


Your Love

by miss_whimsy



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-29
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-06 01:03:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 51,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11589816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_whimsy/pseuds/miss_whimsy
Summary: Set a couple of weeks after “Fool for Love”. Spike and Buffy’s relationship changes through some disturbing events. PG-15





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Hils, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Death-Marked Love](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Death-Marked_Love). To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [the Death-Marked Love collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/deathmarkedlove/profile).
> 
> Rating:PG-15
> 
> Disclaimer: I own Beth, but everything else was borrowed with good intent.
> 
> Summary: set a couple of weeks after “Fool for Love”. Spike and Buffy’s relationship changes through some disturbing events.
> 
> Author’s Note: Dawn Who?

The black car ploughed unheedingly through the “Welcome to Sunnydale” sign, and came to a stop. The driver’s door opened slowly and a leather-boot clad foot thumped to the ground. The beautiful redhead then eased herself gently from behind the wheel and slammed the car door closed. She leaned back against the car and smiled, feeling in the pockets of her black leather trench coat for a packet of cigarettes. This was going to be fun.

 

*********************************************************************

 

Xander Harris approached the table where his three favourite girls were sitting. It was a quiet night at the Bronze. Wednesdays usually were and it gave the three best friends a chance to catch up on each other’s lives. Anya had to come too of course. There was no question. He smiled to himself as he considered his girlfriend. He really was a very lucky man to be dating such a beautiful girl, especially as she was 1120 years old. Xander’s smile grew even larger. The wackiness of life on the hellmouth. “Buff, Will,” Xander nodded at the girls as he slid into his seat next to Anya. “What’s the up?”

Buffy twisted her lovely features in a grimace at the question. “Nothing! And it’s wigging me out. You know what all quiet of the hellmouth front means.”

Willow nodded, “Big evil, end-of-the-world type thing.”

Buffy sighed deeply and pouted. “Exactly. No fair.” The four friends looked solemnly at each other no one saying a word. The band started up a fast dance tune and Xander jumped up.

“So big evil deal. We fought it before, and we kicked it’s ass,” he pulled Anya up next to him and then held out his hands to Buffy and Willow, “Now’s dancing time.” Inspired by Xander’s up-beat mood the girls shook off their worry and followed Xander and Anya onto the dance floor.

 

*********************************************************************

 

Giles walked quickly down the alley that led to the Bronze. He hated having to be the one who stopped Buffy’s fun. He thought of her and her friends as his children really. He had watched them grow up over the last four years and wished not for the first time that he could give them something resembling a normal life. Still maybe there was nothing to worry about this time. He just had a bad feeling.

 

*********************************************************************

 

Buffy spotted Giles from the dance floor. He was peering around the room, obviously searching for someone. Buffy sighed. “The evil has landed!” she said aloud and gestured to her friends that Giles was at the door. As they walked wearily across the room towards him, Buffy saw Giles’ face visibly relax. He smiled as they approached and tried not to look desperate. “Giles,” Buffy raised her eyebrows, “Is something wrong?”

“No, no, well not really. It’s just a feeling. Déjà vu. The sign on the edge of town, a car has mowed it down. Probably just an accident but it made me think…” he trailed off.

“Of Spike,” Buffy picked up where he left off. The same thing had happened when Spike first arrived and again when he returned and kidnapped Willow and Xander.

“Well it can’t be Spike right?” Willow chipped in, “I mean he’s tucked up in his crypt isn’t he?”

Giles nodded. “As far as I know. And he’d have no need to…”

“Other than to cause trouble.” Buffy interrupted. She wouldn’t put it past him. “But if it’s not Spike and we’re thinking hellmouth, who is it?” Giles winced and Buffy knew what was coming. It was time for her to go hunt for the evil. She turned and smiled at her friends. “You guys stay here. Have fun for me! I mean it,” she insisted off their looks. She turned back to Giles. “I’ll do a sweep and meet you at your place later. Find out if anything else of the strange has been happening.” She gave a beaming smile to all her friends and started to march toward the door. First stop Spike.

 

*********************************************************************

 

As she crossed the cemetery that held Spike’s crypt, the vampires attacked her. There were only three and she set about dusting them quickly. She threw the first one backwards over her shoulder, sending him crashing into the side of a mausoleum. The second grabbed her from behind, while the third approach her head on. She leaned back against the vampire holding her and pushed up, catching the advancing vampire’s head between her feet. She twisted her body and his neck snapped, before he fell to the ground. As her legs fell back down she slammed her head back, hitting the vampire in the face. He let go reflexively and she used the moment to drive the stake through his heart. Quickly bending she dusted the vampire lying before her, standing just in time to catch the first one who had regrouped and was charging at her once more.

 

Buffy was breathing heavily; her heart pounding from the rush of adrenaline, when she heard the slow clapping behind her. She spun around, poised to fight, while a small voice at the back of her mind told her she’d done this before.

 

A tall, slim woman with auburn hair stepped from behind a tree. There was something about her that made Buffy stop. She too seemed familiar. Something in her face and stance reminded her of someone. Before she could finish the thought, the woman spoke. She was English. Her accent polished like Giles’. Was that who she reminded her of? “Nice work love,” the woman spoke almost mockingly. She stared at Buffy, her ice-blue eyes seeming to bore right through to her soul. “Makes sense now. And I must admit I like you more than Dru, and you haven’t even spoken yet.”

 

“Who are you?” Buffy asked, not needing to know the answer now. The eyes gave it away. The woman reminded her of Spike, the mention of Drusilla confirming something. Buffy didn’t know what. “You’ll find out!” the woman smirked; the exact same smirk Spike had when he knew he was winning, and walked away.

 

Buffy knew what her own feeling of déjà vu was now. The entire experience had been almost a carbon copy of her first meeting with Spike. Except that that time she had been left confused and scared. This time she was angry.

 

*********************************************************************

 

Spike heard the polite knock at the door and turned in time to see her enter. His eyes lit up and he ran across and spun his sister off the ground. “Beth!” he cried, “What are you doin’ here?” He placed her back on her feet and shook her gently. “I thought you were in England. You’re not in trouble are you?”

Beth laughed up at her brother. “No, I’m not in trouble big brother. When I got your last letter I thought it was time I saw this Slayer of yours for myself.”

Spike turned away. “She’s not mine.” He whispered; so quietly she wouldn’t have heard him if she hadn’t been a vampire.

 

“Well maybe I can do something about that too. Does she know? About you? Your feelings?”

Spike winced, “No and I don’t want her to. And I don’t want you talking to her either!”

“Too late,” Beth told him as she circled the crypt. “And what can she do. Kill me? Good way to go right? Dying in battle. You taught me that. You didn’t tell me to stay away from the other one. The Italian. I kicked her ass!” she laughed at the memory. Spike stared at his much-loved sister, his brain focusing only on the first part of her statement. “What do you mean, ‘too late’?”

 

*********************************************************************

 

Buffy stormed angrily to Giles’s house. Her first thought had been to go straight to Spike’s crypt and confront him, but as she had considered it she thought Spike might not survive the encounter. Therefore she was on her way to Giles’s to try and find some information on the woman who so vividly reminded her of her mortal enemy.

 

*********************************************************************

 

Spike was pacing, dragging furiously on the cigarette between his fingers. Beth stared at her brother in wonder. She had never seen him like this before. He was usually so calm and in control. Even on the odd occasion she had seen him lose the tight rein he kept on himself, on the demon within, he had always seemed to know exactly what he was doing.

 

His relationship with Drusilla hadn’t exactly been a perfect match in her opinion. Spike had worshipped the crazy bitch, and she had always seemed to reciprocate the feelings, but Beth had never trusted her. She hadn’t loved Spike as much as he had loved her. The demon within Beth hated having to admit there was something different about her and her brother. A piece of humanity remained. Something which allowed them to feel love and, to a certain extent, guilt. Not a soul exactly. But something.

 

As Beth watched her brother she imagined the torment he must be going through. Falling truly in love for the first time when you had just been turned into a vampire was disturbing. Losing that love after a hundred years was shattering. But to then fall in love with your mortal enemy, who just happened to the Slayer, the scourge of your kind, was simply shameful.

 

She understood completely and it didn’t matter to her. As long as her twin was happy, she was happy. But Spike had never liked to lose face. He was very proud. He needed reassurance and Beth knew that if Miss Buffy Summers ever came round to the idea, he wouldn’t give a damn what anyone else thought or said or did, he’d simply love her as much as he could. Buffy might not know it yet, but she was a very lucky young lady.

 

*********************************************************************

 

Giles jumped at the sharp knock at the door. He stood and made his way to answer it. It was probably Buffy. “Giles!” the angry shout from outside confirming his thought. It must have been Spike after all. Tormenting her. Giles gave a small smile. The two of them fought like children in a schoolyard. If they hadn’t hated each other so much Giles would have thought that they…. He was reminded of the previous year when one of Willow’s spells had left the two believing they loved each other and planning a wedding. He gave a small shudder at the thought and opened the door.

 

The small blonde whirlwind that entered his apartment looked incredibly pissed. Giles was almost afraid to ask what was wrong. He was just picking up the courage when she spoke. Her voice was low and her teeth were clamped together. This was never a good sign. “Does he have family?” She didn’t really need to clarify whom. Buffy only got that look in her eyes when she was talking about Spike.

“I don’t think so. None that could be living anyway, he’s over 120 years old Buffy.” Giles walked towards his bookcase, finding the book that detailed Spike’s history. Now he came to think of it there had been a mention of a….

 

“None living, but what about another vampire? Sister most probably.” Buffy was pacing the living room, talking almost to herself. “It was there in her eyes. I know it was.” Giles looked at her oddly and went back to searching the text.

 

*********************************************************************

 

Spike didn’t want to talk about Buffy. It would just depress him. And as had already fulfilled his misery quota for the decade, he turned the conversation instead to his sister. He didn’t know exactly why she was here. He didn’t doubt that she’d come because of the letter, and he didn’t doubt she was on his side, but he didn’t think she was telling him the whole truth.

“How did you get here anyway?” he asked.

“By way of Brazil. Paid a visit on my much unloved sister-in-law and found her shacked up with a fungus demon… whom I simply had to kill. Pity really he seemed like a nice bloke.”

 

Spike laughed out loud. God it felt like ages since he’d laughed, but the image of Dru’s demon-lover being done in by his little sister was too much. They laughed together for a while, recapping what had happened in each other’s lives lately. Each of them leaving out an important detail. But Beth could not stay silent on the subject of the Slayer forever.

 

“You know Will, the man I used to know would have told her by now. Wrote her a sonnet or something. And I’m not talking about the wishy-washy crap you used to write for maidens in drawing rooms, I’m talking about that burning passion stuff you used to keep locked in your desk drawer.”

 

Spike stared at his sister in shock. She wasn’t supposed to know about those poems. No one was. But then he probably shouldn’t be surprised. He could never keep anything from her.

“I can’t tell her. It’s bad enough I feel like this without having to face her with it. She’ll just laugh in my face and run off to that wet ponce she’s dating.” Spike’s eyes narrowed at the thought of Riley. Angel had been bad. That Parker bloke had been pathetic. But Riley. What exactly did she see in him? If he could have thought of one thing about Riley that didn’t make him want to rip his throat out, Spike would probably have spontaneously combusted from shock.

 

Beth thought it was time she told Spike the truth. Maybe if she shared her secret they’d be able to help each other. “You’re not the only one who’s in love with the wrong person Will.” Spike eyed her curiously. He’d known there was something she was keeping from him.

“Who is it? What’s he done to you? If anyone’s hurt you I swear…” Beth smiled sadly at the look in her brother’s eyes. She lowered her head.

“No, no-one’s hurt me. It just went wrong. My fault really.” She looked up at her brother. “He was… is a watcher. Runs in the family you see.” Beth tried to laugh it off, but the pain of the last few years was catching up with her and the tears she had been trying to hold back for Spike’s sake started to roll down her pale cheeks.

 

*********************************************************************

 

“The book mentions a sister. A vampire, turned about two months after Spike. There’s only one other mention of her. She killed a Slayer in Italy in the ‘20’s. That was the last anyone heard of her. She must have kept in touch with Spike though. If she’s here.” Giles removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose as he spoke. Buffy had sat silent throughout and he was starting to worry about her. “Are you worried about this girl? She killed a Slayer, but Spike killed two and you’ve never been afraid of him when fighting, have you?”

 

Buffy looked up at Giles shocked. How was she supposed to answer that? Not the truth obviously. He worried about her enough as it was. If he knew…. “No not afraid.” She made up her mind to stick to the facts. And it was true, after the first time, she hadn’t been afraid. So it wasn’t lying, just omission. Buffy decided to get back to the matter at hand.

 

“I’m not afraid of her, I just want to know why she’s here. If it was just a family reunion why did she come and watch me fight? Why did she use exactly the same words Spike used? And the other thing. “Makes sense now” What’s that supposed to mean? None of it makes sense.” Buffy slumped wearily back on the couch. She knew she was going to have to face Spike and his sister sometime if she wanted answers. But she wanted to be prepared.

 

********************

 

Spike held his sister as she wept. He felt terrible. He’d been so busy pouring out all of his feelings for Buffy in his letters over the past few months, he hadn’t even realised anything was wrong with Beth. He wondered who this bloke was. After 120 years his little sister had fallen in love and she’d fallen in love with a watcher. What a family! He’d always known he and Beth were different, something he didn’t like to think about too often. He’d accepted long ago that he could feel things other demons, other vampires, couldn’t. How else could he love the Slayer? He started to laugh again. What a pair they were.

 

Beth looked up at Spike, her eyes wide as he started to laugh. The hopeless irony of it all got to her too and she began to laugh. What was the matter with them? Spike put Beth away from him and went to fetch them something to eat. Giles had supplied him with a generous quantity of blood bags from the hospital. It wasn’t the same as drinking from a human but Spike couldn’t and Beth wouldn’t; Spike gave a small smile and shook his head. Two more hopeless vampires he’d never known. He poured the blood from two of the bags into two mugs and passed one to his sister. Beth raised an eyebrow at the blood filled mugs. “This way we can pretend.” He said defensively. Beth smiled and drank hungrily from the mug. “So this bloke, this watcher of yours,” Spike needed to know what had upset his sister so much. “Who is he? What’s his name?”

 

Beth hesitated. She knew Spike was trying to make up for the months she had to listen to non-stop talk of Miss Summers, but she didn’t know exactly how to tell him. She thought she should start from the beginning.

 

“His name is Wesley.”

 

********************

 

“So we’re thinking this is bad?” Xander looked back and forth between Buffy and Giles as the gang sat in Giles’ apartment. Willow had become worried about Buffy facing whatever danger there was alone and had called Giles from the Bronze to ask if Buffy had checked in. Once Giles had assured her Buffy was fine, he asked her to bring Xander and Anya to his apartment for a meeting.

 

“I’m thinking very bad,” Buffy confirmed. “The whole situation was seriously wiggy. Maybe I should just go talk to them!”

Willow looked nervously at her friend and then up at Giles who was pacing behind the couch.

“Don’t you think you should try and find out a little more about her first? I mean if she’s as bad as Spike… and without that chip, well, you know, she could…” Willow trailed off as the others stared at her wide-eyed. “Sorry.”

 

“Well, no, I think you’re right Willow. It would be more helpful if we knew something about this girl, but I’m sorry to say there’s no one who can tell us much about her, ex.. except, uh, Spike.”

Giles rubbed his hand over his face. He was worried. Between them, Spike and his sister would be a formidable force. And Giles had realised long ago that the only thing stopping Spike from killing anyone was the fear of the pain, which followed an attack. And at some point Spike might be willing to forbear the pain in order to kill Buffy.

 

*****************

 

“I met him in London. It was about 3 years ago. We, uh, bumped into one another at the theatre. He was so… I don’t know. There was something. I mean he’s not exactly handsome. Good-looking in a weird kind of way. And his voice is sort of… as if he’s been taught to speak with an English accent. Not wrong just far more refined than anyone’s should be. And he was so sweet, I mean straight-laced and uptight, but sweet. I wanted to get underneath that controlled front he put up and get to know the real man. He bought me a drink and we talked about the play, it was ‘Twelfth Night’ by the way, your favourite, and he asked me if I’d like to have dinner with him. I know I should have said no. But for that hour we had talked I had forgotten I was a vampire. Forgotten everything except how good I felt about life when I looked at him. So I said yes.

 

We had been seeing each other for about 2 weeks when I found out he was a Watcher. I had heard something about an attack that prat Pel had planned on the council and I went to try and stop him. I know, don’t care about the council, but I did want to stop Pel. Stupid sod never could remember when to give up gracefully. Anyway I waited outside for them to show when I saw Wes coming out of the building. If my heart had been beating it would have stopped. I was so shocked I could hardly move. By the time I’d sorted Pel out it was too late for me to go after Wesley and I just had to go home. The next night I went to see him. I told him everything…

 

“Beth. Please come…”

“No Wesley. Before you say anything there’s something I have to tell you… show you. I’m a vampire.”

“What?!”

 

As my face changed I saw his hand reach inside his coat for a cross. I felt tears rise up in my eyes and I knew it would take a lot for me to convince him. But I had to Will. The pain I felt when he looked at me like I had betrayed him, as though I was the lowest creature on Earth, it was almost too much to bear.

 

“Wesley, please listen to me. If I’d wanted to kill you don’t you think I’d have done it by now? I’ve had every opportunity. And I didn’t have to tell you before you invited me in. I stopped you, because you mean a lot to me, and if you let me explain…”

“Explain what? You’re a vampire. Vampires should die!”

“Please half an hour. We’re not all the same. Some of us… some of us can do good.”

 

I don’t know what it was that made him relent. Maybe he loved me as much as I loved him. He listened to the whole story, not saying one word until I’d finished.

 

“This is going to be a long story. I’ll have to start 142 years ago. My elder brother, Marcus, was 12 when my twin brother and I were born in August 1858. As Duke of Falham my father owned a great estate in Oxfordshire where we lived for the first 16 years of my life. Marcus taught us to ride and hunt. He taught us to dance and encouraged us to learn. My governess was more concerned with me needlework and watercolour than the improvement of my mind but I wanted to know everything. My brother, William and I would talk constantly about the things we had read, encouraging each other and debating with each other. We knew each other better than anyone else in the world. We knew that there was a passion inside us, a passion for life and love and learning, something that scared us. It wasn’t a time when people were open and honest about their feelings, especially not young ladies, but with Will I could be myself, just as he could be himself with me.

 

When we were 11 our father died in a hunting accident. Marcus became Duke of Falham at the very young age of 23. He handled it wonderfully. Ruled the estate, helped us in our studies, and when we reached 18 he took us to London for the Season. William fell in love. A hundred times. With each beautiful girl he saw. He wrote them poems, awful poems really, but the passion had to find an outlet. I knew that inside his feelings were stronger, not as insipid as they seemed, but he was afraid to let go and show what he truly felt. Every year we’d go back and every year he’d have a new love.

 

By the time we were 22 Will had become the joke of the season. His poems were mocked and it gave me pain to see him so hurt. He’d never bat an eyelid in public, but at home he’d cry for the love he wanted so desperately. I was engaged to be married. Lord Rotherham was not the love of my life but at 22 you took what you could get. He wanted my money and I didn’t want to be an old maid. That year William fell in love with a scheming little baggage called Cecily. He couldn’t see what she was. Could only pour out his love for her over and over. She wanted a title you see and Lord William James was never going to be as good as the Duke of Falham. William being the second son would never inherit the title. She wanted Marcus.

 

One night as my mother and I were going up to bed there was a loud banging at the door. It was close to 1 in the morning and the disturbance shocked us a little. The man at the door was half carrying, half dragging my elder brother. Marcus had been shot at his club. The man had been arrested but my brother was fatally injured. He died about half an hour later in his bed.

 

My mother collapsed and had to be put to bed. I waited up for William. He was Duke of Falham now you see, ironic really when you think about Cecily. I wanted him there with me, to tell me everything was going to be alright. At half two I felt a rushing pain in my stomach. They say that twins always know when one is in danger and I felt it. I knew. They found his body in a lonely back alley, not far from the house he had been at that night, attending a party.

 

Both of my brothers dead the same night. My mother couldn’t cope. She simply gave up living. She died a month later. After that there was nothing left for me to live for either. The wedding had to be postponed. Lord Rotherham was very kind, but I really didn’t care whether I lived or died.

 

About two months later there was another knock on the door. It was even later this time around 3 in the morning. I had fallen asleep in the library and went to answer the door myself. There was a man there. Tall, dark, broodingly handsome. He told me he could take me to my brother; he could take me to William. We could be a family again. I wasn’t thinking straight. Maybe I thought it was some kind of dream. I asked his name and he smiled and said ‘Angel’. An angel I thought. It is a dream. So I went with him. Right then, without telling anyone where I was going or even that I had left the house.

 

He took me to an old boarded up house and pulled me down the alley at the side. When we reached the back garden he yanked me by the hair and pushed my face up against the window. I knew then it wasn’t a dream. He’d hurt me. I was going to die and I knew it and I didn’t care. ‘Look’ he growled in my ear and I peered inside the old house. My brother, my William was sitting there at a table with two beautiful girls. I was shocked, scared, confused. I turned to ask the man holding me when I saw his face… He bit into my neck and lifted one hand to scratch the side of his face, drawing blood. ‘Drink’ was all I heard and I did, not knowing what I was doing; not caring what happened to me as long as I had my brother.

 

When I finally came to a few days later Will was there waiting for me. He looked so anxious and angry. I threw my arms around him and he hugged me as though his life depended on it. Only it didn’t. Our lives depended on nothing but blood from then on. He’s never forgiven Angelus for doing that to me. We’re different you see, Will and I. I don’t know. Maybe if I’d known what was going to happen; what I was going to become… No I’d still have done it. There was no choice really. I’d have died alone without my family you see. At least that way I could still have something.

 

He looked after me, made sure I was always safe and I travelled with him. Going everywhere he went. He changed his name after a while. Spike. There’s a funny story about that… but I don’t suppose you’d want to hear it. He’s killed two Slayers you know. I was so proud. Of all his achievements and he of mine. I was there for the first one. During the Boxer rebellion. He started dating Dru after that. Mad bitch. I never liked her. She didn’t really deserve him. And she hated me back twice as much. I took his attention away from her you see.

 

In 1929 we were in Italy. Venice. The most romantic place on Earth, so they say. Will and Dru were having a great time, but I was bored. Bored with the unlife. I wanted to die. I found out there was a Slayer nearby, fighting the forces of darkness, as they do. I went looking for her. Left my brother a note telling him I loved him and why I was going to do what I was going to do.

 

I found her easily enough. I should have just stood there and let her stake me I suppose, but I wanted to go fighting, some sort of pride I expect. So I fought her. And as I fought her I stopped wanting to die. I wanted to live. I wanted to beat her. I wanted to kill the Slayer. And I did. Killed her. Drank her and then tossed her into the Grand Canal.

 

And then I cried.

 

I haven’t killed anyone since that day. Maybe I grew a conscience, I don’t know, but I can’t kill anyone anymore. Can’t even drink from them. In 70 years I haven’t harmed another human being.

 

Now Wesley I don’t know if you can understand this, deal with this, or trust me. But I love you. In 142 years I’ve never loved anyone else. Please, can we work through this?’

 

And he said yes. Just like that. Then he kissed me and we… you don’t want to know. And we were happy. For 6 months we were happy. But then he had to leave; he had to come here, to Sunnydale to look after a Slayer. We fought. Said things we didn’t mean. I told him I’d go with him but he was angry. He said he didn’t trust me around a Slayer. It felt like he’d hit me. I know he didn’t really mean it but that was it. The end. I left and I never saw him again. I’ve heard things about him. Kept in touch with the news but… He’s in LA with Angelus. Working for him. It’s hell you know. Being this close to him and not being able to…”

 

Beth looked across at Spike who was staring at her intently and nodding his head. Of course he knew how it felt. Wasn’t it far worse for him seeing Buffy every day and not even being able to tell her how he felt?

 

“I’m sorry Will.” He smiled at her. He knew she was worried about him. They’d get through this. Together they’d help each other.

 

****************

 

As Riley approached the clearing in Breaker’s Woods his heartbeat quickened and his breathing became shallower. He could see her in the distance, waiting for him. She was the one of the most beautiful creatures he had ever seen. She and Buffy; the two women held his heart and as the days passed he became more and more confused. Buffy was the sun, the day; sparkling and joyous. The woman he approached now, she was the moon. Mysterious with a hint of danger and passion. She heard him draw near and turned, her black eyes locating him instantly in the night. He saw then. He knew. This was the true love. Buffy had never really been his and he was glad of that now. He smiled at her, knowing that soon Buffy would understand why she should have loved him as this woman did. A slow menacing smile spread across her beautiful alabaster face.

“Hello luv. Mummy’s got a surprise for you.”

 

********************

 

Part Two

 

Beth pulled the blanket tightly over her head and made her way out into the sunlight. Spike was still asleep and she knew this would be her only chance to speak to the Watcher alone. He wouldn’t follow her during the daytime. At least she hoped not. It would be harder to find her anyway. She made her way quickly through the streets of Sunnydale along the route she’d planned out the night before. She soon arrived in the small courtyard and knocked at the Watcher’s door.

 

Giles set his mug down on the table and went to answer the door. He had sent Buffy home with Willow, Xander and Anya the night before, making her promise not to approach Spike until that evening. He was using the day to find out everything he could about Spike’s sister and Willow had promised to spend the afternoon searching the Internet for helpful information.

 

The grey blanket over the leather duster which greeted him assured him it was a vampire He was reaching behind the door for a cross and stake when the blanket spoke.

“Mr Giles? I’m sure you know who I am by now. I suppose a promise not to eat you won’t illicit an invitation?” The cultured English accent gave him a moment’s pause. Whose accent had changed then, over the past 120 years? He shook his head as he registered the inane thought and answered the girl.

“You suppose right. I’ve let two vampires into my home in the past four years and they both ended up betraying us, so if you have anything to say make it quick, or I’ll be sending you back to your brother in an urn.” A threat to Buffy always caused Giles to go into total Ripper mode, something he couldn’t control.

 

The blanket laughed brightly and parted, so that Giles could see the beautiful pale face and the thick auburn hair, loosely curled. Giles’ eyes widened at the vision in front of him, before he remembered who she was and quickly got himself back under control.

“When Spike said he respected you even though you were a Watcher, and human, I thought he was going mad. But now I see why. Please, I can’t kill you. It’s a moral thing, and yes I know vampires don’t have morals, but I’ve said this 100 times, we’re not all the same. There is something I need to talk to you about quite urgently.”

 

As Giles looked into her eyes he understood what Buffy had been talking about the previous night. Her eyes, like Spike’s, pierced your soul. There was either truth or deceit, and you never knew quite which it was at the time. “And if I kill you, Miss Summers’ll kill me, right? I don’t really fancy that. Dying young’s only fun the first time.” Giles decided he had to know what this woman could possibly have to talk about with him and he knew that she could very well answer some of the questions that had been niggling them all since her arrival. He stepped aside.

“Please come in.”

 

Beth entered quickly and removed the blanket from her head. She turned to face Giles as she removed her gloves and trench coat. “Nice place,” she said, glancing around the room. She noticed the aloof statement on Giles face and decided to come to the point. “I didn’t come here to hurt anyone. I haven’t killed or fed from a human in 70 years so I promise I’m no threat to you.”

 

Giles raised his eyebrows at her statement. She’d surprised him, and after 4 and a half years on the Sunnydale Hellmouth, it took a lot to surprise Giles.

“Why are you here then? Family reunion?”

Beth smiled. “In a way. My brother’s last letter gave my cause for concern. So here I am, faithful sister lending her support.” She sat down on the couch and put her feet up on the table. Confused, Giles walked round to sit next to her, indicating that she should put her feet back on the floor. He placed the stake he still held on he table, and put the cross down on his lap.

“Why would Spike need your support?”

“Well, you know, with the chip and everything.” Beth replied vaguely. Now she was here she was unsure how to broach the subject. Maybe she could convince him that underneath the evil demon façade, Spike was a good guy. “And then he’s in love with Buffy.” Or she could just come straight out and say it. Beth winced at her tactlessness.

 

“Spike..uh? Spike’s….uh.. Spike’s in … in love… with.. with Buffy?!” He blinked as Beth nodded.

“Mr Giles, please, you have to promise not to say anything, especially not to Buffy. He’d kill me if he knew I was telling you, but I’m worried about him. He’s having a really bad time. I want to reassure you that Spike won’t hurt her. He’s a good man, really. Loyal, well mostly, and he’s caring, generous, very loving. If you could just get past the homicidal bit…”

Giles raised his eyebrows. “It’s not really something you can overlook!”

“But he can’t hurt anyone now.” Beth saw his look. “Well, yes, he could – but he won’t. That’s the difference you see. Can’t you honestly say that Spike isn’t like other vampires? That even without his soul he can be as human as any of you? When you remember what Angelus was like, don’t you wish it had been Spike that lost his soul? He’s different. We’re different. I don’t know why. He never, ever goes for easy targets. Why do you think he fights Slayers instead of avoiding them at all costs like every other vampire? So all of this is very hard for him. Loving Buffy… it even surpasses what he felt for Dru.”

 

“We could give him a soul,” Giles mused quietly.

“No!” Beth shouted. That was going a little too far. Lord, Spike was going to kill her for this. She took a deep, unneeded breath and looked Giles straight in the eyes. “He’d be different, you know he would. And what if lost it and got worse. The demon doesn’t like having a soul, that’s why Angelus always appears even worse than the last time when he emerges. And trust me, you really wouldn’t want the William I knew. He was a wonderful brother, but fighting was never really his thing, and I doubt very much that battling the forces of darkness would make any difference. Remember it took Angel a good 100 years before he started to help anyone, and that was only because of Buffy. Well Spike will help Buffy, without the soul, so let’s not do that ok?” Beth was speaking quickly, desperately trying to convince Giles that a soul was not the answer. Eventually he nodded his head wearily.

“You’re right. A soul’s out of the question. But what do you want me to do?”

 

*****************

 

As Buffy made her way to Giles’ house that evening she decided to do a quick sweep of the cemetery. It was early, just getting dark, but Buffy hoped she’d find something to take her anger and frustration out on. And not for the first time in the last two years, Buffy wished she could take it out on Spike. As much as she hated to admit it fighting Spike had always been one of the enjoyable parts of her Slayer duties. Well if you ignored the fact that he’d almost killed her several times. He was her equal when they fought, unlike most other vampires who were dust within a few seconds. It was fun fighting Spike. A true test of her powers.

 

Which meant she hadn’t had a true test of her powers for over a year. If he hadn’t had that thing in his head, he’d be useful to train with. Angel had always held back when they trained, not wanting to hurt her, even though they both knew she could hurt him a damn sight more. And Riley. We’ll he wasn’t a third as strong as her AND he didn’t want to hurt her. Men! At least Spike always gave as good as he got. Without that chip he’d been able to…

 

‘To kill you Buffy Summers and you know it. Stop thinking about him as anything other than your mortal enemy,’ her mind called out to her. But he could kill her. Even now. She knew that. He’d tried a few weeks ago. ‘What made him stop? He was angry and he’d been crying, and he had a shotgun pointed at your head. And instead of blowing your brains all over your front porch like you wanted him to… Yes you did… he sat down next to you and comforted you. What was that about?!’ Buffy’s mind was racing with the possibilities. She didn’t dwell on any of them too long, purposely avoiding the idea that Spike…

 

“Hello luv. Looking for me?”

Buffy spun around at the sound of his voice, automatically assuming a defensive pose. He raised his hands in front of her and took a step back, as he had once in the past, when he had come to ask for her help. He didn’t look like he wanted her help now. He had that mocking grin on his face, amused at the way she reacted, at the way she was standing now, not really knowing what to say.

“You wish,” she shot back relaxing a little. This she could handle. Their verbal sparing also, had always given her a thrill. Another thing she really shouldn’t dwell on. “You taken to lurking in the shadows now? Wanna help me kill a few of your cousins? Or just get the hell away from me?” Spike’s smile grew as she spoke, which upset her even more.

 

“Tut, tut, pet. We both know you’re not going to hurt me, and I’d have thought you’d be only too happy for my company as I’m the only person you know, that you can have a decent conversation with when the witch isn’t around.” Buffy opened her mouth to protest, but found that there was really no way to deny the statement. Giles was like her dad, Anya and Tara she didn’t know well enough, Xander she loved like a brother but even she had to admit he got a little trying after a while, and Riley… Riley was confusing her more and more recently. They’d really have to have a proper talk soon. Damn Spike. “How do you know me so well?” It wasn’t until he answered that she realised she’d spoken aloud.

 

“Same way you know me love. We’re the same, you and I, apart from the vampire/Slayer thing. Two parts of the same whole, or another piece of sentimental crap like that. Take your pick.” Buffy blinked at him. He’d done it again. Said what was in her mind. She hated that.

 

They stared at each other for what seemed an eternity. Buffy’s breathing grew heavy as she looked at him. He must know there was something there between them. Something Buffy really didn’t want to deal with. Or admit. Did he feel it? That was another thing she hated about Spike. While he always seemed to know what was going on, not only with her but with her friends too, Buffy was completely at a loss when it came to him and what was in his mind. There had to be something she could say to… “I met your sister last night. Are you going to tell me why she was following me around?”

 

“Don’t know luv. Maybe she just wanted to get a good look at you before she ripped your throat out.” He smirked, his outward appearance not for one second betraying the confusion he felt at the way she was behaving. “She’s already killed one Slayer you know. Maybe she’s come to make it two.” Arguing with her made it easier, but not much.

 

Buffy laughed at his words. Yes this made it much better. Her eyes narrowed and a small smile crept across her lips. “You’ve killed two,” she taunted, “And you’ve never managed.”

 

***************

 

Beth made her way quickly through the graveyard. She had spent all day filling Giles in on Spike’s life, from birth to his first glory in killing a Slayer; from his first love with Dru to his recent discovery about Buffy. He had asked intelligent questions, which made her like him even more, and had filled her in on everything Spike left out of his letters, and on Buffy’s life to date, which she had been most interested in. Eventually Giles had relaxed enough to make them some tea, an English stereotype she had no intention of giving up. In her experience she had found that tea really was the cure for everything.

 

Now as she travelled back to Spike’s crypt she felt uneasy as though someone was watching her. The nearer she got the stronger the feeling, until eventually she stopped and concentrated. A strange sensation ran through her and she knew immediately who was there.

“I’m really not in the mood for hide and seek tonight Dru!”

 

Drusilla stepped out from behind a nearby tree, her red velvet dress emphasizing her astounding beauty. She had her favourite doll clasped to her chest, a malevolent smile spread across her lovely face. “Miss Edith was awfully upset when you killed her new daddy. She was wondering what we could take of yours to make you feel the same.”

 

Beth’s eyes widened. After 50 years of living with Dru, and another 50 in contact with her through Spike, Beth was no longer affected by Dru’s beauty and innocent demeanour. She was mad. It was that simple. Angelus had done his job well. Drusilla was a raving loony at best and a homicidal maniac at worst. Therefore her words left Beth anxious, as she knew that a woman who had intended to create hell on Earth would have no qualms about brutally killing Beth’s loved ones.

 

For once Beth was grateful she didn’t have many loved ones. Just two actually and Dru didn’t know about Wesley. So that left Spike.

“Dru please. I thought you loved Spike!” Pleading; was that going to work?

“I do love my Spike. I won’t harm him. But the rest of the world. I’ve always wanted that. And with a little help from my friends, it shall be mine and then you can spend eternity in torment.” Her voice was sparkling, like an excited child talking about a new toy.

“What friends?” Beth asked, desperate to know what she was up against.

“Why, Darla and Angelus of course.” And with that she disappeared.

 

Beth stood fixed to the spot staring after Dru, shocked. ‘She’s lost whatever was left of her mind’, Beth thought. ‘Darla’s dead isn’t she. And Angelus..’ Well Beth could check. She ran the rest of the way to the crypt and fished her mobile out of her bag.

 

*******************

 

“Why haven’t you killed me?”

“What?” Spike looked confused. Of all the things he’d anticipated her saying, she had to pick the one thing he’d never thought she’d ask, and it was the one subject he should’ve known she’d raise.

“We’ve been doing this, whatever it is for three and a half years. One of us should be dead by now!”

Spike sighed wearily. He really didn’t want to have this talk with her. Not without some form of narcotic first, anyway. “Buffy…” He sounded uncomfortable and uneasy. He started to pace. “…do we have to get into this now?”

 

Buffy was bemused by his behaviour. They’d talked about this kind of thing before. He used stuff like this to get to her. And after what had happened the last time they had one of these talks, she really needed to know what he thought. “I want to know. You said we were dancing. You said I had a death wish and that you’d grant it. And then when I wanted you to, you stopped. Why? Are you trying to drive me insane first? Cause it’s working!”

 

Spike was starting to get angry. It was always the same. The mocking banter, the physical blows, and then they’d get serious and deep. He hated that. He gritted his teeth and threw his head back.

“God… You know sometimes Slayer…” He stopped pacing and looked back at her, his eyes flashing dangerously. And he stopped. She did look sincere. He sighed again. It wasn’t really any wonder she was feeling like this. She was approaching 20, her mum was really ill, she had to spend every night fighting the forces of darkness and she was dating a ‘Ken’ doll. Her life couldn’t really get much worse, now he thought about it.

“Truth?”

 

She nodded slowly, desperate for the answer, but not actually sure that wanted to hear it. He moved closer to her, as close as they had been that night in the alley, and stared into her eyes.

 

“Whenever I try to kill you, I get this close, and remember that killing you means you’re dead. Gone. Forever.”

 

Whatever Buffy had been expecting it hadn’t been that. She blushed at his words, unable to tear her gaze away from his beautiful piercing blue eyes. She saw his mouth move and realised he was talking again.

 

“And no matter how angry you make me, no matter how easy it would be to end it, if you die, then what?”

 

Buffy was shaking. He could read her mind.

 

“What’ll I have then? Nothing; except to live forever; or until Joyce catches up with me; without you…”

 

He trailed off. Buffy held her breath. This time she wouldn’t push him away. This time she knew she’d do the right thing.

 

“… bugging me incessantly.” He stepped back and smiled at her. ‘Thank God. You caught yourself just in time then my boy. You’d have found yourself on your ass in the dirt again.’ His eyes swept over Buffy’s face and he was amazed to see such shock and what looked to him, incredibly, like pain. ‘Make it better you stupid wanker, say something nice, friendly’.

 

Spike twisted his mouth as he searched for a suitable way to finish what he had been saying. “And no one second of dominance is worth that.” He smiled at her again, wishing she would say something.

 

Buffy pulled herself together. ‘You’re a jerk, Buffy Summers, and Spike’s a jerk. Get back in control here,’ she berated herself. “But we’re mortal enemies, remember?”

 

Unfortunately for Spike he remembered every conversation they’d ever had. Full Technicolor pictures and surround sound, especially that night. “Right,” he replied now, using her mocking words of two and a half years ago, “we don’t get time-outs.” He was getting more and more uncomfortable. Shouldn’t she be feeling just as awkward? “What about you? Why’ve you never done me?”

 

Buffy wished she’d never started this whole conversation. ‘Note to self. Keep your mouth shut!’

“I don’t know. The same I guess.” She turned away, unable to look at him while she confessed. “If I kill you I can’t fight you, I can’t argue with you. I’ll never be able to wonder what pathetic plan you’ve got lined up for me, or find out whether you’ll go back to being a ruthless bastard if you ever get that thing out your head.”

 

“I will!” Spike’s grin had continued to widen throughout her monologue. Really she was very cute when she was flustered. “But I promise not to kill you.”

‘Great,’ his demon mocked him, ‘let her see your still an evil creature of the night, and not an enormous Nancy-boy like all her previous boyfriends.’

“Maybe!” he clarified.

 

Buffy laughed. She could see he was struggling with himself over that one. ‘Well Buffy, you can’t miss the opportunity of making him feel even worse.’

“Uh-uh. Too late.” She approached him quickly, a mischievous grin on her face. “You said you wouldn’t.” She was standing directly in front of him now and their closeness made her serious. “And, amazingly… I trust you.” She leant up quickly and kissed his cheek. “Good night Spike.”

 

Spike watched her turn quickly and run in the direction of Giles’ apartment. He was rooted to the spot; glad that there was no way he could die of a heart attack. “She trusts me?” he whispered; wonder filling his voice at the thought. “Well, damn! She won again.”

 

*************************

 

He should have heard the advance, his vampire senses tuned to the blood rushing through the human body. But his attention was focused on Buffy, the mocking grin falling from his face as she disappeared across the graveyard. No one had ever confused him like this; no one had made him feel like such a fool in 120 years.

 

Riley approached Spike slowly, careful not to make any noise. The instruction had been clear. Spike was not to die tonight, but Riley was determined to put him out of action. His behaviour towards Buffy recently had filled Riley with a sense of jealousy he hadn’t previously encountered. Not even with Angel. Maybe it was because Buffy seemed to be so in tune with the soulless vampire, who she had protected for over a year. The scene he had just witnessed pushed his own betrayal of Buffy out of his mind. Thinking about it filled him with a rage that momentarily obscured what he was doing and he forgot his silent approach.

 

The noise behind him, made Spike turn quickly; his face changing in the process, to its vampiric visage. He saw Riley looming close and prepared himself for the pain that would follow his defence of himself. Riley attacked then, launching himself at Spike and knocking them both to the ground.

 

Beth saw the struggle in the distance and allowed her own demon to emerge so that she could see two men better. On witnessing her brother being beaten by another man, Beth raced across the cemetery, her anger growing with every step. After 70 years the demon inside her felt a thrill at the thought of killing the human. Beth’s morals were certainly better than every other soulless vampire in the world, but where Spike was concerned the idea of not harming humans was impossible.

 

Riley heard Beth’s approach and jumped up hastily, retreating from the scene as suddenly as he had arrived. Beth considered chasing the human but her concern for Spike overwhelmed her. She sank to the ground next to the unconscious body of her brother. At least he wasn’t dead… well not any more than he had been before the attack. Beth used all of her strength to lift Spike into her arms, and carried him slowly back to the crypt.

 

****************

 

Buffy was looking for Riley. He had been acting very peculiarly lately and he hadn’t called her for two days. With anyone else she wouldn’t have worried, but Riley was nothing if not reliable. Usually. It simply wasn’t like him to avoid her like this. And avoiding her he must be as he wasn’t at home, or college or anywhere. People had seen him. His friends continued to tell her he was around, but he wasn’t around her, which was the problem now.

 

Buffy winced at the thought that she hadn’t really noticed he hadn’t been around. She’d been so busy the last couple of days worrying about what Spike and his sister were getting up to that she hadn’t thought about him much at all. Not that she was going to fill him in on the Spike situation. Riley had a tendency to be possessive and jealous when it came to the men in Buffy’s life. And he was seriously wiggy when it came to Spike.

 

‘Well don’t you think he has a reason to be?’ Buffy’s mind once again betrayed her.

“No!” she emphasized aloud, refusing to compare Riley and Spike in any way.

‘And why don’t you want to compare them?’ her mind asked.

“Shut up!” she said aloud, causing Willow and Tara to look up at her from their position on the rug. Buffy had gone to the two young witches for help when the conventional methods of searching for one’s boyfriend had led nowhere. The girls were currently setting up to perform a locator spell for Riley.

 

“What?” Willow looked anxiously at her best friend. She had been worried about Buffy since she had heard everything Giles had had to say on the subject of Spike’s sister. Buffy didn’t seem to be worried at all, more angry than anything else. And now she was talking to herself, which wasn’t always a bad thing, but Willow wished that Buffy would confide whatever problem she had, in her.

 

Buffy stared at Willow, wishing there was a way that she could tell her best friend the truth. She always told Willow everything and she wanted nothing more than to spill out all the confusion that had been running through her about Spike for the last three weeks. ‘Don’t you mean three years?’ her mind called out, and Buffy shook her head violently to rid herself of the thoughts. Willow was looking at her strangely again, and Buffy kicked herself for worrying her friend.

 

“Nothing, I’m fine Will, really. I’m just worried about Riley, you know.”

‘Great. Lying to Willow. Guess you won’t be winning the Best-best-friend Award, yet again this year.’ Buffy gritted her teeth and smiled at Willow. She had been worried that Buffy might not accept her relationship with Tara, and that they might grow apart because of it. Buffy knew that this was never going to happen. She liked Tara, she did. And if Willow was happy, then everything was all right with her. She made a decision to have a long, intensive talk with Willow later to ensure that they were still strong. She’d even fill her in on Spike. Maybe.

 

******************

 

“Why are we here?” Anya’s bored tone informed Xander that whatever he said in reply, it was going to be wrong.

“Giles asked us to come. Why don’t you ask him?” Passing the buck was always easiest on his sex life.

“Why are we here?” Anya repeated, raising her voice so that Giles could hear her in the kitchen. Xander was trying hard to control his laughter. Anya was nothing if not direct. She was always willing to ask the questions everyone else was too afraid to.

‘Like Cordelia.’

 

Cordelia? Xander’s eyes widened. Where had that thought come from? He looked nervously at Anya. He often thought she could read his mind, though even as a demon it had never been one of her skills. But she was just sitting there, leafing through a magazine while she waited for an answer from Giles.

 

‘Phew. That was close. Why are you thinking about Cordy? You haven’t thought about her for over a year. Well apart from those few times she rang to talk to Willow. And whenever Angel shows up, you can’t help wondering how she’s doing. And sometimes when you fight with Anya, you wonder whether it could have worked out with her. Well, if you’d never kissed Willow. Which you’re glad you did, because that led to having Anya, and that makes you happy. Most of the time. And kissing Willow that was nice. What? Now what are you thinking? You love Anya. Focus. Anya. If she knew the way your thoughts wandered… aren’t you glad she’s not an angry vengeance demon anymore…?’

 

Anya, luckily for Xander, was completely oblivious to the turmoil in his head. She was bored. But then she was usually bored nowadays. She had spent 1120 years avenging scorned women, and now she was stuck in the body of a 19 year old, trying to survive life as a mortal. And life as a mortal sucked. Big time. She looked at Xander. He seemed anxious about something. Was Spike’s sister going to bring about hell on Earth? God she hoped so. Anything had to make this existence more interesting. She hid her smile. At least there was one good thing about being human. She had Xander. And sex. That was two things. Her smile grew. Life suddenly looked better.

 

Xander saw Anya’s smile and frowned. She didn’t really smile all that much. Actually he couldn’t remember the last time she had smiled at him. She took everything so seriously. She must know about his un-reconciled feelings for Cordy and Willow. She was going to do something awful to him. Probably while he slept. He could see it in his mind’s eye. That night after the lovemaking, she’d bite his head off.

‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ his mind mocked.

‘Hey, it’s not the first time you’ve been in that situation pal,’ he argued back.

 

“What?” he asked aloud, refusing to let her sway him into a false sense of security.

“What?” Anya repeated, confused by his reaction.

“Nothing!” Xander relaxed slightly. At least she was frowning again.

“Men!” Anya muttered under her breath.

 

Giles entered the living room carrying a tea tray. “You’re here because I have something important to talk to you all about.” He set the tray down on the table and poured the three of them some tea.

“All?” Xander asked reaching for the plate of biscuits, and noting that there were only five cups. All usually meant seven.

“Yes, the three of us; Willow and Tara.”

 

Giles had spent most of last night trying to set his mind straight about Beth’s revelations. He had reconciled himself to the fact that Spike was in love with Buffy. It didn’t really surprise him all that much, now he’d had a chance to think about it. What was actually bothering him was the fact that it wasn’t bothering him. Buffy should not have relationships with vampires. Hadn’t their whole experience with Angel taught them anything? But the more he considered it the more he came to the conclusion that Beth was right about Spike. He was different. Amazingly so. The previous night he had spent thinking about their past encounters with the vampire and he noticed a pattern where Buffy was concerned. He fought her. Time and time again. And he continued to come back for more, even after leaving town. But he’d never killed her. And Giles really didn’t believe it was because he couldn’t.

 

More and more his mind turned to Spike’s behaviour under that spell of Willow’s. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to marry Buffy, maybe he hadn’t even been in love with her then, but the spell hadn’t caused a change in character. Just a glimpse of what it would be like. Sickening, had been Giles’ initial reaction. But when he thought about it, Spike had done everything Buffy asked of him, anything to make her happy. He’d looked after Giles and curbed his annoyance with Xander. And merely the fact that he and Buffy had fought almost non-stop when they weren’t kissing, made Giles consider it the healthiest relationship she’d ever had. Buffy never fought with her boyfriends. They all seemed to worship her. And Giles thought that, deep down, Buffy didn’t want to be worshiped; just loved.

 

So now he was preparing to broach the subject with the rest of the Scooby gang. He had promised Beth he wouldn’t tell anyone about Spike’s feelings, but he needed to know if they would be receptive to the idea. That was what this meeting was about. Finding out what they thought, without actually saying anything that would give the game away, so to speak. He already had an idea what their reactions would be. Willow wouldn’t mind a bit if it made Buffy happy; Tara wouldn’t mind if Willow didn’t; Anya wouldn’t care either way and Xander would be dead against it. There he’d done it all and Willow and Tara were just arriving.

 

‘But she’s with Riley, idiot. Don’t you think her feelings ought to be considered?’ Giles grimaced and Willow looked anxiously at him, as she and Tara sat next to Xander and Anya on the couch. Giles smiled at them and poured them some tea while they chatted amongst themselves.

 

He didn’t like Riley. He didn’t know why. It was totally irrational. He just didn’t. And try as he might, he couldn’t hate Spike, so there was really no question in the matter.

 

**********************

 

Buffy saw her in the distance and stopped dead. She couldn’t believe it. Of all the people Buffy had hoped never to see again, she had to be at the top of the list. Yet there she was. Calmly sitting in the middle of the smallest of Sunnydale’s 12 cemeteries; having a tea party with her favourite doll.

 

Drusilla sensed Buffy’s approach and turned her head to look directly at her. She smiled a sweet and innocent smile; the statement belying the heartless killer within.

“Would you like to join us Buffy? Miss Edith thinks we should all try to keep our strength up.”

“Amazing,” Buffy replied coolly. “I’ve always been surprised by the intellectual capacity of that doll. Seeing as how she’s made of china and is completely inanimate.”

Dru’s eyes narrowed but she didn’t respond in any form. She merely poured some imaginary tea into one of the small china teacups and then proffered it for Buffy.

 

Buffy was confused. She had never actually fought Drusilla before. Never spent much time with her at all in fact. However, she had always imagined that, if they were ever to meet up again, they’d renew their acquaintance by beating the crap out of each other; not by playing make-believe in the bloody graveyard. ‘Great,’ Buffy thought, ‘Now the two of them are corrupting my speech patterns.’

 

Buffy took the cup cautiously and set it down on top of the nearest headstone.

“What are you doing here Dru?” Buffy really didn’t want to hear the answer to that one, but the Wicked Witch of the West had to be there for some nefarious reason.

 

“Do you have dreams Buffy? I have the strangest dreams sometimes. Just before I left the last time, I had a dream that you sent my Spike to hell and I was afraid. But I knew what that dream meant. Last week I dreamt about three beautiful blonde children, two boys and a girl; they were fighting at my feet, pulling on my dress. Do you know what that meant Buffy? I just realised a few days ago. Do you know how it ended? One of the boys killed the other and the girl couldn’t do anything to stop it. Isn’t that sad?”

 

Buffy stared at Drusilla, thankful that she hadn’t had many conversations with her. She’d be completely barking by now otherwise. She wondered how Spike had managed to put up with her ravings for 120 years, and not gone totally off the deep end. Though this did explain some of his cynicism, sarcasm and the amazing patience he showed towards her and her friends. It also explained why he’d eventually come to her looking for help. 6 months stuck in a wheelchair with only Drusilla and Angelus for company? He must have been catatonic. But it also proved that he had loved her.

 

“What are you talking about?”

“He is in hell, isn’t he? Now?” Drusilla asked, staring wide-eyed at Buffy, making her feel uncomfortable.

“Who? Spike? No he’s here. In Sunnydale.”

“But you’ve created hell on Earth just for him. He won’t be happy about that.”

“Well no he’s not happy really, but look that isn’t my fault. You’re the one who left him for a scabby fungus-demon; the Initiative put that chip in his head. I think I’ve been damn good to him, considering he’s an evil vampire, who’s tried to kill me time and time again!”

 

“But it is your fault Buffy,” Drusilla suddenly became chillingly serious. “Spike wouldn’t care about all of that if ‘e had his heart’s desire. Do you know how long I’ve known about it? Longer than ‘im. Do you really think I stopped loving ‘im? That I left ‘im because of his little truce with you? Not the man I loved; ‘course he was. That truce just proved what I’d known all along, and it was easier for me to leave than for ‘im to admit it to ‘imself.”

“Admit what?” Buffy was interested. She still didn’t see what any of this had to do with her.

“That he loves you.”

 

*****************************

 

Beth was fuming. She had spent the better part of last night and all of today nursing Spike. He still hadn’t regained full consciousness. He’d been in a fitful state throughout the night, the cries from his dreams telling her more than any previous conversation. At first she had been worried, as Spike should really have come around sooner. Then she discovered the needle. She’d gone back to the scene, trying to find a clue to the identity of Spike’s attacker, as he couldn’t tell her himself, and she’d found the used needle lying on the ground. The human must have drugged him. And considering the strength and vigour of vampires, it must have been very powerful. And dangerous.

 

Once Spike had seemed to settle down, Beth had left him to have a smoke. She stood outside the crypt, mechanically smoking the cigarette, replaying the previous couple of days in her head. Was it only yesterday that she had been to see Giles? Maybe she should go and see him again. He might be able to help her. Might give her some clue to the assailant. And even if he couldn’t, she really should tell him about Drusilla. Beth pulled the door to the crypt closed quietly and made her way quickly in the direction of Giles’ apartment.

 

*********************

 

“Um, well, since the arrival of Spike’s sister, I’ve been thinking a lot about… well you know, about the two of them, and Spike most especially. What I think I really wanted to know was, um, well… how you all felt about having Spike around now. He, uh, would be a useful ally if we could get him to…”

 

“Ally? Spike? The guy who’s been this close to killing me more than once? And not just me, Buffy and Willow, and everyone on Earth. Aren’t we forgetting he’s a vampire?” Xander was indignant. Didn’t they have enough help now?

“But he can’t hurt anyone right?” Tara commented quietly. “Maybe he could change.” She blushed as everyone looked at her and Willow reached for her hand.

“She’s right. Maybe if we gave him a soul…”

“No that’s out of the question.” Giles inserted quickly before Willow started planning her shopping list for the restoration spell. The four teenagers looked at him curiously. “No, I insist. I’ve thought it over and there are more reasons against than for in this case. Look you’ll just have to trust me.”

Willow smiled at him. “We do trust you Giles. Ok no soul spell, but I still think he could do some good you know, if we, uh…” She trailed off unable to think of what they could possibly do to make Spike join with them. She looked to Giles for the answer, but he was studiously avoiding her gaze.

 

“I like him.” Anya stated simply. Xander choked on his tea and looked sharply at her, as if she’d grown a second head. “What? I do. He’s funny and nice looking, and he understands what it’s like to be me. Why shouldn’t I like him?”

“Because he’s an vicious demon who takes incredible pleasure in draining the blood of mortals like you and me.” He turned to look at Willow and Tara. “And just because he’s has that thing in his head now doesn’t mean he’s changed his eating habits for life. We all thought Angel had gone on the permanent human free diet until he started killing everyone we knew.”

Willow frowned, “But…”

“No he’s a demon. Demons don’t change!”

 

The room was silent. Everyone stared at Xander. What had he just said?

‘Oh no. Tell me I didn’t say that,’ his mind cried out desperately.

“Demons don’t change?” Anya’s quiet question cut through the tension like a knife. “You know Xander I’m beginning to think you’re prejudiced. I don’t think I want to date someone who can’t see past the demon. And I especially know I don’t want to sleep with one.” Anya stood up proudly and turned to Giles. “Maybe I could give Spike a reason to join us.” Xander started to sputter. “And if he doesn’t want my body, I’ll give him Xander’s head on a plate.” She walked regally out of the apartment, silently daring Xander to come after her.

 

Xander flopped down onto the couch and covered his eyes with his hands. Why had he done that? Why had he said that? ‘Because that’s how you really feel, moron. You just don’t remember Anya was a demon before you open your mouth.’ Xander groaned. He was really going to have to start thinking things through before he said them.

 

Willow patted Xander’s knee, not wholly worried by his and Anya’s argument. They were like this. Fight and make up, fight and make up. It seemed to work for them, so Willow was not going to interfere. She turned back to Giles. “I think we should give him a go, you know, like a trial run. Then if we feel uncomfortable, or he feels uncomfortable we can stop before it goes too far.”

 

Giles nodded. He had all the answers he needed. They were pretty much what he had expected. Though what this meant in terms of Buffy and Spike he really didn’t know.

“Yes, thank you Willow, that sounds like an excellent suggestion. Well, I’ll try and talk to him about it. Xander,” he asked the brunette who was still groaning quietly at his foolishness “…is this going to be alright with you?”

Xander didn’t remove his arms from his head; merely rocked his whole body forward and back where he sat.

“I’ll take that as a yes then.”

 

************************************

 

Giles was at his desk, trying to sort through the piles of demon books and vampire lore that were scattered over it. Xander had left soon after Anya to try and apologise for his comments, and Willow and Tara were now sitting snuggled on the couch, reading through one of their spell books. The brusque knock at the door jarred them all from their pursuits.

 

As soon as Giles had opened the door Beth ran in shaking with suppressed fury. Willow and Tara jumped up from where they sat, each brandishing crosses. Beth was staring at them, trying to regain her composure when Willow spoke.

“Um, I just realised that you got in here without being invited, and vampires can’t do that, so Giles, do you wanna tell us how she did that?”

“How do you know I’m a vampire?” Beth asked the redhead. This must be Willow the Witch.

“Well, apart from Buffy’s startlingly accurate description… there’s a picture in that book over there.” Willow nodded towards the desk. Beth looked across at Giles and raised her eyebrows enquiringly.

“Be my guest,” he said simply and handed her the correct volume.

 

The thought of seeing her face for the first time in 120 years momentarily pushed the thoughts of Spike and the

attack out of her mind. She found the page quickly and stared at the photograph amazed. She’d forgotten a lot about herself. She shut the book, determined not to feel a loss at not being able to see her face reflected at any time, and turned back to Willow.

 

“Well, you know who I am, and I know who you are, so there’s no need for the niceties is there.” She turned to Giles, “Someone attacked Spike!”

“What?!” The three humans gaped at the vampire.

“A human. I don’t know who he was. About 6’2”, muscular, in some kind of combat outfit, blonde hair…” Beth didn’t really know what else to add. Apart from the obvious stuff, the guy was pretty non-descript.

“And he attacked Spike?” Giles had a fairly good idea of the identity of the man, but if he told Beth, would her

vow not to kill humans stand up to the pressure?

 

“That sounds like Riley,” Willow interrupted. “But why would Riley… well apart from the fact that he hates

Spike?”

“Riley? Buffy’s boyfriend Riley?” Beth was now smiling at Willow. If this was true she was going to be able to

kill two birds with one stone. ‘Or more precisely, solve two problems by killing one man.’ Things were looking up.

 

Giles knew exactly what Beth was thinking. “Now we don’t know for sure it was Riley. Why don’t you let us talk to him Beth? Find out if it was he, before sending someone to… I mean, before you hurt him unnecessarily.”

Beth could see Giles was not going to let her kill the human. Still there were other problems to be faced. “Um, there’s some more bad news I’m afraid. Drusilla’s here. She said something about having the world.” Giles and Willow shared a look. “But that’s not the worst. She uh, mentioned Angelus, so I rang the office in LA, but the nice girl on the telephone said that he was missing. So I asked her if Dru had been there and she said that both Dru and Darla had been in LA but had left about two weeks ago. Giles, I think they’ve turned Angel.”

 

*****************************

 

Buffy sat in the graveyard where Dru had left her over an hour ago. She had barley moved in that time, merely sinking to the ground once Dru was out of sight, after she had dropped her bombshell. There was no way it could be true? Could it?

 

‘Of course not, she’s messing with your mind! It’s all she truly knows. And she’s always blamed you for her break-up with Spike, even though it was all her fault, crazy ho!’

 

No. No way.

 

‘But you wish it was,’

“No of course not.” She said aloud. “It’s Spike!”

‘Mmm, yes Spike. Remember? Spike hair, Spike hands, Spike shoulders, Spike arms, Spike lips!’

“God, get a hold of yourself girl!”

 

“Buffy?” She was startled from her reverie by the arrival of a very flustered Giles and the vampire she now knew to be Spike’s sister.

“Giles? What’s wrong? What’s she doing here?” He had told her to stay away from the woman. What was he doing bringing her on patrol?

“Calm down Slayer,” the beautiful redhead spoke derisively, “I’m here to help.”

Buffy was rapidly approaching boiling point. “Giles?!”

 

Giles thought it was best to concentrate on the problem at hand and leave the explanations until later. ‘When you’ve had a chance to think up an excuse.’

“Beth says she saw Drusilla last night. She’ s worried that…”

“Yes I’ve just seen her. She’s getting worse, Giles!” Buffy turned to Beth, determined to regain her control around one of these vampires. “Last night? You took your time in telling us didn’t you?”

Beth was certainly not in the mood to be insulted by this chit of a girl. “Well Miss Summers, I had more important things on my mind, once your boy-toy had finished attacking my brother.”

“Beth,” Giles said warningly. This really wasn’t the time to get into that. Damn Riley!

 

“Riley? He attacked Spike?” Buffy was stunned. He had said time and time again that he didn’t like Spike, that he should be killed like the rest of the vampires they fought, but she had never really expected him to do anything to hurt Spike. Not as she had explained her reasons for keeping him around.

 

“We don’t know that for sure Buffy. From the description…”

“It seems pretty likely.” Beth was not to be put off. She really wanted to be the one to tell Buffy about her perfect boyfriend. “So, are you going to tell him off for beating and drugging my brother? Or are you just going to shake your head and forget all about it, ‘cause Riley’s the good guy and Spike’s the bad guy? Which automatically means that Spike was in the wrong, doesn’t it?”

“No of course not.” Buffy spoke quietly, her mind racing. “Is he ok? Spike I mean?”

 

Before Beth could answer, Giles interrupted quickly. “Beth. Isn’t there something else you want to share with Buffy?”

Beth sighed Giles was right. There were more important things to deal with. “Angel,” Beth said simply, “He’s missing.”

Buffy’s eyes widened. “Missing? What do you mean missing? How can he be missing?”

“Well, that’s the part that’s worse.”

“Worse?” Buffy frowned. “What could be worse?”

 

*************************************

 

Angelus paced up and down the burnt out shell of the room that had once been the main congregational area of the factory, where Spike and Drusilla had lived when they first arrived in Sunnydale. He was restless, annoyed and anxious to get on with the plan Drusilla and Darla had so carefully laid out.

 

They had performed the soul-revoking spell in LA before bringing Angelus and their human insurance to Sunnydale. Angelus smiled cruelly. His girls really had thought of everything. There was really no way it could fail. He knew better than anyone that Buffy would never knowingly put defenceless humans in danger.

 

Not that the two chained to what was left of the wall were defenceless, far from it. But at that moment there was no way for them to escape, and when the time came, Angelus knew that Buffy wouldn’t take the chance. She’d just have to sit back and wait for an opening. There wasn’t going to be an opening.

 

As Angelus approached the two battered figures at the far side of the room, the two humans tried to stand a little straighter, unwilling to give in and show weakness to this tyrant. He moved up in front of the girl and pulled her head back so that she was looking up at him.

 

“You know, I think it’ll give me the greatest pleasure of my unlife to kill you, my sweet.” The girl flinched as he kissed her hard; angrily, lustfully, with no trace of compassion or love. But she refused to cry.

“I hate you!” She spoke determinedly, dredging up every last drop of anger and frustration and resentment that had been building within her for almost 19 years.

 

“Ah, but you see, I know you don’t baby. I know that you want me, even now, even like this. And tonight, before I kill you, I’m going to make you admit it.” He lent down and bit into her neck, drawing the blood that tasted sweetest of all. The blood of a Slayer.

 

Faith did not cry out at the pain; would not let the tears which had been threatening, fall. She was not going to give in. Not to this. Not ever.

 

**********************************

 

Part Three

 

Buffy, Giles, Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya sat in Giles’ small living room trying to piece together what had happened from the facts, as they knew them. And as they didn’t know all that much, the meeting rapidly turned into a fight; their fear and confusion putting everyone on edge.

 

Willow had actually started it by asking Tara to go to the magic shop for supplies for the restoration spell. Xander had said something about finally killing Angel once and for all, so that this wouldn’t keep happening, which had caused Buffy, whose mind was raging furiously at the events of the last few days and her own confused feelings, to lose control of her temper.

 

The argument between the two friends became decidedly worse when Anya, who was still smarting from Xander’s earlier comments, took Buffy’s side. Willow and Tara sat uncomfortably throughout, while Giles tried his best to ignore the whole proceeding by fixing himself a stiff drink. Finally however, he couldn’t take it any longer.

 

“Look! Could the three of you, please, just shut up! We have serious problems to deal with here and all this squabbling isn’t going to get us anywhere. Now, we don’t know for certain about Angel and until we do I think it would be best for all of us if we stayed calm. Right, I think it would be wise if we all…” He trailed off and glanced around the room. “Where’s Riley?”

Willow whimpered slightly. “The locator spell didn’t work. It was as though something was stopping him from being found.”

Giles rubbed a hand over his face. “Well, if it is true about Angel, it may be best if he weren’t here. They didn’t exactly hit it off the last time.”

“Understatement!” Anya inserted. “If Angelus is returned he’ll very likely hit Riley’s head off a few walls. You know, before killing him.”

 

“Giles?” The shout came from outside, making them all jump.

“Cordelia?” Giles called back as he went to answer the door.

Cordelia and Wesley moved into the apartment as soon as Giles opened the door. They both looked agitated and tired, as if they hadn’t slept for a week.

Wesley turned to Giles. “Angel.. he’s been turned.”

“Are you sure? We heard..”

“We’re sure ok?” Cordelia interrupted. “He rang us a couple of hours ago. He said he’s here in Sunnydale and that we should be quick if we wanted to say goodbye to our friends. Now Willow, do the spell, then we’ll find Angel and go home. Ok? Hurry. Why aren’t you hurrying?”

 

“He’s here?” Buffy wasn’t looking forward to this. Maybe the spell was their best option. “Is that all he said?”

“He said we should go to the Bronze, so I’m thinking he’s got something special planned.”

“The Bronze?” Buffy was already rummaging through Giles’ weapons chest. “Let’s go!”

 

***************************

 

Buffy and Willow sat at a table in the Bronze waiting for something to happen. This was the part that was always hardest. Fighting came naturally to Buffy. Waiting didn’t. Patience had never been one of her virtues. To take her mind off the impending confrontation with Angel… Angelus… Buffy had decided to talk to Willow about her trouble with Spike. She especially wanted to know what her best friend thought of Drusilla’s disclosure about Spike’s feelings for her.

 

She looked at her friend. Willow looked scared. She had a tight grin plastered on her face, but her eyes betrayed her fear. She was trying to be strong for Buffy. Which meant that Buffy could tell Willow anything. She took a deep breath.

 

“Drusilla said Spike is in love with me!”

Willow choked on her drink. “What? I mean… What?”

“We were in the graveyard and she said that Spike was in hell and it was all my fault ‘cause he loves me. Do you think that’s true?”

Willow looked enquiringly at her friend. “Do you want it to be?”

It was Buffy’s turn to choke. “What do you mean?”

 

“Come on Buffy. Anyone with half a brain can feel how charged the air gets around you two. And yes, a lot of that time it’s been because you wanted to kill each other, but I’ve been starting to wonder recently… you’ve both been acting so strange…”

 

“That’s just it Will, we’ve been acting strange. Ever since he had that thing put in we haven’t been able to take out our frustration out on each other, which just leads to more complications. At least when he was trying to kill me I knew where I stood, now…”

 

“What kind of frustrations?” Willow raised her eyebrows interestedly.

“Willow! Nothing like that, well, I mean, not then, not in the old days.”

“But now?”

“Recently. It’s too long a story to explain it all now, but he did something that made me look at him in a new light, you know? And ever since I’ve been having like these, these…”

“Fantasies?” Willow grinned.

 

Buffy frowned at her friend. “No not.. Well yeah fantasies, but they’re not all sexy stuff.” Buffy defended herself. “Sometimes we’re just talking, or we go for a walk and he holds my hand, or one time, we were dancing, so slowly, we were barely moving, just holding one another.”

“Wow!” Willow breathed. “So this is why you’ve been weird. What about Riley?”

“Riley! Oh God. I feel so guilty sometimes, ‘cause I never feel half the things with Riley that I feel when I’m with Spike. And I know I haven’t been paying much attention to him recently, which makes it all worse. God Will, what am I going to do?”

 

Willow lent over and took Buffy’s hand. “First you’re going to get through tonight. Then you’re going to tell Riley that you think you should break up, and then you’re gonna go talk to Spike. And no matter what happens, no matter what you decide, I’ll be right with you all the way.”

 

*******************************

 

Beth and Spike hurried down the alley to the Bronze. Beth had returned to the crypt after filling Buffy in on the Angel/Drusilla situation, to find her brother up and about. He still wasn’t at full strength, but when she had explained the problem with Angel, he had been determined to help Buffy. Beth had known better than to argue with Spike on the subject of the Slayer. She didn’t know exactly why they were headed to the Bronze, but Spike seemed determined that that was where Angelus, Drusilla and Darla were going to be.

 

They slipped in unobtrusively at the back and made their way up to the first floor gantry where they would have a good view of the whole ground floor area. Spike located Buffy instantly, sitting at a table by the dance floor with Willow, Xander, Anya, Tara, Cordelia, an uncomfortable looking Giles and a blonde man with glasses he didn’t recognize. He heard Beth gasp beside him and turned sharply to look at her. She was staring at the same table, her eyes wide with shock. ‘Wesley,’ he thought, reminding himself to have a good long talk with the man later

 

He scanned the rest of the room, separating the vampires from the humans as he went. It was going to be a hard fight. “Well, bring it on mate.” Spike whispered into the crowd. At least he could fight Angelus. Riley was another matter. He thought again about Buffy’s boyfriend. Spike had never really trusted him. He’d always seemed too good to be true. Now he knew that he was right. But how could he make Buffy see it? She’d never believe anything he had to say about Riley, and even if she did it was going to hurt her terribly.

 

‘But isn’t it better that she finds out now, instead of later?’ he asked himself. ‘What if she really starts to fall for him and then finds out that Captain Cardboard is really King of Creeps? Won’t she feel a thousand times worse?’ Spike stared at Buffy and saw her smile across at her friends. His un-beating heart felt like it was being squeezed by a vice. He’d talk to her later.

 

***************

 

The door to the Bronze was thrown violently open and the three master vampires entered slowly. They walked to the stage, commanding authority and forcing everyone there to turn and watch. The music had stopped. The young adults were expecting trouble. This was Sunnydale. Weird things happened. You accepted it or you went insane. For the few members of the town who neither accepted it nor went insane, this was the moment they had been waiting for the entire night.

 

Buffy looked across at the demon that looked like her former love, and took a deep breath. No backing down. If Angelus wanted a fight he’d get one. And a quick round with Mr. Pointy too. She reached behind her for her trusted stake. She’d have to pick her moment, but this was the last time this was ever going to happen. They couldn’t keep putting people in danger like this.

 

Angelus saw her movement and laughed. “I wouldn’t bother if I were you lover. There’s no way you’ll be using that on me tonight.” He seemed so confident.

 

Spike looked at Beth puzzled, needing to know what ace Angelus felt he had up his sleeve.

 

Buffy looked at Darla, Drusilla and then back at Angelus. They all looked as though this was going to be the final battle, and that Buffy was not to be the victor. She waited. Something was wrong.

 

Angelus raised his hand and four vampires emerged from the back of the back of the room, dragging two unconscious human figures.

 

“Oh my God! Oz!” Willow cried out as the Scooby gang stared in shock at the scene being played out before them. “Faith!” Buffy whispered, as she looked dazed at the battered body of the second Slayer. All of the anger and pain she had carried with her about Faith’s past actions disappeared as she looked at the girl. No one deserved this. Buffy directed all of her anger at the three vampires holding her friends hostage. They were not going to survive this night, even if she died in the process.

 

Spike saw the look of shock on Buffy’s face and the pain she hid by turning her eyes away. Once he would have taken pleasure in her hurt, the demon rejoicing at the thought of her misery. But it had been a long time since he had been able to watch her like this. His anger at his former friends, his former love, grew. Drusilla had planned this on purpose. She wanted to hurt as many people as possible for the supposed wrongs done to her. She was punishing Beth, Buffy and him. Spike had no doubt that Dru planned to kill Buffy herself. ‘Well, there’s no way I’m letting that happen pet,’ he vowed silently to the woman he had worshipped for 100 years. ‘I’ll kill you first!’

 

“You see Buffs,” Angelus was speaking again, “this place is surrounded. If you or any of you little Scoobies attack, they die. It’s really quite simple.”

“Much like you mate,” Spike had had enough of waiting and was making his way slowly down the spiral staircase and across the floor to the three vampires.

 

“Dru,” he nodded at the beautiful vampiress who would always hold a place in his heart, “couldn’t you come up with anything more original? I mean hostages, please! You know what that means. It means that you know the Slayer and her little friends can beat the crap out of you all. Now me… I never take hostages. That makes it harder. More exciting. More fun. But from what I can remember, put the three of you together and you inevitably come up with the easiest and most completely useless plan on this good Earth. I mean look at this.”

 

He reached down and pulled the other Slayer to her feet. “Why would Buff be interested in her? From what I remember she hates her guts. Lesson one when choosing hostages: make sure the person you’re threatening gives a damn!” He pushed Faith in Beth’s direction, reaching inside his duster for a stake.

 

“And Dog-boy here. He’s old news mate. Sabrina got herself a brand new girlfriend. Tch, these modern girls eh? So unpredictable.” He stepped over Oz, putting himself between the enemy and Buffy and her friends. “Wanna fight someone? Fight me!” Spike ducked under his Sire’s fist, kicking his legs out from under him and sending the elder vampire crashing to the ground.

 

As Spike and Angelus fought, Beth attacked Darla, while Buffy turned her attention to Drusilla. The other vampires made their presence known, preparing to do battle to protect their masters. The Scooby gang leapt into action, trying to fight of as many residual vampires as possible. Eventually it was three against three and the scoobies emptied the Bronze of its few remaining patrons.

 

The fight was fast and furious, each pair quite evenly matched. Darla, however, had never been the best fighter, preferring to let the others do the work and Beth quickly had the advantage, her fighting skills learnt from her brother and honed over the years. As Darla foundered under the force of the attack, Beth pulled the stake quickly from her duster and forced it through her heart.

 

Angelus had thought that this would be over quickly, his extra strength making him more than a match for Spike. But he had underestimated Spike’s skill and hadn’t considered the anger that coursed through his Childe. It didn’t matter to Spike anymore whether it was Angel or Angelus standing before him. He hated them both. Angel was the love of Buffy’s life; Angelus had taken Dru, and was, quite frankly, a bastard.

 

As Darla disintegrated, Angelus roared with fury. His concentration was taken from the fight and Spike found an opening. The stake was millimetres from his heart when Spike stopped. His own fury at being unable to kill his Sire after all that he had done to him was immense and he unleashed it in a swift series of kicks and blows. Angelus fell, to the ground.

 

Buffy had the upper hand over Drusilla, the vampiress weakening under the force of the Slayer. Dru would have to do something miraculous to survive this.

“Riley!” Drusilla cried as Buffy raised her stake.

Buffy stopped. “What have you done to him?” Buffy’s voice was low and menacing. Drusilla remained silent. “I said, what have you done to him?” Buffy was panicking.

“Where is he Dru?” Spike stepped closer to his former love.

“My Spike,” she purred turning to him, “I’ll tell you, if you promise me something.”

 

Spike narrowed his eyes, wondering what trick Dru had planned. He looked quickly at the Slayer, her eyes were begging him to co-operate. ‘God she does love him. And this is a trap, and I can’t do anything without hurting her.’ He sighed. “Que sera, sera,” he whispered. “I promise.”

Drusilla smiled brightly. Spike always kept his promises. “You and Beth, stay here with me. If Buffy goes she goes alone. And you have to promise not to try and follow.”

 

Spike looked at Buffy, trying to memorise every inch of her face, as if he didn’t know it all by heart anyway. If he was sending her to her death, he’d never forgive himself. But there seemed to be no other way. “I promise,” he repeated, his eyes remaining fixed on Buffy.

 

Drusilla smiled again. “Well, he’s at home. Tucked up all safe and sound.”

“Home?” Buffy questioned confused.

“The mansion,” Spike clarified. Dru’s happy home with Angelus. ‘What a bitch!’

 

***********************

 

Buffy approached the mansion on Crawford Street and wondered why this was the setting for so many of the most awful experiences of her short life. In fact, apart from being killed by the Master, she couldn’t think of one that hadn’t happened here. And she had no doubt that tonight would add another memorable incident to that list. She hadn’t had time to talk about it with Willow before the others arrived, but the episode between Spike and Riley last night had left her on edge. Spike seemed fine now, but from what Beth had said he had been hurt pretty bad. There was something off about this whole situation. Drusilla had seemed far to eager to send her here. Buffy knew it was a trap.

 

*********************

 

As the Slayer’s friends restrained Drusilla and Angelus, Spike paced the small dance floor of the Bronze, rapidly working his way through not only his cigarettes, but Beth’s as well. Drusilla looked smug. Spike cursed himself, and her, over and over. Sometimes he thought things might have been better if he had never brought Dru here in the first place. If they’d stayed in Europe or gone to South America, how different might life have been?

 

‘Well Dru would still be ill for one thing, mate,’ his demon reminded him. That after all had been their only reason for visiting Sunnyhell. ‘And would that have been so bad?’ he argued back. ‘She needed you, relied on you…’

‘Used you, you daft sod. She may have even been dead by now. In the never to return sense of the word.’ Spike winced. No matter how angry he was at Dru, he’d never wanted her dead. But he knew if she hurt Buffy, he’d kill her himself and the last vestiges of love would be gone forever. Buffy. Another good reason for coming to Sunnydale. She made him feel alive. She had made this hellhole his home. He smiled sadly. Home is where the heart is.

 

*********************

 

Beth stood in the alley behind the Bronze trying to think of a solution to the problems they were facing, but her mind kept drifting back to the young Watcher inside. She hadn’t spoken to him, but she knew he had seen her. She had forgotten the rush of emotion she felt when she looked at him.

 

Wesley stopped at the open door and stared at the beautiful vampiress who was leaning against the wall, slowly smoking the single cigarette left in her possession. It had been 2 and a half years since their un-amicable break-up and Wesley had almost forgotten the affect she had on him. He wished, not for the first time, that he had never said those things to hurt her. Had simply held onto her as tight as he could for as long as was possible. But he couldn’t change the past. Just the future.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said simply as he stepped out into the alley. She turned her head and looked at him. Her eyes burning with love and fear, even after all the time they had spent apart. “Beth I don’t know what to say. Maybe there’s nothing I can say to make to right. I didn’t mean any of it, and I meant to apologise but then I got here, and things were so strange, and the time just seemed to pass faster and faster, which made it harder to call and…”

 

Beth rushed at him, not caring for excuses or needing explanations. If he wanted her, that was all that mattered. “It’s alright,” she soothed as he hugged her close. “We can start again, slower this time. You already know my darkest secret. I have nothing to hide anymore.” She smiled up at him, and he wondered what he had ever done to deserve her.

 

“I think my prejudice has passed,” he said quietly, owning up to the cause of the problems between them. “Working for Angel… well, it was a long time before I forgave him for what he did to you… but now I know you were right… about all vampires not being the same, and I…”

He never got to finish as Beth pulled his head down to hers, and kissed him passionately.

 

**************************

 

Willow, Tara and Giles recited the restoration spell around one of the small tables near the stage. Angelus was trying desperately to pull free of his restraints, growling low in his throat as the Witches and Watcher completed the spell. Xander was taking great pleasure in thumping him over the back of the head every time he struggled, which merely made Angelus grow more determined.

 

“There’s a better spell, you know, luv.” Dru murmured quietly to Spike as he passed by.

“What?” he asked, his eyes flashing dangerously.

“There’s a better spell of restoration. One which cannot be removed, ever.” Drusilla spoke calmly, letting the significance of her disclosure seep into him. If Angel had a soul which could not be removed, then he could be with Buffy, forever.

 

Eventually Angel’s eyes flashed as his soul was once again restored to him. He stopped struggling and looked around confused. “Angel?” Willow asked as she and Giles slowly approached the others gathered round the table. He nodded slowly, and tried to remember what had happened. Why was he tied up like th..?

‘Oh, God! Please no,’ he thought as he took in the fearful faces of his friends.

 

Giles carefully removed the gag from Angel’s mouth and stepped back. “Giles?” Angel asked hoarsely. “What happened? What did I do?”

“Darla and Drusilla performed a spell to take your soul. You were going to try and open the hellmouth.” Giles told him matter-of-factly.

“Darla?” Angel asked, confused, as he spotted Dru tied to another chair.

“She’s dead.” Giles told him, quietly.

 

Angel closed his eyes tightly and willed back the pain that short statement had induced. He had lost her again. Truthfully he had lost her weeks ago, to Drusilla, and more truthfully, he should have killed them both then. But she was his Sire. And even though he had killed her once, for Buffy, he hadn’t wanted to live through it again.

 

“And, Deadboy, there are a couple of people I think you owe apologies too.” Xander was still angry. They always did this. Angel always got let off the hook, because of that soul thing. When was he truly going to pay?

 

Angel looked up at Xander confused. Who had he hurt his time?

 

Xander nodded across to the stage where Tara, Anya and Cordy were tending to an unconscious Oz and a badly beaten Faith. “My God!” Angel whispered.

“He won’t help you this time, my friend.” Xander said quietly, leaning over Angel’s shoulder. “You know you’re going to hell right? Again.”

Angel winced. “Faith.”

 

**********************

 

Drusilla looked up at Spike and smiled coquettishly. She’d soon have him back as her own. The Slayer would be dead, and then she’d have no problem killing all of Buffy’s little friends. Drusilla knew she had acted badly where Spike was concerned. But she did love him in her own way. And hopefully they’d be able to start again, and put everything right.

 

Spike saw the look. After 100 years with her, he knew exactly what she was thinking. She wanted Buffy dead and whatever was going to happen at the mansion was a means to that end. “What have you got planned Dru?” he asked stopping in front of her and staring into her eyes. “How many vamps and demons have you called in favours from? Who’s there waiting for her?” His voice was cold, menacing. Drusilla was scared. She had seen him like this before, but never with her. It usually came right before he rammed a railroad spike through some poor unfortunate’s head. Drusilla knew better than to lie.

 

“There’s no-one there but Riley. I promise you Spike.”

“But Riley’s working for you isn’t he luv.” Spike stated loudly as a few things became clear.

“What?” Giles questioned in a shout, as the others turned their attention to the former lovers’ conversation.

“How did you know?” Dru asked, her childlike eyes, wide with confusion.

“He attacked me, you stupid bint. It wasn’t hard to work out after that!”

“Ah, Spike. Did he hurt you?”

 

Spike paused, Dru’s question taking him back three years. They had been standing in the factory, Spike just returned from his first battle with the Slayer. He had laid his head on Dru’s shoulder and she had told him he’d kill the Slayer in the end. He never had. Dru had lied to him.

 

As that irrational thought surfaced, he realised that Dru had lied to him, over and over, using him because of his devotion to her. And here he was keeping his promises to a woman who only wanted him when it suited her. He turned quickly and marched toward the exit. He had to find Buffy. Had to help her.

 

“She doesn’t love you. She never will.” Dru called to him, as she realised she no longer had any power over him.

Spike stopped and turned in the doorway. The truth would hurt Dru more than any physical violence ever could.

“And neither do you, my pet. But I’d rather die for her.”

 

**************************

 

The rapid healing powers of the Slayer meant that Faith was almost back to normal by the time Spike ran out of the Bronze. She sat quietly on the edge of the stage, refusing to look at anyone. She knew they hated her, knew that she had done nothing, for them to forgive her for her betrayals.

 

She glanced quickly across at Angel. There was one of only two people in the world she had ever trusted. Faith flinched. Now she knew how Buffy had felt when she had lied to Giles about killing the mayor’s aide; when she had joined the mayor and helped him ascend, against her calling, against people who wanted to be her friends; when she had held Willow at knifepoint; when she had slept with Buffy’s boyfriend.

 

‘How could B endure this kind of pain?’ Faith asked herself. How could she keep enduring it, every time Faith had hurt her? Well she hadn’t had she. Eventually she’d stopped giving second chances. Faith didn’t blame her now. Buffy had been her one true friend. ‘And I messed it up, ‘cause I was scared.’

 

Well she was going to make it up to her, just as she knew Angel was going to try and put right what he had done. She walked slowly across to the table where Angel still sat, even though his bonds had been removed. She faced him determinedly, refusing to give up, as he had refused to give up on her.

“It’s ok,” she said as he started to speak. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. Why did everything have to be so hard? “I love you,” she whispered and turned to Giles. She was going to help the other person she trusted with her life.

 

“Weapons?”

 

****************************

 

Buffy stood on the exact spot where she had sent Angel to Hell two and a half years ago, and slowly turned in a circle, her eyes checking every part of the room. She reached out with her Slayer senses, but could not feel the presence of any vampires. That alone made her even more uneasy. If this was a trap, where were the vampires?

 

“Buffy?”

She heard Riley’s voice behind her, and turned to see him standing in the doorway to the conservatory. She was about to run over to him, to make sure he was alright, when her feeling of apprehension grew. He was the trap.

 

“Buffy, I’m so glad you came. The vampire, the woman, she brought me here and…”

“Drusilla, I know.” Buffy wanted to see how involved Riley was in this whole thing. “It’s ok though. I killed her.” Riley flinched. Buffy couldn’t believe it. Her staid, reliable boyfriend had betrayed her… with Drusilla. What was it about that woman that drew all the men in Buffy’s life to her?

 

Buffy thought that this might be the prefect time to tell Riley about her feelings for Spike.

“It hurts being here you know. This place. I killed Angel here.” Riley began to walk slowly across the floor towards her. “I don’t think I could do it again. Kill the man I love, I mean.”

“You’ll never have to worry about that Buffy. I’ll never…”

“What? Oh God Riley. No. I… I mean, I’m sorry, but… Look it’s not you ok, it’s just that Spike is….”

“Spike?! Are you crazy? Did Willow cast another spell?” Riley was furious.

 

“No of course she didn’t. This has nothing to do with spells, or Willow, or Angel, or the fact that you seem to have been shagging Dru…” Buffy’s innate honesty was surfacing along with her anger, and she didn’t realise that she was slipping Spike’s phrases into her speech. She meant every word she said. “I just realised, with the help of one sexy English vampire and an incident with a shotgun, that Spike and me… we’re like two halves of the same whole, you know. He’s knows me better than anyone, better than I know myself, and even though it scares me that I could fall in love with another vampire, I have to see if this thing between us is something more than sex and violence. And that means I can’t be with you anymore Riley. You’re not the one for me. You deserve someone who loves you the way you love them, and if you don’t mind me saying so, I think don’t think that’s Dru. It seems to me that she’s been using you more than…”

 

“You?” Riley was incensed.

“Riley that’s harsh. I thought in time I could come to love you but, even if I didn’t have these feelings for Spike, the fact that you’ve been screwing the person I hate most in all the world, would probably have torn us apart eventually.” Buffy mocked. She had never realised just how self-righteous Riley was until that moment.

 

He hit her. Full force, strength gained from one of Dru’s spells, and she fell to the ground, dazed.

 

**************************

 

Spike arrived in time to hear Buffy’s protestations about being under the influence of a spell, and hid in the shadows of the great hall while he listened to her speak. Had she actually said all of that, or was it just wishful thinking on his part? His smile grew as she turned and he saw the truth in her eyes. Maybe this wasn’t going to be such a bad year after all.

 

Then Riley hit her. When he raised his arm, Spike scoffed at the fool. Surely he knew he couldn’t hurt her. When she fell, Spike’s shock was momentary. His demon emerged, enraged that the human had dared to hurt his Slayer, and he charged at Riley. The two fell to the ground; the battle longer and more bloody than their previous one, but Spike was still weak, and Riley’s power, enhanced.

 

As Riley produced the stake, Buffy jumped up from her stunned position on the ground, and pushed Spike out of the way to fight Riley herself. She didn’t hold back, as she had always done previously and for a moment Riley was shocked at the force. But Dru’s spell made him as strong as his opponent and he fought back furiously.

 

Spike lay on the ground, barely able to move. He needed to help her. When he saw the flash of silver he shouted in terror as it raced towards the Slayer’s body.

 

*******************************

 

Faith stumbled down the conservatory steps and raced into the great hall to see Buffy battling with Riley. For a split-second Faith paused as she remembered her last encounter with him, and shuddered. Then she saw the knife, heard Spike’s cry. Using every ounce of her enhanced Slayer speed, she raced across the room in time to push Buffy out of the path of the knife.

 

Then she fell.

 

The room was silent as its four members took in what had happened. Riley ran.

 

Buffy moved quickly to Faith’s side, shifting the younger Slayer’s body into a more comfortable position. She glanced quickly at Spike who had managed to pull himself to his feet and spoke hurriedly, her voice shaking. “Call 911, she needs an ambulance!”

 

She looked down at Faith, whose face was still bruised from the damage Angelus had inflicted, and ran a comforting hand over her head. “You’re going to be ok, we’re gonna get you to the hospital and you’re gonna be fine.” Buffy said softly through her silent tears.

 

Faith stared up into Buffy’s eyes and then reached for her hand. She knew she wasn’t going to be fine. She knew she would die here. She wasn’t going to die without telling Buffy…

“Look B, you don’t have to kid me ok. We all die, Slayers younger than most, and if one us had to go, I’m glad it was me.”

 

Buffy began to cry in earnest. “Don’t talk like that,” she said through clenched teeth. “Don’t say those things. You are not going to die. I won’t let you.”

Faith smiled. “You can’t stop it. Sometime it’s just gotta beat you.”

Buffy shook her head. This couldn’t be happening.

 

“I’m glad I came here. I’m glad I met you.” Faith couldn’t feel her body, couldn’t see anything except Buffy’s eyes. She had to finish. “I’m sorry.” She whispered, and Buffy hugged her close. “I love you, please, you have to know that. You were like my sister. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”

“I love you too,” Buffy whispered close to Faith’s ear. “You don’t have to be sorry anymore. You’re my sister and I love you.”

 

Faith smiled up at Buffy. She finally felt free. The guilt and resentment she had felt for 19 years left her as her heroine forgave her. “Tell the other’s I’m sorry.” Faith began to convulse as violent coughs wracked her body. Buffy held her the whole time, trying to soothe and settle her. Faith felt at peace. “And tell Angel thank you, please.”

 

“I promise.” Buffy was praying for the ambulance. She knew there wasn’t much time left.

“Buffy…” Faith whispered, and Buffy slowly lowered her head and softly kissed the other Slayer’s lips as Faith breathed her last breath.

 

*****************************

 

Buffy knelt crying, as she had on this spot two and a half years ago; once again mourning the loss of someone she loved. She silently rocked Faith’s limp body back and forth as memories began to flood into her mind.

 

She felt the soft touch on her shoulder and leaned back against the solid body. Spike turned her gently in his arms and held her as the tears coursed from her body.

 

*****************************

 

 

Part 4

 

Cordelia rubbed the antiseptic pad over one of the cuts Spike had inflicted on Angel’s handsome features. He winced and she smirked, her eyes twinkling. “Well it serves you right. I told you those two were going to cause nothing but trouble, but did you listen? And now I think I have the perfect right to say I told you so.”

Angel dropped his eyes to the floor. She was right. He should have dusted them both weeks ago. This was all his fault. He shouldn’t be so stupidly sentimental. “Thanks Cor.” Still she was supposed to be on his side.

“Your welcome,” she replied brightly, ignoring the sarcasm. “Is now a good time to discuss my raise?”

 

Angel met her eyes once more, a frown marring his forehead. “Cordelia…”

“’Cause I was thinking that it would be a good way to stop this happening, you know, like, every time you go all Grrr, you give Wes and me a raise. Well me, at least. That way you might think before you…”

 

“Brutally torture and murder one of your friends?” Xander was nowhere near calming down.

“Gee Xander, why don’t you try getting a life before you start passing judgement on other people’s?”

“Well Cor, at least I don’t have to resort to working for the undead just so I can continue to dress in trashy hooker wear.”

 

“You’re doing it again,” Anya interrupted.

“Doing what?” Xander turned, mystified, to his girlfriend.

“Behaving as though all demons are the same. Angel and Angelus are two completely different entities who share the same body. Why does no-one remember that?” Anya defended.

“Here, here,” Beth concurred as she and Wesley entered the Bronze.

 

“Why are you taking his side?” Xander still couldn’t believe Anya was doing this.

“Does it matter? I’m right. And even if Angelus did do some pretty horrendous things, he was an evil, soulless demon. What did you expect? Now, you seem to take Riley’s side more often than not, and he’s a good guy remember, with a fully functioning soul and conscience. So why is he going to betray Buffy and try to kill her?” Anya was 100% serious. She really didn’t like Xander when he got like this.

 

Xander was quiet. There was nothing to say. She was right. His 1120-year-old girlfriend had taken one minute to explain what Buffy and Willow had been trying to teach him for four and a half years. He didn’t like vampires. He didn’t think he ever would. Vampires had taken one of his best friends. Had taken Jesse without even a goodbye. But it was time to move on. He couldn’t keep punishing them for something he had never had any control over. Bad things happened. Evil did good; good did evil. Angel was not Angelus; Spike and Beth had proved themselves here tonight. They were not all the same. He pulled Anya into his arms and hugged her. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. Anya smiled.

 

******************************

 

Willow knelt on the stage next to the body of her former boyfriend praying. She was praying to the goddesses, who helped her in her spells; praying to the God she had believed in all her young life. Nothing seemed to be working, but she would not give up. Oz was breathing shallowly, but had had not regained full consciousness. She wished rather ironically that he was here for her to talk to about this. Oz was her rock, her centre. He calmed her. She loved him. She always would.

 

Tara watched Willow from her position in front of the stage. She felt removed from the activities of the Slayerettes and was once again worried by the arrival of Willow’s former love. Tara smiled sadly. Willow needed to be happy. If she wanted Oz, then Tara wouldn’t stand in her way.

 

As if reading her thoughts, Willow turned her head to look at her girlfriend. She smiled as Tara looked shyly back at her, and motioned for her to join her on the stage. Tara ran up and sat opposite Willow, and they joined hands over Oz’s body. Their whispered words of supplication to the goddesses were finally heard, and Oz awoke.

 

“Willow?” He looked at the beautiful girl before him, and wondered how he had ever been able to leave her.

“Oz. You’re ok?” Willow’s smile lit up the whole room.

“Well, I hurt. But yeah.” He pushed himself up into a sitting position and stared at Willow. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” She stared back, sharing a special moment that only two people who had once been so in love could share. They broke eye contact at the same time; each realising that things had changed between them. They would always love each other, but they could not be together, no longer needing each other in that way.

 

Oz turned to Tara. “Thank you.”

“Uh… No, uh, no problem,” she said shyly as Oz smiled at her.

Willow reached over and took Tara’s hand, once again reassuring her that she was the one Willow wanted to be with. The two witches helped the werewolf to his feet, and the three moved to join the rest of the group.

 

*************************

 

Beth’s mobile phone began to ring, startling the 11 people seated within Giles’ small living room. Drusilla was tied to a chair next to Giles’ desk, much the same as Spike had been a year ago; Oz was resting on the couch, Willow seated next to him, holding desperately onto his hand, while Tara crouched beside them on the floor. Xander sat in the armchair by the window, Anya perched happily on his knee, while Giles sat opposite in the hard wooden chair, pouring various cups of tea and coffee, combined with copious amounts of alcohol. Angel, Cordy, Wesley and Beth were sat next to the stairs, Cordelia complaining every now and then about uncomfortable furniture and the need for Watcher’s to have larger homes, just for occasions such as this.

 

Beth felt a huge weight lifted from her shoulders when she heard her brother’s voice.

“Spike where are you?”

The other 10 individuals stared at her, all desperate for news of Buffy.

“Where?! The hospital?” Beth shot a pained glance at Giles as he jumped from his chair and hurriedly put on his coat. Willow and Xander were already at the door when she spoke again.

“Yes… No, that’s ok, I’ll tell them… Home… No that’s fine my darling. See you later.” Beth put the phone away and turned to the others waiting by the door. “Buffy’s fine. Spike’s taking her home to rest. He said he didn’t think anyone should go see her ‘til tomorrow.”

 

As Willow and Xander opened their mouths to protest, Beth continued, her gaze moving to rest on Angel.

“The other Slayer… Riley killed her.”

 

The room was silent as the information that Faith was dead sunk in.

 

Xander was in shock. Faith. The first woman he had ever… Dead. Faith. Dead.

 

Willow began to cry, silent tears pouring down her cheeks. “No, no, no,” she repeated quietly over and over. Faith couldn’t be dead.

 

Giles pulled Willow gently into his arms to comfort her as she wept, the news hitting him like a blow to the head. “Oh, Faith. Rest peacefully,” he murmured.

 

Wesley couldn’t move. He couldn’t feel his limbs. His Slayer. The one who had tied him up and tortured him. She was dead, gone. He shook his head, refusing to believe that beautiful, vibrant Faith was no longer there.

 

Cordy stared at Beth. “Dead?” she asked harshly. “She can’t be dead. Not Faith. She’s a survivor, she can’t die, Wesley tell her. Angel…” Wesley hugged Cordelia to him, as she started to shake.

 

Angel stared blankly at the floor. Faith. His Faith. She was dead. Pain coursed through him. He had never felt this bad, not since he had left Buffy a year and a half ago. After all he’d done to her as Angelus, he’d never be able to apologize. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly. She’d said she loved him. He’d never be able to say it back.

 

****************************

 

Spike opened the door to the Summers’ house and guided Buffy softly through into the kitchen. She sat down at the counter blindly when he told her, her brain acting automatically, unable to take anything in. He moved through the kitchen cupboards with the familiarity of a man who’d spent three weeks watching the woman the he loved from a distance and exploring her house when she was unavailable to gaze upon.

 

He remembered the last time he had sat in this kitchen as a guest. Joyce had made him hot chocolate with little marshmallows. They were in this cupboard if he remembered rightly. Spike made the beverage in silence, glancing at Buffy in concern every couple of minutes. She hadn’t said a word since Faith had died.

 

He placed the steaming cup of chocolate down in front of her as he sat down next to her. He removed his coat and laid it carefully over the counter, then began to quietly drink from his own mug. He didn’t need to say anything; knew she wouldn’t thank him for meaningless platitudes. He was quite happy just to sit here next to her and wait. She needed looking after. He smiled down into his cup. He sounded old. ‘You are old, moron,’ his mind called and he started to chuckle.

 

Buffy looked up at Spike, startled that he was quietly laughing to himself. She couldn’t see that there was anything funny about this night’s events. “Happy are you? Another Slayer dead, so lets all have a party?” Buffy was angry. Not just with Spike, but also with herself, with Riley, with Drusilla. Faith was dead, and they had all contributed. She started to hit him, needing to lash out, knowing he wouldn’t back away.

 

Her small, strong fists, hit his shoulders and chest as he turned to face her. He took every one without comment, and rejoiced in each of them. Buffy was a fighter. She’d never let this beat her; never let anything beat her. When she seemed to tire, he pulled her to him again, cradling her as he’d longed to do for three months. ‘Years!’ his demon clarified. She sobbed into his chest, her tears soaking his black t-shirt and red silk shirt. He whispered inanities into her hair, trying to soothe her.

 

When she finally calmed she stayed within the confines of his arms, feeling safe and protected. She turned her head up slightly to look at him and he swore his heart started to pound. “I’m not happy love. Slayer or not, I’m sorry about your friend.” His voice sounded strange to his own ears and he wondered if she could tell what she was doing to him.

 

She smiled slightly in a silent thank you, and closed her eyes. As her breathing became steady, Spike lifted her gently in his arms and carried her upstairs to her bedroom. As he placed her tenderly on the bed he grinned as his mind went over all the possible ways he had considered being in this room with Buffy. Not one of them involved him pulling the cover over her fully clothed form, pulling the blinds so that she wouldn’t wake to find a pile of ash at the side of her bed, and sitting quietly beside her in the wicker chair watching her sleep.

 

*********************************

 

Faith couldn’t see anything. Then she could see light. White light all around her. She felt like she was floating. She turned around trying to find something to focus on, but she was alone. There was nothing. Then there was something. A person, a man walking slowly towards her.

 

“Faith,” he greeted as he drew near. “Welcome.”

“Welcome, where?” Faith questioned. “Is this heaven? Doesn’t look like hell.”

“You suffered enough for any wrongdoing you may have done in past,” the man told her. “But your destiny is not to end here. Your life is entwined with two others. There are things left for you to do.”

“So, what, I’m sent back to Earth to do three good deeds before they open the pearly gates for me?”

 

“Not quite. You are dead Faith. None of us can change that. But your destiny is not to die.”

“My destiny?” This conversation was becoming stranger by the minute. “My destiny was Vampire Slayer, pal. Destiny’s done.”

“That is not so Faith. Buffy Summers is the Vampire Slayer, neither you nor Kendra were meant to be called.”

“Hey, it wasn’t my fault B died, ok. You go talk to your people if that’s what’s rattlin’ your chains.”

 

“When Kendra died, we realised this was not her destiny. You have been chosen.”

“Again? Can I ask, when you’ve got the whole world to choose from, why do you keep coming back to me?”

“It’s your destiny.”

“Enough with the destiny crap ok. Just tell me what I’ve gotta do.”

 

“You are a Guardian, Faith. That is your true calling. No other Slayers will be called. You are Miss Summers’ Guardian. The search has ended.”

“Guardian?” Faith was reeling from the knowledge that she had never been meant to fight vampires, was called for a purpose other than that which had been her life.

 

“Each entity on Earth has a Guardian. They help to guide the being through life, helping, advising. Like Pinocchio had Jiminy Cricket.” The man smiled at Faith, glad he had conjured an image she could relate to.

“Like a conscience?”

“Not quite. Demons and vampires have Guardians too. They all have a place and purpose in the world.”

“So I’m B’s Guardian. Why me? Why hasn’t she had one for the past 19 plus years?”

“A major event must trigger the Guardian. We assumed that Kendra would be Buffy’s Guardian because of the events surrounding her death. Buffy’s relationship with the vampire, Angel. Sending him to hell was a defining point in her life. When Kendra was not activated as Guardian, another Slayer, you Faith, was sent to protect Miss Summers.”

 

Faith winced. “I didn’t do a very good job.”

“You did in the end Faith. Now you have been approved as Buffy’s Guardian you must go to her. She will need your help in the coming weeks, as she must face an event more life-changing than sending her lover to everlasting damnation.”

“Can she see me?”

“The Slayer and her friends will be able to see and hear you for the first few weeks only, the energy from the hellmouth will undoubtedly help. Once the event has passed, she will not be able to see you, you will be merely a presence in her mind.”

 

“You said my life was bound to two people.” Faith was struggling with all of this information.

“The vampire Angel, he holds your heart, does he not?”

Faith blushed.

“If Buffy sets you free, you will be bound to Angel for eternity.”

“As a Guardian?”

“As a ghost.”

 

***********************************

 

Xander and Willow approached Buffy’s house slowly. Dawn was just breaking and even though it was only a couple of hours since they had heard the news about Faith, the two friends had been unable to wait too long before going to see Buffy. They walked hand in hand up the porch steps, clinging to each other for comfort. Neither of them had been able to make any sort of peace with Faith, and they hoped Buffy had. They were worried about their friend. Buffy had had a weird and emotional couple of days, and she needed rest.

 

Willow knocked quietly, not wanting to disturb her best friend if she was asleep. Xander leant against the doorframe, his eyes closed, wishing he’d had one minute to tell Faith that he forgave her. A minute passed and the pair decided that Buffy must be in bed. As they started down the stairs again the door swung open. The two best friends looked at each other and then approached the house warily. No one stood in the doorway.

 

Willow was the first to realise that Spike must have stayed with Buffy. Her friend’s revelations about the blonde vampire’s feelings had not come as such a great surprise. In fact she had been more shocked that Buffy seemed to be in total ignorance of the fact that the undead Englishman was hopelessly in love with her.

 

She entered the house resolutely, Xander following nervously behind. She turned towards the living room and saw Spike diligently avoiding the sunlight beaming through the windows. She smiled, reassuring him that she was pleased he was there; glad he was helping her friend.

 

Xander had no idea about Spike’s feelings for Buffy or her growing feelings in return and was surprised that Spike had stayed to make sure that Buffy was ok. “What are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you have crawled back to your rock by now?”

“Xander!” Willow elbowed her friend in the side. Spike had tried to save Buffy, had saved her for all they knew, so she didn’t think that this was the best time for Xander to become protective and judgemental.

 

“You know Harris, we’re all having a really bad day, and if you say one more thing I don’t like, I’m going to tear your arms and legs off, pain or no pain.” Spike really wasn’t in the mood for the Whelp’s sarcastic statements. He wished he hadn’t bothered to let them in now. But Buffy would want to see them, and even though he selfishly wanted to keep her to himself, she needed Willow and Xander, and he was not going to get in the way.

 

“Spike, uh, how’s Buffy?” Willow asked quickly, desperate for them to get back to the reason they were all here. Spike smiled at Willow. He really did like the little Witch, not that he’d ever admit that. “She’s asleep. Exhausted poor thing.”

 

He didn’t notice how his voice softened when he spoke about Buffy, or how his eyes glazed when he thought of her. Willow was looking for it now, though, and she smiled. Xander wondered what had got into Spike. He wasn’t usually the type to sit with his mortal enemy after a night of combat and make sure that she was sleeping properly. In fact he was surprised that Spike had helped Buffy at all. Didn’t they hate each other? He opened his mouth to ask, but the look Willow shot him, silenced him immediately. Something strange was going on.

 

“Can we see her?” Willow asked.

“I think you should wait until she wakes up, unless you want to sit with her for a while,” then “one at a time,” he clarified, looking straight at Xander.

 

*****************************

 

Buffy woke as Spike rose to answer the door. She was a little surprised to find him still there, watching over her as she slept. She smiled softly as she watched him cross the room through half closed eyes. She was glad he had stayed.

 

The pleasant thoughts gave way to the horror of the night before as Buffy came fully awake. Faith was dead. Buffy felt a lump form in her throat. “Oh God,” she whispered into her pillow, and started to cry softly.

 

The flash of light, which filled the room, startled Buffy out of her foetal position on the bed. She looked around her, trying to make out any threat. She couldn’t see anything different.

 

Then she saw her. Faith; materialising in front of her as if by magic.

 

“Hey B,” Faith said nervously, as Buffy slid slowly to the floor in a dead faint.

 

******************************

 

Willow looked up at the sound of Buffy hitting the floor and then across at Spike, who was already half way up the stairs. Willow and Xander followed quickly, anxious for their friend.

 

Spike threw the door to Buffy’s bedroom open and saw her prone body lying next to her bed. In two steps he lifted her into his arms and sat down on the bed, placing her comfortably in his lap. He started to pat her cheek gently, trying to wake her. “Buffy?” he called softly, “Buffy, wake up love.”

 

Willow and Xander stopped in the doorway, taking in the image of vampire and Slayer. Willow smiled widely as she looked at them. Xander rolled his eyes and scanned the rest of the room. His jaw dropped and he froze as he saw Faith standing by Buffy’s mirror. Willow looked at him curiously and then across at where he was staring. Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn’t.

 

Buffy blinked sleepily, looked up into the beautiful blue eyes of her mortal enemy, and smiled. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” he replied tenderly, smiling down at her. Why did she have to be so damn beautiful? “What happened pet?”

“I think I must have been dreaming. I thought I saw Faith.” Buffy’s eyes filled with tears, and Spike bent down and lovingly kissed her forehead. “Shh,” he soothed, “It’s alright.”

 

“Buffy?” Xander was the first to regain the use of his vocal chords and called to the Slayer, shocked, as he stared at the dead girl.

 

Spike took a deep, unnecessary breath and looked at the ceiling, irritated, before moving Buffy off his knees and onto the bed so she could talk to her friends. Buffy smiled slightly at the vampire’s actions and turned to Xander. He and Willow were staring across the room. She turned to follow their gaze and saw Faith.

 

“Uh, Spike?” she questioned the man sitting next to her. “Is Faith standing over by the mirror?”

Spike looked quickly at Buffy, the statement on his face clearly stating she’d lost her mind, and then over to the mirror in the corner of the room. When he saw the other Slayer he almost fell off the bed in shock.

“Thanks, it’s nice to know I’m not going crazy,” she told him, her eyes never moving from her friend. “Faith?”

 

“B. Look I’m sorry I gave you such a fright. They uh, they just sent me down here and I don’t really know what I’m supposed to be doing.” She twisted her pretty face in confusion and the discomfort of the situation. “Xander, Willow,” she had things to say before she started on her new ‘destined path’. Faith rolled her eyes at the thought. ‘Destined path. What’s that supposed to mean? Last one got me killed.’

“I’m sorry.”

 

Willow and Xander came out of their trance like state at her words and smiled. “That’s ok Faith.” Willow was glad she had another chance to talk to the second Slayer. Even if she didn’t understand it. “Yeah, I mean, we’re all friends here.” Xander accepted the situation totally. What else had he come to expect from this town?

 

**********************************

 

Drusilla was un-amused. She was chained in Giles’ small bathtub unable to move. She continued to struggle against the chains every once in a while, but her mind was most occupied with ways in which to save herself from the stake she knew Buffy would have waiting for her. Why had she ever thought Riley could help her? “Useless,” she muttered, “Bloody useless.”

 

Giles entered the bathroom cautiously. He knew that Drusilla had powers he could not control or disarm and he needed to be careful. He had considered letting Tara take the vampiress her ‘meal’, as Tara’s own magical powers would make her less susceptible. However Giles’ never felt comfortable putting the youngsters in danger, even though he knew at this point, they could take care of themselves. He approached the bathtub resolutely; arm outstretched holding the same ‘Kiss the Librarian’ mug they had forced Spike to drink from.

 

Drusilla wrinkled her nose at the mug, pursing her lips as she wondered what she could do to the Watcher to make him release her. She smiled cruelly as a thought came to her.

 

Giles saw the smile and closed his eyes. “It won’t work this time, Drusilla. I’m not in such a hopeless state that I’ll believe Jenny’s in front of me. Or anyone else for that matter.” He opened his eyes again and looked warily at her.

 

Dru stared at Giles, her eyes hypnotising him. “Shh. Mummy’s going to make everything better.”

 

****************************

 

The crash from the bathroom caused the seven inhabitants of the living room to jump violently. Tara looked across at Anya from her position beside Oz on the couch, and the former demon stood quickly and started toward the noise. Angel ran quickly ahead of her through the house, not wanting Dru to hurt anyone more than she had already done. More than they had already done.

 

A piece of him also reminded himself that he didn’t want Dru killed. He had lost Darla and Faith in one night. Dru was his Childe; he had made her what she was. She was his responsibility.

 

The bathroom door swung open, and Angel stood in the doorway taking in the scene in front of him. Giles lay unconscious in the bath, while Dru was busy unlocking the shackles that bound her wrists. She smiled sweetly when she saw him. “My Angel. The nasty Watcher was…”

 

“Enough Dru! You know I’m not letting you leave here,” Angel growled warningly.

“But you can’t stop me Angel, you’ve never been able to stop me.”

“Dru…”

 

“If he can’t, we can.” Anya appeared in the doorway, aiming a crossbow at the female vampire’s heart; Wesley, Cordelia and Beth stood behind her, each holding stakes.

 

*******************************

 

Oz shifted uncomfortably on the couch. His muscles had begun to ache in protest at the strain they had been under for the last few days, and even Willow and Tara’s spells couldn’t completely remove the pain of the bruises Angelus had inflicted. He raised his head slightly and looked at Tara. She had sat nervously next to him since Willow left, trying to ease his pain, fetching him drinks and plumping the pillows. But she was still uncomfortable around him. He could feel it. He needed to reassure her as Willow had, that he was not going to take the redheaded witch away from her.

 

“You love her?”

“Yeah.”

“Good… Don’t hurt her.”

“No!”

“Excellent.”

 

“You love her.”

“Yes I do.”

“Then why?”

“Because… She needs you.”

“I need her.”

“I understand.”

 

“You’re not going to take her.”

“No I’m not.”

“Thanks Oz.”

 

Oz smiled.

 

*********************************

 

Buffy rolled her eyes as her former mortal enemy tucked her up with a blanket on the living room couch, and proceeded to fetch her snacks, drinks and sundry other items that she could possibly want, all the while reprimanding her if she moved so much as an inch.

 

Willow and Xander were taking great pleasure in seeing their leader bossed around by a vampire who couldn’t fight back if Buffy tried to restrain him physically. The confused group had made their way downstairs with the intention of finding out what had brought Faith back. Willow had hurriedly closed the curtains as Spike carried a protesting Buffy into the room and began to fuss over her.

 

“Spike, I’m not ill.”

“You’ve had a long, hard, emotionally trying night Slayer, and you need rest.”

“God, you sound like Giles.”

Spike frowned at her at the statement and raised his fingers to her lips. “Enough. No more talk. Listen to Faith.”

He turned to the other Slayer, his feelings of shock well under control. As much as he hated to agree with the boy, Xander had been right. You really couldn’t be shocked by anything in this town anymore. ‘Well what’s more shocking than falling in love with your mortal enemy?’ he asked himself.

 

Faith grimaced, not liking the attention she was suddenly being paid. “Gee thanks Spike.” He smiled devilishly at her and she looked away. As she had earlier with Riley, she thought back to the last encounter she and Spike had had. She would bet anything he still didn’t know it had been her inside Buffy’s body. ‘He wouldn’t be smiling at me if he did. He’d probably have tried to kill me himself’, she thought. ‘At least that means B doesn’t know what I did. Doubt she’d forgive me for that one.’ Faith had seen the chemistry between the two, had felt the unacknowledged bond between them. She remembered how Spike had reacted to her teasing – to ‘Buffy’s’ teasing – a year ago. The way his body had reacted as she had rubbed up against him. Faith closed her eyes in horror. ‘Please God, if you love me at all, please never let them find out.’

 

“Faith?” Buffy was talking to her. “Earth to Faith. Literally.”

“What? Sorry. Lost in the past. What d’ y’ wanna know? I really don’t know that much myself.”

“Why don’t you start at the beginning? You died… then what?” Buffy winced. There had to have been a better way to put that.

 

Faith laughed. “Well this guy came up to me, and he’s all like, ‘This is your destiny Faith’, and I’m like, ‘I’ve completed my destiny pal’. Then he says, ‘No you’ve been chosen,’ so I ask ‘Chosen for what?’ you know? So he says, ‘You’re Buffy’s Guardian and you must help her through this difficult time’ and I say ‘What?’, and he tells me that every flesh and blood thing on Earth has a Guardian to guide them through the tough spots, right, even vampires, and that I’m yours.”

Buffy stared at Faith. “You’re what?”

 

“Well I said I hadn’t done a very good job so far, but he said that I did in the end. You see something has to trigger the Guardian, and they thought it was gonna be Kendra ‘cause of what was goin’ on with Angel, but it seems that something worse is gonna happen and your gonna have to make some choices and I’m here to help.”

Buffy was still staring, confused. “What?”

“Look I know it’s not easy to take in B, but I don’t fully understand it myself. Maybe you should ask Giles.”

 

“Right, ask Giles. I’ll do that,” Buffy said, starting to get up off the couch.

“Not so fast Slayer.” Spike pushed Buffy back down and pulled the blanket back around her. “Giles can come ‘ere for a change. You’re not going anywhere,” he insisted as Buffy opened her mouth to protest. “Willow, why don’t you ring Giles and ask him to come round. You Whelp, can make yourself useful for once and put the kettle on. And you miss,” he said turning back to Buffy as the others automatically did as he requested, “Can stop worrying your pretty little head about everything, and rest. If something extra bad is coming to Sunnyhell, we don’t want a half charged Slayer do we?”

 

Buffy tried her best not to smile at his concern. He really seemed to want to look after her. Buffy snuggled down into the couch. Well she’d let him. But not without the token protest he’d be expecting.

“You’re no fun,” she pouted.

“Wanna bet?” he shot back.

 

*********************************

 

“Giles? Giles!” Anya shook the Watcher roughly trying to wake him. “He’s coming around now,” she told Willow who was fretfully waiting on the other end of the phone Anya held balanced between her ear and shoulder. “Drusilla must have hurt him pretty bad. He’s been unconscious a good five minutes.”

 

“Please,” Cordelia snorted. “That’s his thing. He gets knocked out. It’s like having a catchphrase. Except it probably hurts more.” She helped a shaky Giles out of the bath and raised a cultured eyebrow at him. “What she do?”

“Uh, um, I can’t remember,” Giles was incredibly embarrassed. He’d just been telling himself to be careful and he still let her get to him. And hearing Cordelia say getting knocked out was ‘his thing’ made him groan in shame. Determinedly he turned to Anya. “Who is that?”

“Willow. She says they need you over at Buffy’s.” She held the phone out to Giles.

 

“Willow? What’s wrong? Is Buffy ok?” Giles asked hurriedly.

“She’s fine Giles. Spike stayed with her; made sure she slept and he’s got her tucked up on the couch now,” Giles chuckled at the picture Willow was painting. “But uh, we do need you over here. Can’t really explain over the phone.”

‘Not that we can explain when you get here,’ Willow added silently.

“Right, I’ll be right there Willow. Bye.” He handed the phone back to Anya and turned to go and change his clothes. “I’m coming,” Anya said as she followed him through the house. Giles nodded absently and then scowled at Drusilla who once more chained to a chair in the living room.

 

“Uh, Tara, can you stay here with Oz. Beth can you make sure she stays put,” he gestured at Dru, “Anya and I shouldn’t be long, but you never know.” He ran quickly upstairs to his bedroom.

 

****************************

 

Giles knocked and entered the Summers’ house, Anya directly behind him. “Hello?”

“Giles,” Buffy exclaimed from her position on the couch, “Thank God.”

Giles smiled widely at the girl he thought of as a daughter and entered the living room. Anya immediately ran to Xander and sat down firmly on his lap, hugging him tightly.

 

“How are you?” Giles asked Buffy, concerned. She looked incredibly comfortable and pampered, wrapped up tight in a blanket, with her favourite stuffed toy, Mr. Gordo. But Giles knew that inside Buffy must be suffering terribly after the events of last night.

 

“I’m great Giles. I’d be even better if William would only stop fussing.” She smiled sweetly across at the vampire who growled back at her. “Careful Slayer, your not too old to be put over my knee you know.”

“No, but you are sooo incapable of doing it,” Buffy replied sticking her tongue out at him. Willow and Xander started to laugh quietly, while Giles looked back and forth between the two blondes. They seemed to be getting on better; even if the previous night had been nothing but sheer horror, he was glad they were getting along. He looked past Spike to the girl sitting by the kitchen door.

 

“Jes’…!” Giles stumbled backwards in shock.

“Yeah mate,” Spike agreed.

“Giles, Faith, Faith, Giles,” Buffy joked as she took in the look of amazement on her Watcher’s face. “Oh and Faith, this is Anya,” she pointed to the former demon and reached down for her cup. “Oh, ‘s cold,” she pouted and looked across at Spike through her lowered lashes.

 

He stared at her, unwilling to further give the impression that she only had to ask and he would obey. She continued to look, raising her eyebrows slightly as he continued to stay seated. Eventually he couldn’t take it any longer and jumped up, cursing Buffy, Drusilla and Angel, the people he felt most contributed to his feeling this way. Everyone in the room was staring at him. If he could have blushed he would have been scarlet with embarrassment. He glared at her as he took the cup and turned towards the kitchen.

“You’re the one who said I had to stay wrapped up here. If we’d gone to Giles’ you wouldn’t have had to lift a finger,” she reminded his retreating back. As he disappeared through the door she smiled brightly across at Willow who’s eyes twinkled back at her in silent glee.

 

“So Giles, we all want to know why Faith’s here. If she tells you her story, do you think maybe you could come up with some answers?” Buffy asked becoming serious. Faith had mentioned a bigger problem than the Angel situation and Buffy definitely wanted to be prepared.

“Well I can try,” Giles replied, sinking slowly down into the chair Spike had vacated. “Uh, why don’t you start at the beginning.”


	2. Chapter 2

“What were you trying to do anyway? You should know better than to come here again, after everything that happened before.” Angel stared down at Drusilla, his arms holding either side of the chair on which she was sitting. “Even I can’t be here anymore,” he added quietly.

 

“That’s ‘cause you love ‘er. My Angel loves the Slayer; I knew that. But when my Spike fell in love with the Slayer. Well that’s different.” Drusilla closed her eyes and rolled her head around in lazy circles.

“Dru, you left Spike. He didn’t even feel this way then. Dru!” He shook her gently, forcing her to open her eyes.

 

“Yes he did love. He loved ‘er right from the start, right from that first night.”

“At the school?”

“At the Bronze. ‘E came home very happy that night. We made love for hours.” Dru half closed her eyes again, informing the souled vampire that she was lost in the past, remembering the happy times she and Spike had shared. Angel frowned. He didn’t like the thought that his Childe had been in love with Buffy all this time. He understood, albeit reluctantly, that being at such close quarters to the Slayer, as Spike was these days, he had had no alternative but to give in to a force that was purely Buffy. Angel had done that himself. However, Dru’s revelations changed everything in his mind. All of Spike’s past actions had to be called into question. It set a few things straight at least and he smiled slightly when he thought of how much Spike must have hated it.

 

Dru’s eyes were open again, staring into his, trying to read what was in his mind. “That’s why I left him. Because of her.”

“And now you want revenge on Buffy because you think she took him away from you.”

Drusilla frowned slightly. “I love my Spike. He was corrupted by that wh…”

“Dru.” Angel growled threateningly.

“I had a dream about them. Riley was supposed to kill the Slayer, and then Spike would kill Riley.”

“And then you and Spike would live happily ever after,” Angel completed as Drusilla nodded happily.

“But it went wrong, and now I don’t know what to do,” Drusilla began to cry. Like a child, Drusilla cried easily and she used it to her advantage. Spike had been unable to see her cry, always allaying the situation before the tears began to fall. Angelus however, had loved it. He loved having the power to hurt this beautiful creature.

 

Angel sighed and wrapped his arms around her. Whatever she had done, she was his and he didn’t really want her to die at Buffy’s hands. He was sure that wasn’t what Spike would want either. “Would you leave? Would you go and never come back. You’d have to promise me Dru. I can arrange it if you promise me.” Drusilla gazed up at him, unsure. “For Spike,” Angel urged.

“Alright. I promise.”

 

*************************

 

Cordelia slowly circled the fountain in the courtyard outside Giles’ home. She’d had a weird few days, a weird few weeks all said and done. She hated witnessing Angel as Angelus. He was her best friend, though she’d never admit that to anyone. She hated seeing him so changed.

 

And Faith. There was something she didn’t want to think about. Cordelia had been hurt least of anyone when Faith had awakened from her coma, intent on revenge, but she had seen the pain Faith had inflicted on Wesley, heard about her treatment of Buffy and the gang, and Cordelia had refused to have anything to do with the girl. But the idea that she would never see Faith again was strange to her. As she had said earlier, Faith always seemed so full of life. The night’s events had brought home to Cordelia once again, just how dangerous the job she was doing was. And it scared her. It scared her so much she was afraid to tell anyone, afraid they would think badly of her.

 

She sat down on the edge of the fountain, wondering when her life had got so complicated. And then the pain came. The excruciating hurt that accompanied a vision from the Powers That Be. She clutched her head, screaming as the ache overtook her in waves.

 

Dark, Spike, chained to a wall, caves, oh God the pain, no screaming, Riley, laughing, dust, dark.

 

Wesley and Angel looked briefly at each other when the screaming started, and then hurtled out into the courtyard. Angel’s body began to smoke under the harsh light of the sun, and Wesley quickly pushed him back indoors before racing to Cordy. She had fallen backwards into the water, not noticing her surroundings once the pain of the vision had suffused her body.

 

Wesley scooped her out the water and carried her inside. She choked on the water which she had swallowed and coughed violently. Oz hopped of the couch, Tara moving with him to ease him into the armchair, and Wesley laid Cordelia down gently.

 

“Cor?” Angel was beside her in a second. “Cor? Are you ok?”

“I hate those things. I hate the stupid visions, I hate the immense pain, and I hate almost drowning just ‘cause Doyle was in love with me! And there isn’t enough money in the world to justify having to suffer them.” Cordelia glared at Angel. “I hope you realise what I do for you.”

“I know,” Angel smiled as he gently brushed her wet hair back from her face. “Don’t think I don’t appreciate it.” He kissed her forehead. “Wanna tell me about the vision?”

 

“Oh God, Angel,” Cordy exclaimed, sitting up agitatedly as she remembered. “Riley, he had Spike, in some caves.” She started to shiver and Wesley placed the blanket from the back of the couch around her shoulders.

“Spike? Riley had Spike?”

“Yeah, and Spike, God he was in so much pain. Riley was torturing him, but he wouldn’t scream or shout. He just took it. And then Riley killed him. Poof.” Cordy looked nervously at her boss. “Angel?”

 

Angel was considering how his soul would react to him committing cold-blooded murder for the first time in two and a half years. He had always hated Riley; from the very first second he had seen the boy talking to Buffy outside the coffee shop last year. When he had finally had an encounter with him, Angel realised that it wasn’t just the fact he was dating Buffy that made him want to shove red-hot pokers through his chest.

 

He had hurt Buffy, killed Faith, and now Riley was going to kill Spike. Yes Angel was definitely going to kill him.

 

Granted things hadn’t been right between Sire and Childe since they had met up again a few years previously. Angel’s soul, Angel losing his soul, Angelus sleeping with Dru… ‘So maybe it was all your fault.’

Spike betraying him and then trying to kill him. Twice. ‘Maybe not.’ But Spike was Angel’s favourite Childe. They’d been friends and brothers for years, before Angel’s restored soul had broken their happy family apart.

 

There was no way he was going to allow Riley to take one more person he loved. His face changed, his true form emerging as his anger built. “Where is he Dru?”

 

**************************

 

Part 5

 

Spike leant against the kitchen counter his hands braced either side of him. Xander had thoughtfully drawn the kitchen blinds so the blonde vampire could move freely from room to room, without fear of messing up Joyce’s clean floors. Ash, Spike had learnt through time, was hell to shift.

 

He didn’t really understand what was going on, but then he hadn’t been able to grasp anything much in the last few months. His perfect existence had been ruined, by one small behavioural correction chip, and one small Vampire Slayer. He couldn’t even blame Angel anymore. ‘Bloody poof.’ Insulting him always made him feel better though.

 

He switched off the boiling kettle and poured Buffy’s drink. ‘If someone had told you this time last year, that you’d be doing errands for the Slayer, willingly doing errands for her, you’d have laughed in their face. Now look at you. Moping around, making sure she’d all tucked up safe. What’s the matter with you? You’re getting as bad as Daddy.’

 

“You love her, huh?”

Spike looked up. Anya. He smiled. Another of the Scoobies he could stand. In fact he liked Anya as much as he liked Willow. At least she understood how he felt. Her experiences as a demon certainly made her better company than… well truthfully he didn’t have any company to compare her to. Except Harmony. Spike snorted. He’d rather have Xander for company.

 

“Who?” No need to make it too easy.

“Buffy.”

“No.”

“Liar.”

 

“Please tell me it’s not that obvious.” Spike requested sardonically.

“Well I think Willow knows. But that’s all,” Anya reassured him. “And Giles I think. But no one else.” Spike sighed. Well as long as Buffy didn’t know. And the Whelp.

“Oh God no, Xander knows nothing,” Anya supplied hastily, correctly interpreting the look of horror which had formed on Spike’s face at the thought.

“Can’t disagree with that one luv,” Spike laughed. “Don’t know what you see in the wanker.”

“What do you love about Buffy?” Anya teased.

“Oh lets not play that game. I really don’t want Buffy to know that I…”

 

“Oh, right. And of course, Buffy knows,” Anya supplied, happy that she had remembered the final person who knew Spike’s secret.

“What?”

“Spike I’ve had a lot of experience in the area of men and women. Not exactly enough to have an easy relationship with a teenage mortal man, but enough to know that you’ve got it really bad for out favourite Slayer, and that she’s got it bad for you.”

 

Spike looked at her sharply and his eyes lit up. “Really? You think she…?”

“Definitely. She just doesn’t know it yet.” There, Anya had done it. She’d made her friend feel better. Who said this mortal stuff was hard? Piece of cake. “As long as nothing happens with Angel, you’ll be fine.”

 

*****************************

 

“Well, uh, it seems to me that…” Giles trailed off as the four youngsters stared at him expectantly. “I’m sorry, I really have no idea.”

 

Buffy slumped back down onto the couch, while Faith stood and started pacing the room. “Do we really need further explanation?” Willow asked, “I mean Faith’s Buffy’s Guardian, she’s here to help, what more do we need?”

 

Xander nodded emphatically in agreement. “Right, shouldn’t we be researching the big evil that’s on its way here? Then we’ll know what Faith’s purpose is.”

Giles removed his glasses. “Yes, I think that might be best Xander. If the people who sent Faith back couldn’t explain it all properly, I doubt there’s much information about it. I’ve never heard of such a phenomenon, so I think we should just take it as it stands.”

 

As Spike and Anya re-entered from the kitchen with a tray of drinks, the phone rang and Xander went to answer it. “Summers’ residence. Buffy is unavailable to take your call right now, as she’s being mollycoddled by her mortal enemy. Can I take a message?”

“Xander. Stop messing around. I need to speak to Buffy, it’s important.”

“Well, Angel, what a nice surprise.”

“Xander!” Angel snarled warningly.

“Yeah, ok. Buff it’s for you.” He tossed her the phone and looked worriedly at her. Angel had sounded deadly serious.

 

“Angel, what? Spike? No, he’s here. What? Why? Cordy what? I’m sorry? Angel, we have to do something, we have to find him. No. No I’ll go now. What? Don’t be ridiculous. We’ll all look. You, Beth and Oz stay there with Dru. Anya can wait here with Spike, unless you think we should bring him there first. No, ok, you’re probably right. Yes. Well of course. I am hurrying.”

 

Buffy hung up the phone and tossed it back to Xander, while extracting herself from the clutches of the blanket.

“Buffy what’s going on?” Spike demanded. The Slayerettes had sat silently throughout the conversation, trying to establish what was happening. “What did Angel say?”

 

Buffy avoided Spike’s gaze, looking around the room at everyone else. “Will, Xand, Giles, Faith I want you guys to go look for Riley. It’s very important. Cordelia had a vision. He’s going to do something…” She trailed off. “Please. Find him quickly.”

 

“We will Buffy,” Willow assured her friend as she pushed Xander out of the room ahead of her, pulling on the sleeve of Giles’ coat as she passed him. Giles looked down and saw the fear in Buffy’s eyes. He turned immediately and followed Willow and Xander.

 

“Why can’t I go?” Anya demanded.

“’Cause I need you to stay here and look after Spike while I’m out searching.” Buffy started to walk towards the stairs. “Spike.” She gestured for him to follow her.

 

************************

 

Buffy closed the door to her bedroom and turned to find Spike directly behind her, gazing at her intently.

“What is going on Slayer?”

Buffy swallowed audibly. “Cordelia’s vision was about you.”

“Me?”

Buffy nodded. “Riley torturing you and then kill…” She couldn’t finish. The idea made her feel sick.

 

Spike grasped Buffy by her upper arms and pulled her close to him. “Buffy’s he’s not going to…”

“No you’re right, he’s not,” Buffy agreed pulling out of his grip, “I’m not going to let him.” She started to pack her Slayer bag. Riley may not be a vampire or a demon, but he was a threat. She had failed to protect Faith. She was not going to let him hurt Spike.

 

“You stay here. No one comes in, no one goes out. Do you understand me?”

“Buffy…”

“Do you understand me?” Buffy repeated, staring Spike down authoritatively.

“Yes.”

“Good.” She walked past him and opened the door.

 

“Buffy?” Spike caught her wrist and pulled her to him. He stared down at her, longing to kiss her beautiful lips. But there was a time and a place for everything, and this certainly wasn’t it. “Take care,” he said softly and kissed her forehead.

 

**************************

 

Wesley didn’t know what they were doing. He, Cordelia and Tara were searching for a 20 year old, former military agent, who had gone totally off the rails and was now trying to brutally kill whoever he could lay his hands on. Not good.

 

Cordelia sighed. She was angry. Fear and pain. They made her angry. So her new perspective on death, her experiences with ‘evil Angel’ and the torment inflicted on her in the form of visions, had all combined to make Cordy Sunnydale’s angriest citizen. When they found this Riley guy, she was going to kill him herself. Sure she didn’t have fluffy bunny feelings for Spike, but at least you knew where you stood with the guy. God save them from good guys gone bad. “God save us from Buffy’s psycho boyfriends,” she muttered unfairly.

 

Tara wasn’t sure they were doing this right. She was the only one of them who had ever seen Riley in real life, so they were rather depending on her to lead them. And Tara didn’t like being in charge. It made her nervous. She didn’t even know what they were supposed to do if they found Riley. She was hoping that her group leadership would end when she pointed him out to the veteran Scoobies.

 

******************************

 

“What happened to Riley to make him do this?” Willow asked Xander as they searched the ruins of the high school. “Why’d he go all mean all of a sudden?”

“He thinks Buffy doesn’t love him,” Xander informed the redhead, turning automatically toward the library and the hellmouth.

“Well she sure won’t after this,” Willow replied, throwing the potion and illuminating the crumbling building.

“Cool,” Xander said, impressed. “But uh, don’t you think that maybe Riley wasn’t entirely to blame for this one?” he asked getting back to the topic at hand.

 

“Xander how can you ask that?” Willow stopped and turned to her best friend. “Since when do you stand up for people who betray us?”

“No, Will… I’m just saying if Buffy…”

“If Buffy what? If she wasn’t the Slayer? If her mom wasn’t sick? If she could only get over the love of her life? Xander she’s trying, ok? And it’s hard for her. But we have to be on her side. No matter what. Riley should have trusted her or at least talked to her about it. She’s got a lot on her mind at the moment. I don’t think she had time to deal with Riley’s insecurities too. Especially if he didn’t tell her about them. This is bad. He made the choice. There are a hundred things he could have done. He did this. Not Buffy. Don’t defend him.” Willow turned away. Did Xander really think this was Buffy’s fault?

 

“Hey. Hey look I’m sorry ok? You’re right. It’s not her fault. He didn’t have to do this. Hey,” he turned her around and was shocked to see her crying. “Willow?” He smoothed the hair back from her face, and moved her head so that she was looking up at him. “It’s alright. Shh.” He leant down, pulled by an uncontrollable force and gently kissed her lips.

 

*******************************

 

Faith was trying her best not to panic. Twenty-four hours ago she’d been chained to the factory wall, being systematically tortured by the man who’d spent the last year trying to save her soul. Since then she’d settled her problems with Buffy, died, been informed that she wasn’t meant to be a Vampire Slayer, she was in fact meant to help the girl who’s life she’d tried to ruin, and then she’d been sent back to Earth without another word. Now she was patrolling Sunnydale with Giles looking for Buffy’s beau, ‘cause he was going to do something… well something.

 

“Hasn’t the guy done enough?” Faith muttered, unconsciously feeling the stab wound Riley had inflicted on her.

Giles looked across at her, worried about how she was coping. She hadn’t really had time to get to grips with this yet. None of them had. Once again he cursed Riley for the torment he had put them all through. He stopped and turned to Faith, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Are you alright Faith? I know this must be difficult for you. If you want to go back I can carry on al…”

 

Faith shook her head determinedly. “No. It’s ok Giles. I’m here to help B you know. And if she wants Riley found I’m happy to oblige. Just as long as she doesn’t want him back in one piece.”

 

************************************

 

Oz was trying his best to distinguish between Angel and Angelus. The tyrant who had chained him up and beaten him unconscious was a world away from the quiet, brooding man who was searching through Giles’ kitchen cupboards for some coffee. Angel was attempting to make things right. Oz was going to let him try. He had seen the anger and fear that had overcome Angel when Cordelia had told him about her vision. Angel was a good guy. He had to remember that.

 

Angel banged the cupboard doors shut angrily. He needed to be out there looking for Riley. He wished he had let Buffy bring Spike to Giles’ house. At least then Angel would have been able to keep an eye on the younger vampire. Make sure Riley couldn’t get near enough to harm him. He looked across at Dru. If possible she looked even paler than usual. She was frightened. She wasn’t the only one.

 

Beth was in shock. She couldn’t feel anything. She had sat on the bottom stair since she had heard Cordelia’s vision, her only movement the raising of the cigarette she was smoking, to her lips. She couldn’t move anymore, knew that if she did she’d run out to find Riley, stop him from hurting her brother. She glanced across at Dru who was sitting with her head bent and her eyes closed. Seeing her looking so distressed pushed Beth over the edge.

 

“It’s all your fault, you evil bitch!” she screamed, hauling Drusilla out the chair, the ropes ineffective against Beth’s vampiric strength. “You did this, if you’d stayed away none of this would have happened. He’s going to die and it’s all… it’s all…” Beth started to weep uncontrollably, unable to finish what she had been saying. She sank to her knees before a stunned Drusilla, who was already torturing herself with the knowledge that she had ultimately been the one to hurt Spike.

 

Angel had run to Beth, trying to prevent the girl from harming Dru. It wouldn’t really make her feel any better and there had been enough torture and death in the past few days. He caught her as she fell to the floor and held her, feeling the pain that ran through her.

 

“I can’t just sit here Angel. I can’t just wait until she rings and tells me he’s dead. I need to find Riley.”

“Buffy’ll find him,” Angel assured her, with more confidence than he felt. Riley’s training and Dru’s spells would make him a formidable force. Buffy needed all the help she could get.

 

***************************

 

Buffy searched the Initiative caves, trying to find some clue that Riley was, or had been, there. He’d come here last time, and Cordelia’s vision had specified caves. Buffy wished she knew why Riley was doing this. She knew he hadn’t trusted her and maybe that was justified when you considered her feelings for Spike but still… She had never imagined that Riley would go so far. Would purposely do so much to hurt her and her loved ones. No she would not blame herself. Not loving him was no excuse for murder and betrayal.

 

****************************

 

“Look I’m just saying…”

“Well don’t.”

“I’m allowed to have an opinion, and frankly I think they’re overrated.”

“Please!”

“Overpaid poseurs.”

“I agree. But as they’re the most successful football team…”

 

“Soccer,” Anya interrupted. Spike stared at her irritated. “What? Xander says I have to call it soccer. To distinguish it from American Football.”

“Well don’t. And American Football is rugby… for wimps.”

“Can we talk about something else? I don’t like sports all that much.”

 

Anya was curled up at one end of the couch; Spike was sitting cross-legged on the floor, facing her across the coffee table. Their conversation had covered history, or at least the part that they have both lived through, before moving on to more everyday things. Music, literature, art… They’d seen and heard, read and lived so much. There were few people either one of them could talk to about such things, even if they tended to argue more often than they agreed.

 

They were stopped from any further conversation by the canister, which was thrown through the window at that moment. The curtains moved with the force, and streaks of light found their way into the living room. Spike yelped and moved quickly out of the way.

 

Anya felt light-headed. Something was making her tired and she couldn’t breathe as well as she needed. She closed her eyes as the gas filled the room.

 

Spike heard the faint hiss coming from behind the couch and looked across to see Anya lying unconscious, her head falling over the arm of the seat. Gas. Briefly the thought entered his mind that if Riley expected this to affect him, he was an even bigger fool than Spike had given him credit for.

 

He lifted Anya into his arms and carried her up to Buffy’s bedroom. He laid her on the bed, firmly closing the door behind them. Wrapping one of Buffy’s shirts around his arm, he carefully opened the window to let some fresh air in. He turned back to the bed, hoping that Anya would soon be ok. They really needed to get out of there. They needed to warn the others.

 

Pulling his mobile out the back pocket of his black jeans, he quickly dialled his sister’s number. Angel and Beth were pretty much their only hope with the Slayer and her chums gone.

 

“Hello?” Beth answered on the first ring. “Hello? Spike? Spike, are you there?”

 

*****************************

 

Willow and Xander jumped apart, both shocked by what had just happened. Willow flushed and turned quickly away, not wanting Xander to see how his actions had confused her. ‘I don’t want Xander right? Not in the want, want sense, anyway. Xander’s my friend. My best, best friend, there’s no way that we could still…And I love Tara. I do.’

 

‘I kissed Willow. Oh God. Why did I kiss Willow? She was upset. Yeah she was upset and you were trying to be a friend. What a jerk.’ Xander stared at the ground, unable to look at Willow in case she was disgusted with him. ‘Come on Harris. You have to do something.’

 

“I’m sorry. Oh God Willow I’m so sorry,” he looked up and walked around to face her. “I didn’t mean to… I mean I didn’t want to…” Willow looked up at Xander, confusion etched across her lovely face.

“Didn’t want to?”

“Well no, I mean I did want to… And it was very nice, no; um… well that’s not the issue. What I mean was, it was a mistake. I love Anya.”

“I love Tara,” Willow started to smile gently. “It’s over isn’t it Xander.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah Will,” Xander nodded, glad he hadn’t lost her, glad his best friend had understood. They had needed to deal with the unfinished business, neither fully able to commit to another relationship until that had been resolved.

 

“I’ll always love you Xander. You have a part of me no one else can touch. But we weren’t supposed to be together like that.”

“I love you too Will.”

 

Willow reached for his hand and they stood silently in what was left of the high school library for a few minutes, before their hunt for Riley continued.

 

*****************************

 

Cordelia spotted Giles across the graveyard and began to run towards him, leaving Wesley and Tara to follow behind. “Giles!” she shouted as she approached, “Have you seen…?” she stopped suddenly, her eyes flicking to the girl standing a little behind the Watcher. “Faith?”

 

Wesley pulled up behind Cordelia, breathing heavily. “You might let a fellow…” he trailed off as he followed Cordelia’s gaze. “Good Lord. Faith, I, I, I, uh…”

“Nice to see you too Wes,” Faith smiled as she stepped closer to small group. Cordelia, Wesley and Tara collectively took a step backward. “Well thanks for the warm welcome,” Faith mumbled as she stepped back towards Giles once more.

 

“Sorry,” Wesley said, frowning as he moved towards Faith, cursing himself for his awkwardness, “It’s just all a little hard to take in. You’re dead.”

“Incredible. Give the man a cigar.” Faith rolled her eyes at the obvious statement.

“Faith,” Giles admonished gently, trying to swallow the smile, which was forcing its way to his lips.

“Are you a ghost?” Cordelia asked, her initial shock giving way to an acceptance that only came after living so long on the hellmouth. “I live with a ghost, so I’m used to them, except I can’t see Dennis, which is good, ‘cause that would be way freaky.”

 

“I’m not a ghost. I’m a Guardian.”

“A what?” Tara asked cautiously.

“A Guardian,” Faith repeated, and proceeded to explain everything that had happened since her death, for the third time.

 

******************************

 

Anya woke slowly. Her head felt heavy and she had to take several deep breaths before she could even open her eyes. ‘My eyes aren’t working,’ she thought as her eyelids refused to open fully. She narrowly gazed around, wondering where she was. ‘I was in Buffy’s living room, talking to Spike about soccer, football, whatever… and then…’ She pushed herself into a sitting position and forced her eyes open. “This is Buffy’s room,” she said aloud. “Why am I in Buffy’s room?”

 

She looked around for a clue to why she might be there and saw Spike’s mobile phone lying on the rug. Groggily, she crawled off the bed and across the floor. The phone was lying open, face down, as if someone had been using it and had dropped it suddenly. She picked it up and pressed redial.

 

“Spike?” Beth answered immediately. “Are you ok?”

“It’s not Spike, it’s Anya. Did he call you? Recently?” Anya blinked several times, trying to clear her head.

“About five minutes ago. We were getting worried. Angel and I were just about to come and… Wait. Why are you asking? If you’re with him you should know.” Beth was starting to get agitated.

 

“But I’m not with him. I don’t know where he is. I think I passed out and when I came to, I was in Buffy’s bedroom.” Anya heard Beth talking to someone at the other end of the line. She opened the bedroom door and made her way downstairs, the feeling of light-headedness hitting her again the closer she got to the living room. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and sat down.

 

“Anya?” Angel was talking now. “Anya this is Angel, can you hear me? Anya?”

“Hmmm? What? Yeah, I can hear you Angel. The ooky feeling’s come back.”

“What? Anya what’s wrong?” Angel was trying hard not to lose control.

“Can you hear that? Like a hisssssss?”

“Oh God. Anya get out. Get out of the house now.”

“But, wh…?”

“JUST GO!” Angel roared, and Anya ran quickly out of the Summers’ house and down the porch steps into the street.

 

“Anya? Anya?”

“Yes Angel, I’m here. Wow, I feel a lot better. What was that?”

“Gas. Where’s Spike?”

“I really have no idea. Oh yes, yes I remember. Something came through the window. Then I must have passed out. I think Spike must have carried me up to Buffy’s room and then… I really don’t know. When I came to, I was alone. I saw the phone and rang to find out what had happened.”

 

Angel was cursing silently. “Ok. Anya look, I want you to call 911 and tell them about the gas. Stay away from the house. Then call Cordy, she’s got my phone, and tell her what’s happened. I want all of you to get over here as quickly as possible alright. Riley must have Spike.”

Anya had already come to that conclusion, and was wondering how long they had of the hideous torture Spike had mentioned, before it was too late.

 

*****************************

 

“God, what a beautiful day!”

 

Spike lay on the picnic blanket, his arms crossed behind his head, staring up at the clear blue sky. It had been forever since he had been able to see and appreciate such a sight, and he was relishing every minute. He closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the warmth of the sun on his face. He smiled widely, truly happy for the first time in years.

 

He opened his eyes again and looked down towards his feet. To celebrate this momentous occasion he had exchanged his trademark black and leather, for a lightweight white cotton shirt, which was open at the neck, and a pair of beige trousers. His feet were bare and he could feel the cool grass tickling his soles. He let out a contented sigh.

 

“Happy?”

 

The petite blonde rolled over onto her stomach and raised herself up on her forearms until she was lying half across his chest, staring down into his handsome face. “Hmmm.” Spike murmured, his smile growing wider as he shut his eyes contentedly. “Hmmm?” The blonde raised one eyebrow at his lack of response. When he further refused to acknowledge her a wicked smile crossed her lips as she lowered them to his jaw.

 

“Are,” she said as she rained light kisses along his jaw, “You.” The trail moved down to his neck and she increased the pressure. “Happy?” she asked again, pulling back suddenly and moving her lips directly over his, just a fraction away from touching.

 

He moved then, his arms coming around her to pull her to him as he crushed her lips onto his. She giggled slightly and shifted so that he could roll her onto her back. He kept one hand in her hair, firmly cupping the back of her head, as the other slid down to her waist. She groaned deep in her throat at his touch and it was his turn to chuckle.

 

The kiss continued, passionate and loving until they remembered they needed to breathe and broke slowly and reluctantly apart. He stared down into the beautiful face of the woman he loved, watching her passion filled eyes as she tried to steady her breathing. “I’ve never been happier,” he stated, the truth burning in his bright blue eyes for her to see. She smiled a purely feminine smile of pleasure and pulled his head back down to meet hers.

 

They kissed, slowly and tenderly, for several minutes, before Spike started to kiss along her jaw as she had done before. She tilted her head to the side and he kissed her neck, nipping it gently with his teeth, making her squeal softly in delight. As he began to move further down, nuzzling against the top of her breasts, she arched back, allowing him better access to her body, which was singing at his touch.

 

He raised his head slightly and looked up into her eyes. She mewled in protest at the loss of his kiss and looked down at him, frowning in confusion.

 

“I love you Buffy.”

 

It was a simple statement; something he’d been meaning to say for so long, but had never had the chance. She was his now. She needed to know what she meant to him.

 

“I love you, Spike.”

 

The joy that shot through him at the softly spoken words was of a kind he had never experienced before. He moved quickly back to face her, his hands cupping her face as his eyes searched for the truth in hers. She nodded slightly, seeing his apprehension, and her face broke into a gorgeous grin, as her eyes filled with happy tears. He hugged her tightly to him, swearing he would do anything in his power to ensure she always stayed this happy.

 

He closed his eyes again, needing to keep the moment with him as long as possible. She was the only thing that was stopping him from…

 

“…screaming in agony and begging me to stop.”

 

Riley grinned manically down at him, shoving the poker through his already searing flesh. His daydream splintered into a thousand pieces as he concentrated on not giving Riley the satisfaction of hearing him cry out at the pain.

 

**********************

 

Buffy walked quickly along Revello Drive, anxious to get home. She had checked the cemeteries after the caves, searching each crypt and hiding place she knew of, but she hadn’t found Riley. She was getting worried. The longer he was out there, the more opportunity he had to…

 

She saw the fire engine and police car outside her home and broke into a run. ‘No, no, no,’ she repeated over and over in her mind as she saw Anya talking agitatedly to one of the police officers.

 

“Yes of course I’m sure. He works for the military, so he’s bound to be able to get hold of this stuff. Oh, there’s the owner,” Anya pointed to Buffy as she came running up.

“Is this your house miss?” the officer smiled patronisingly at her.

“Yes it is. What’s going on?” She didn’t wait for him to answer and turned immediately to Anya, “Where’s Spike?”

“Who’s Spike?” the policeman interrupted, feeling he was rapidly losing control of the situation. Buffy ignored him.

 

“I think Riley took him Buffy. He threw this gas canister through the window and kidnapped Spike while I was unconscious.” Anya stepped nervously back a little as she spoke, correctly gauging the look on Buffy’s face. Riley was going to be so dead when the Slayer caught up with him.

“Riley? The military guy? He’s kidnapped someone? Look do you ladies wanna come down to the station with me and…”

 

“NO!” Buffy screamed, grabbing Anya by the upper-arms, “I have to find him Anya. We have to…”

“Angel said everyone should meet up over at Giles’. He sounded pretty mad. And Buffy, do you think maybe you could let go?”

 

“Sorry,” Buffy quickly released Anya and turned to the policeman. “Look um, there’s something really important I have to take care of now. My name’s Buffy Summers, this is my house, and I promise I’ll come down to the station later on and tell you everything I know, but for now I just have to go.” She turned in the direction of Giles’ apartment and started to run. Anya turned and grinned falsely at the officer before following.

 

*******************************

 

Faith stopped at the top of the stairs, her legs refusing to take her any further. She knew Angel was in there, she could feel his presence. Giles turned and looked up at her, the rest of the small group halting as he did so. He raised his eyebrows enquiringly. “What’s wrong Faith? Are you ok?”

 

‘No, I have to go in there and face Angel. I couldn’t possibly be less ok.’ Faith closed her eyes at the thought. Giles seemed to realise the problem and smiled slightly. “Well, uh, you go in Faith. Um, there are probably some things that need clearing up before… We’ll wait for Buffy out here.” He patted her shoulder softly, and gestured for the others to sit in the courtyard, as Faith made her way slowly towards the door.

 

Angel sat at Giles’ desk, the city plans lying open before him, pinpointing places Riley could be holding Spike. He didn’t look up when the door opened, merely called over his shoulder, “Giles, great you’re back. I was thinking that maybe…”

 

“You should get some glasses?” Faith joked, leaning back against the door, holding tightly onto the door handle for support. ‘Please God don’t let me mess this up,’ she prayed silently.

Angel turned slowly toward the door, not believing his eyes when he saw her standing there. “Faith?”

 

Beth’s surprise was momentary. They didn’t really have time to deal with whatever this was, but she felt that Angel probably had something deep and meaningful to say to the girl, so she quickly lifted the plans from the table, grabbed Drusilla by the arm and dragged her forcefully upstairs.

 

Oz, as usual, displayed no outward sign that there was anything odd about the situation. “Faith.” He acknowledged the former Slayer with a nod of his head and followed the two female vampires to the upper level of Giles’ home.

 

“Well haven’t you got a hug for your favourite Slayer,” Faith said finally, deciding to make some sort of attempt at conversation. She winced. ‘Oh great Faith. That was perfect. Try to remember just who he is and who his favourite Slayer actually is before you open your mouth.’

 

“Faith. What’re you doing’ here? I mean, how? Why?” Angel’s confusion made Faith relax slightly.

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you later, I’m bored with it already. I just, well I’m here to help Buffy that’s all.”

Angel nodded, “Right. So are you, ok?”

Faith laughed at his discomfort, “Apart from the dead thing? Sure.” Angel smiled. ‘God why does he have to look so nice when does that. Stop it. He’s Buffy’s… but she seems awfully into… No, no. That’s not the point and you know it. He spent the last few days torturing you, tormenting you teasing you unmercifully. You are so not allowed to be attracted to…’

 

“Faith, are you sure you’re alright?” Angel had moved closer to her while she was thinking and was now standing directly in front of her. She looked up, trying to hide the effect he had on her. ‘Shouldn’t this stop happening once you’re dead?’

 

Angel looked down at the girl who meant so much to him, more than he could even admit to himself, and remembered how he had felt early this morning when he found out she was dead. “Faith, there are so many things I want to say. So much I have to apologise for. I’ll make it right, I promise, even if it takes forever.”

“Hey, I told you, you didn’t have to apologise to me. I understand.”

 

The souled vampire shook his head slowly and hugged her to him tightly. “I understand,” she whispered again.

 

*****************************

 

‘Buffy, Buffy, Buffy, Buffy.’

 

Spike repeated the words in a mantra in his mind as Riley continued to torture him. He couldn’t really feel anything anymore, which he wasn’t sure whether to be thankful for or not. He knew that Riley was not going to win however. Even if he killed him. Because there was no way Spike was ever going to give in. He would not scream, or beg and he would certainly not be driven insane by ‘G.I. Joe’s evil twin.

 

His Slayer was the only thing keeping him going. The one thing keeping him together.

 

“Beg me to and I’ll stop,” Riley offered, holding the crucifix near to Spike’s burning skin.

“You know I stopped taking orders from head-cases the day Dru ran off with that bastard fungus demon.”

Riley roared with anger at Spike’s mocking words and pushed the crucifix roughly against Spike’s chest, eliciting a stream of smoke as the flesh burned and the smell of flaming skin filled the air. But Spike did not cry out.

 

‘Buffy, Buffy, Buffy, Buffy.’

 

******************************

 

The Slayer threw the door to Giles’ apartment open and entered swiftly, Anya close behind. She immediately sought out Angel, fixing her eyes on him, silently demanding that he do something to fix things. He was standing by the fireplace, head down; Buffy couldn’t remember a time she’d seen him more tense.

 

Her friends all looked at her worriedly. Once they’d all found out about Cordelia’s vision, they’d been concerned for Buffy and Spike. Somehow it seemed more appropriate to side with the vampire on this occasion, Riley’s betrayal showing them just how human Spike had become in their eyes.

 

Anya walked across to Xander, who hugged her tightly. He had things he needed to say to her, but they would have to wait. For now, he just held her.

 

Willow jumped up from beside Tara and moved to her best friend. She knew better than anyone how Buffy must be feeling. The news that Riley had taken Spike had upset the redheaded witch in ways that Xander and Tara had been unable to comprehend, and Willow had refused to say anything, not wanting to discuss Buffy’s feelings, even with two of the people who were closest to her.

 

Buffy took comfort from Willow’s closeness, squeezing her hand as she moved further into the room, but her eyes remained fixed on Angel. He stared at her, allowing her to see and share the pain this was causing him. Buffy saw a look in his eyes she hadn’t seen for two and a half years. The lust for a kill. Last time it had been directed at her, but she had been too numb to fear it. Now she was afraid.

 

Angel, the vampire who’s restored soul had made him ache for the sins of his past, the man she truly believed would never harm another, the demon she had willingly given her heart to because of the beauty of his soul, Angel wanted to kill Riley. There was hatred there, hatred and anger for the things Riley had done or was planning to do.

And she shared it. And she wasn’t sure what scared her more.

 

***********************************

 

Part 6

 

“I think you need some anger management classes, mate,” Spike panted as the stream of holy water burnt it’s way down his back. Riley was muttering under his breath and the vampire knew his taunts were affecting the human. But Spike was not about to stop. His arrogance and mocking manner, his quick sarcastic tongue, they were part of who he was. Riley was not going to get them. “You know, maybe if you’d shown Buffy this side of your frightening personality, if you can call it personality, then she wouldn’t spend so much time thinking about me.”

 

Spike gritted his teeth as the burning metal scraped his tender skin. Every spot of pain inflicted on him by the boy-wonder, meant that Riley, deep down, was hurting ten times as much. Spike thought idly about how he would feel in Riley’s place; having Buffy in all ways but one. Not truly having her love. Yes that would make him scream.

 

But Spike didn’t have her. Not yet. ‘Not at all mate if this carries on for much longer,’ he reminded himself. Well until he had her, or not as the case may be, he was going to have some fun. Riley was far more than just Buffy’s boyfriend. He was one of those commandos who’d stopped him from killing. ‘Yes. You’d forgotten that hadn’t you. So evil demon that you are, make yourself useful.’

 

“So Riley. How much has our little Slayer told you about the love of her life? Angel? Heard of him? Great guy. Strong, smart, kind, sensitive and all that crap. You’ve seen him right? Best looking bloke she’s ever had the pleasure of shaggin’,”

 

‘Yet,’ he silently clarified.

 

“Now he’s back; and back he is, with soul no less; and you’ve lost your marbles, how do you rate your chances?”

 

********************************

 

“Buffy!”

 

Buffy ran quickly up the stairs to Giles’ bedroom and found Drusilla sitting up on Giles’ bed, looking wildly around her. “What’s wrong?” Buffy demanded, her jaw set. Angel had convinced her not to kill the vampiress, but that didn’t mean Buffy wanted to spend any time with her.

 

“Where’s Spike?” Drusilla asked, her eyes suddenly becoming clear, and looking, Buffy thought, as she must have done before Angel drove her insane.

“We don’t know yet.” Buffy felt a rush of sympathy for the demoness. She knew how hard it was to lose someone you loved, to have been the means of their death even. She had killed Angel, and now Drusilla may indirectly cause Spike’s death. Dru still loved him; Buffy could see it as clearly as she had seen Spike’s love for Drusilla years ago.

 

“I want to… Help me Buffy, help me find him.”

 

If Buffy had given it a moment’s thought, she might have considered it ironic that the woman who had left Spike over a truce with her, was how asking for a truce to save Spike. But Buffy didn’t have time. She looked hard at Drusilla for a second and then offered her hand. “You help me.”

 

Without hesitation, Dru took the Slayer’s hand and nodded. “I help you.”

 

*********************************

 

“Thank God for mobile phones,” Cordelia said as the group checked over where they were going to patrol. The sun had just set, and the three vampires were the most anxious to set off. The vampires and the Vampire Slayer.

“Could we hurry this along a little,” Buffy said impatiently. “Oz you stay here and make sure everyone’s got all the information they need.”

“Check,” the werewolf agreed, moving Giles’ house phone to the coffee table for ease.

 

“Angel, Beth, Giles, you’ve all got your phones? Anya’s got Spike’s and Willow’s got Oz’s, yes.” Everyone nodded. “Right let’s go.”

 

Angel and Faith set off for a sweep of Sunnydale’s sewer system, which Angel knew intimately. Giles and Cordelia started searching the cemeteries, while Xander and Anya made their way to Willy’s Bar to try and find out as much information as they could from the Snitch. Beth and Wesley went back over the high school before moving on to the factories and warehouses down by the docks. Buffy and Drusilla returned to the Initiative caves, the Slayer sure that that was where Riley would be.

 

Willow and Tara had been assigned to search Sunnydale’s 43 churches, but they lingered behind the others, wanting to try a spell Willow had come across recently.

 

Oz frowned at them as they closed the door behind the others. “Aren’t you meant to be searching for Riley?”

“We’re going to, but we wanted to try and do this for you, and this is the only night we can do it. Three nights before the full moon,” Willow explained.

“Do what for me?” Oz asked moving nervously back, away from the two witches.

“It’s kind of an anti-werewolf spell. No more fuzziness around the full moon.”

Oz stared at Willow. “Serious?” Willow nodded. “Ok.”

 

********************************

 

“Look I don’t know where the kid is alright. And I’d be sure to tell you Xander. The demons in here aren’t really crazy about the guy, you know. They’d tell me in a second if they’d heard anything about him. And Spike. Man I love him like a brother. Don’t tell him I said that though.”

 

Xander leaned closer to Willy, trying his best to be intimidating. Willy flinched back, and Xander’s ego swelled, as he knew he was succeeding. “Xander he doesn’t know anything. We haven’t got time for this. Let’s go.” Anya started to pull on Xander’s jacket.

 

“You know Buffy’s gonna kick your ass if you’re lying Willy.”

“I do know that. That’s another reason I’m telling you the truth.”

 

********************************

 

“So what’s the deal with this Riley guy anyway? I mean does Buffy have some kind of sensor that seeks out schizo’s or something?” Cordelia opened the chest and looked inside, as Giles circled the rest of the crypt looking for some sort of clue. “Wow look at this. Someone’s got it really bad for our little Buffy,” Cordelia exclaimed holding up the sweater and assortment of pictures. “Is this why Riley went crazy?”

 

Giles gave Spike’s collection of Buffy-memorabilia a glance and then decided to forget about it. There were some things to do with Slayers and vampires even he shouldn’t know. “Cordelia please put that away. We have no business going through Spike’s belongings… even if they are Buffy’s. And Riley was never exactly stable to begin with, so no it’s not Spike’s fault. Or Buffy’s.”

 

*********************************

 

“Beth, do you think you could slow down a little? If they are here, you’re going to walk right past them at this rate.” Wesley flashed the torch into the far corner of the factory as he spoke, willing the vampiress to calm down.

“He’s hurting Wesley. I can feel it. He’s been in pain for hours. I hate this. When I find that guy I’m going to…”

 

Wesley stopped and shone the flashlight onto the face of the woman he loved. She looked at him, startled and then her eyes widened as she realised how she sounded. “Wesley, God I’m sorry. But this isn’t vampire stuff ok. This is sister stuff. Even if I were human I’d want to…”

 

“I know,” Wesley relaxed, knowing that Beth was right and that he had to trust her. He’d seen the look in Buffy’s eyes before she left with Drusilla and he knew she felt the same way. “It’s ok, really. I do understand.” He reached across and gently caressed her cheek before they turned and made their way further into the factory.

 

***********************************

 

Faith glanced nervously at her companion. She’d agreed to go with Angel to search the sewers, knowing that it would help to convince the vampire that she forgave him. Now she was here however, she didn’t know what to say. Angel didn’t appear to want to talk, and that was good, but she was uncomfortable.

 

However when they passed the same section of the tunnel for the third time, Faith felt she had to say something. “Angel, aren’t we going round in circles?” Angel ignored her and carried on walking. Faith stopped, annoyed now that he wasn’t paying attention. “Look, we’re never going to find them if we keep going over the same piece of sewer. We have to try a different way.”

 

Angel halted and turned to face her. For the first time she truly saw how all of this was affecting him. “I’m scared Faith. I can’t let Spike die. God knows I have plenty of reasons to want him dead, but he’s my Childe and I do love him. I failed you, I’m not going to fail…”

 

“Will you stop talking like that? You didn’t fail ok. I was doing what you told me. And Angelus tortured me, not you. I know you Angel. You’d never hurt me. You want to save Spike, that’s great; I wanna help. But you’re not going to do it following the same section of sewer all night.”

 

Angel closed his eyes and nodded. He couldn’t feel Spike, couldn’t sense him, as he needed to. Maybe if he were asleep… But they didn’t have time for that. He sent up an urgent prayer to any god that might happen to be listening to the prayers of demons, and walked back to Faith as she set off down another tunnel.

 

***************************************

 

“I can feel him Buffy. Spike, he’s in here. It’s feels bad this place. Evil.” Drusilla remained at the entrance to the caves, as Buffy checked her supplies.

 

“It is evil. And Riley’s evil. Way eviler than Spike.” Buffy agreed handing the crossbow to Dru. “Just in case,” she explained at the vampiress’s look. She held the sword in her right hand, throwing the bag behind a bush as she stood. She glanced at Dru and nodded. “Let’s go.”

 

****************************************

 

“Is that it?” Oz asked as the two girls got up and moved towards the door.

“Yeah. No more werewolf Oz. We hope,” Willow affirmed looking back towards her former boyfriend. “We have to go look for Riley. Call if anything happens ok?”

Oz nodded slightly, smiling as he considered a permanent life without the pressures of turning into a monster for three nights every month. And then he fell.

“Oz!” Willow shouted running back to the couch to try and help her friend. “Oz, are you…?”

 

She never got to finish as the werewolf jumped over the couch, knocking her to the ground, before running out through the open door into the night. Tara ran to her girlfriend and helped her up. “Willow, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. But Oz. Oh God Tara, what did we do?”

 

*******************************

 

“Hello? Willow, what’s wrong?”

“Um, Giles. I think we did something bad?”

“Bad. What do you mean? Where are you?”

“Your place. Tara and I tried to do this anti-werewolf spell for Oz but we kinda turned him into a werewolf.”

“What? Willow, are you and Tara alright?”

“Yeah Giles, we’re fine, but…”

“Get the tranquilliser gun out of the weapons chest. Meet us at the gates to Restfield cemetery.”

“Yes Giles. I’m so sor…”

“Willow please… do shut up.”

 

*********************************

 

Buffy inched her way slowly down one of the long passages that led through the caves. Drusilla stayed behind her trying to guide them to Spike as best she could. Buffy’s own special senses picked up the trace of a vampire as they neared the end of the passage and she signalled for Dru to stay quiet and still.

 

Hiding in the shadows the two women took in the scene before them. Spike was chained to the far wall, his arms stretched suspended above his head. His bare chest was covered with burns and bruises; his flesh had been pierced by metal pokers and marked with crucifixes. Buffy winced as she looked at him. Riley had tried to take away the cocky English vampire who was close to stealing her heart, and hurt him he had, but he had not defeated him. Spike’s head remained raised, his teeth set to try and will away the pain of the torture. Buffy remembered what Cordelia had said about her vision. No screaming. Buffy knew instinctually that the blonde vampire hadn’t cried out once, nor begged for release. He had taken all the pain, so that Riley would have to kill him without the pleasure of breaking him.

 

She saw Riley then, emerging from the shadows in the opposite corner, sword in hand. Drusilla almost cried out as Riley approached Spike, only Buffy’s urgent grip on her arm preventing her from doing so. The two women were united now against a common enemy. They both knew it wouldn’t last once they had rescued Spike, but for now they took comfort in the other’s presence.

 

“She doesn’t love you. She may be obsessed or infatuated or something, but she doesn’t love you. And she never will,” they heard Riley saying as he advanced upon Spike. “Won’t that hurt you? Knowing you’re going to die for a woman who never gave a damn about you.”

 

“Ah, but I always knew she didn’t love me. Never thought I had a chance. You on the other hand wished every day that Buffs would give you some sign that she loved you as much as Angel, and look where that got you. The point is mate, she doesn’t have to love you as much as Angel; she just has to love you, to care about you. You had it all and you threw it away ‘cause you were insecure. Wanker! If I had her, I’d cling on so tight and never let her go. Wouldn’t give a toss if she had loved the great poof an extra inch, because I had her, she chose me. She did choose you, didn’t she? God knows why. Girl’s always had pretty bad taste in men if you ask me, ‘til now that is. And you ruined it, stupid sod. So don’t think I’m going to whine like you because Buffy isn’t hopelessly in love with me. You’ve been at this for hours and I haven’t cracked, though you’re becoming more unstable by the minute. Either kill me or let me go, ‘cause frankly, I’m just bored now.”

 

Riley let out a shout of pure fury and charged at Spike. Buffy jumped up from her crouched position and ran quickly towards the two men. Drusilla raised the crossbow and fired at Riley’s back. The arrow sped quickly past Buffy and embedded itself in Riley’s shoulder. He turned with a shout of pain and was met by Buffy’s fist, which sent him flying back across the cavern.

 

Buffy advanced upon Riley as Drusilla ran to Spike. “Spike, my pet, are you ok?” Spike’s lips quirked at the question and he nodded slightly. “Yeah. Apart form the pain. The keys are on the table ducks,” he said nodding towards the corner where Riley had piled his supplies of holy water, crosses and other assorted weapons.

 

“You killed Faith,” Buffy spat as she loomed over Riley, “And you’re trying to kill Spike.” She leant over and dragged her former boyfriend to his feet. “I think it’s fair to say that things aren’t working out between us Riley,” she hit him again sending him smashing into the wall. He recovered quickly this time and returned her attack, backhanding her across the face.

 

Drusilla supported Spike as she unchained his arms and his weak body fell limply to the ground. As she bent to unchain his legs, Riley picked up the sword he had dropped when the arrow hit him and turned back to face a weaponless Buffy. Spike’s eyes never left the pair and he shouted a warning to Buffy as Riley approached her. Drusilla turned her head to look at the pair then back to Spike. He loved Buffy; she could see it glowing in his eyes along with the fear. As her mind flashed with happy memories of times they had shared over the past hundred years, Dru came to a decision. Without pausing to think why a soulless vampire was willing to help the Slayer for the man she loved, Drusilla caught up the sword Buffy had dropped and threw it to her.

 

Buffy caught the sword, thankful that Drusilla had kept her word to help her, and defended herself against Riley’s savage attack. He wasn’t as skilled as she was however and was soon at a disadvantage. As he tried to defend himself he hooked his foot around Buffy’s leg and she went crashing to the ground. He followed her down, straddling her waist and pinning her arms above her head. The shock of the fall left Buffy helpless for a moment and Riley used the time to hit her savagely across the head, slamming her head against the ground.

 

Spike cried out as Riley continued to beat Buffy, every hit making her less able to regain control and defend herself. Drusilla stared at the Slayer, knowing now what she had to do to make things right. She looked at Spike, his eyes locking with hers as she leant close to him. “I love you Spike. I never stopped.” She kissed him gently and when she pulled away her eyes were clear and focused. “Tell Daddy I did good. Be happy with her, my sweet.”

 

As she jumped to her feet Spike realised what she was planning and tried to catch her as she moved across the room towards Riley and Buffy. “Dru, No!” he cried hoarsely, the tears that were threatening to fall burning the backs of his eyes.

 

Buffy couldn’t focus, not believing she had lost control of the situation so easily. She had to do something. She had to move out of this position and start beating the crap out of Riley. The former military agent was intent on hurting the small blonde Slayer, and didn’t notice the black-haired vampiress approach.

 

Drusilla pushed Riley violently off Buffy, stepping over the Slayer and continuing to advance of the young man, as Buffy rolled away and got to her feet. Spike untied the shackles at his feet as quickly as his drained body could and then stumbled across to the Slayer. She caught him as he fell towards her, and he croaked desperately in her ear, “Stop her; help her, please!” Buffy looked, confused at the blonde vampire and then across at Drusilla. She immediately saw what was going to happen and started to run across the cave.

 

Drusilla and Riley fought angrily, each battling for control, Dru’s anger spurring her on. She wanted to hurt him as much as possible before the inevitable happened. But Riley was quick to find a stake among his vampire-torture chamber and lunged at the beautiful demoness.

 

Dru’s face held a look of pure peace as she glanced back at Spike and whispered, “I love you.”

 

Then she disintegrated.

 

Then there was silence.

 

*****************************

 

“Where do you think Oz could be?” Willow worriedly asked Giles as they walked quickly though the town. Tara and Cordelia had joined together to continue to search for Riley, and the Witch and Watcher had left them at the cemetery.

 

Giles looked down at Willow. His annoyance at her actions had faded once he had seen the look of fear on her face. It was just such an awkward time for something like this to happen. “Well, uh, he usually goes out to the woods yes? I think we should try looking there first.” He smiled at Willow, trying to reassure her that everything would be ok. She smiled back nervously, trying to take comfort.

 

*****************************

 

Spike, Buffy and Riley stood frozen for a second, before Riley launched himself at the Slayer, knocking her to the ground. Spike growled in fury as an enraged haze filled his mind. Without stopping to think of the pain which attacking Riley would induce, he ran toward the young man, dragged him fiercely away from Buffy, and threw him down onto the ground. Riley smirked cruelly up at him, “You can’t hurt me. We both know that.”

 

Spike didn’t know that. He couldn’t think clearly. All he could see was Riley killing Dru; Riley beating Buffy; Riley torturing him. He pushed past the pain, letting his demon emerge as he pounced on the boy, each punch hitting its mark. He couldn’t stop, the demon taking pleasure in being able to attack again after so much time.

 

Riley shakily pulled the crucifix from the back pocket of his trousers and pushed it into Spike’s unprotected chest. The vampire recoiled in pain and the young man used the opportunity to stagger to his feet. He kicked out at Spike, hitting him squarely in the head. He tried again, but Spike was ready this time and grabbed his foot, twisting the leg so that Riley crashed down to the ground. Riley rolled away and jumped up once more and the fight continued in earnest.

 

Buffy raised herself groggily to her elbows and looked around the cave. Riley and Spike were battling furiously and she knew had to help. As she raised herself ungracefully to her feet, she looked again at the two men, shocked. Spike was fighting. He was hurting a human. With intent. But he wasn’t in pain.

 

Spike held Riley pinned against the wall. He had to end it. He had to punish Riley for his sins. The evil in this boy was far more dangerous than the evil in him. He lent closer, knocking Riley’s head to the side and bearing his neck. “She never loved you,” he whispered in Riley’s ear before he sunk his fangs into his neck. Riley cried out at the pain, his open eyes staring wildly across the cave. He lost consciousness as the blood drained from his body and Spike supported his limp body as he continued to drink.

 

Buffy remained glued to the spot as she watched Spike drain her former boyfriend. She didn’t know why she hadn’t tried to stop it, but something held her back. She knew somehow that Spike’s actions stemmed from a kind of rage she understood. Once she had been intent on killing this very vampire because of the threat he posed to Angel. Riley had killed the one woman Buffy knew Spike worshipped beyond all else. She understood completely.

 

Spike dragged his teeth from Riley’s neck, tearing the flesh a little. The body dropped to the ground and Spike turned away violently. When he saw Buffy, standing watching from across the cave, his eyes widened and his handsome human features descended upon his face once more. He dropped wearily to the ground as the fog in his brain lifted and he realised what he had done. ‘Oh God,’ he thought, ‘She hates me now.’

 

Buffy started to walk across to Spike, worried that he was injured. He was still hurting from Riley’s earlier torture and needed rest. As she crossed the entrance to the cave, the werewolf jumped from the shadows, knocking her on top of the aching vampire. Buffy looked back towards the wolf as it stopped and growled menacingly at them. Buffy looked around for something to defend them with and cursed when she couldn’t see anything close enough.

 

The werewolf looked from the tangled pair to Riley’s body in the far corner and seemed to take a minute to think. Then he launched himself over the vampire and Vampire Slayer, and proceeded to savage Riley’s lifeless body.

 

Buffy didn’t have time to worry about what the werewolf was doing. She needed to get them out of there as quickly as possible. “Spike?” she said looking down at the blonde vampire, “Can you move?” He murmured vaguely in reply and Buffy helped him to stand.

 

As the two emerged from the cave they saw Willow and Giles running towards them. “Buffy, oh God, are you ok?” Willow asked her best friend as she ran up next to her. Giles helped to support Spike’s weak body, taking some of the weight from the bruised Vampire Slayer. “I’m fine Will,” Buffy nodded, reassuring her friends, “Spike needs rest though. And probably some first-aid.” Buffy smiled gently at the vampire who had fallen into unconsciousness.

 

“Yes, well, we’ll get him home then,” Giles said repositioning Spike’s arm around his shoulders.

“But what about…?” Willow began, her eyes pleading with the Watcher.

“What about what?” Buffy asked seeing Willow’s fearful look.

“Oz. Tara and I did a spell, but it went wrong and now he’s a werewolf,” the witch explained in a rush. Buffy looked at her friend wide-eyed and then back towards the entrance to the caves. “What?” Willow asked as Buffy continued to stare. “Um. Oz, he… I think he… He’s in there.” Buffy stammered.

 

“What? Is he ok? What’s he doing?” Willow moved towards the caves, holding the tranquilliser gun trained on the entrance. Buffy caught her arm and pulled her back. “No, don’t Will. Leave him. I’ll explain later. Can we just get Sleepy here home before my arms fall off.”

 

**********************************

 

Buffy pulled the quilt over Spike’s sleeping form, smoothed his mussed hair back from his face and switched off the bedside lamp. She slowly walked across the unfamiliar room, the light from the corridor guiding her to the door.

 

As they had made their way back from the caves, Willow had called Angel to tell him they had found Spike. The ensouled vampire had rushed to their aid, carrying Spike easily to the mansion, which was closer than Giles’ apartment.

 

Buffy walked along the corridor from Spike’s room to the great hall, where she found Angel sitting, head lowered, in front of the fireplace. He looked up as she approached and forced a smile to his lips. “Is he ok?”

“He’ll live,” Buffy reassured him, then she frowned, “In the not living sense obviously.” She flopped down next to him on the couch, closing her eyes and resting her head back.

 

“How about you?” Angel asked, looking at her intently.

“I…” she sighed. “When all of this catches up with me, I’m going to cry for two days straight,” she managed without opening her eyes. “I’m ok actually. This has all been pretty routine, don’t you think?”

She turned her head to look at him and he raised an eyebrow. “Routine?”

“Well yeah. Friends in danger, torture, murder, weird hellmouth thing, vampires, my boyfriend turning into a homicidal maniac, more death… fairly average couple of days in the life of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

“Buffy I’m…”

“No, it’s not your fault. I just wish this didn’t keep happening.” Buffy stared up at the ceiling.

“So do I,” Angel sighed sadly.

 

Buffy reached across and took his hand. “I’m sorry about Dru,” she said quietly, knowing that Drusilla’s death must be giving him considerable pain. In the last two days, three of the most important women in his life had died. Granted Faith wasn’t exactly gone, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t grieving. He had hurt her more than anyone. “We tried to stop her, but… well I think she wanted to prove to Spike that she still loved him, and was sorry for what she had done. Well at least that’s what I hope she was doing.”

 

Angel nodded. “Yeah. I think that’s what it was too. Once again however I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. You know, there are so many things you find you want to say to people when they’re not around anymore to hear them. Things I kept putting off saying to Darla, Drusilla, Spike, and Faith; things I really need to say. And then there’s you…”

 

Buffy sat up and looked directly at him. “What about me? Haven’t we said everything already?”

“Buffy I know there I things I’m not allowed to say to you anymore, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to say them. The idea that someday, something might happen to you I won’t be able to tell you how I feel…”

“So tell me now,” Buffy said, “and we won’t have to worry about it anymore.”

 

“I love you Buffy. I told you once that in over 200 years, I’ve only ever loved you, and that’s as true today, as it was the day I said it. I want you to know, to believe that that is never going to change. We’re not the same people now as once we were; we don’t live in each other’s worlds anymore. You’re going to meet someone and fall in love and that’s good… you should do that… and deep, deep down, I want you to know that, I’ll be happy if you’re happy. Not ‘perfectly happy’ of course, ‘cause you won’t be with me… but I’ll be glad that you’ve found someone you can share your life with.”

“You weren’t happy about Riley,” Buffy interrupted, not knowing why she needed Angel’s input on the subject.

“No, well, that’s ‘cause he was an arrogant, insecure bastard, who attacked me and hurt you. Look I promise when you meet the right guy, I’ll be with you all the way, but Riley… can I ask what you actually saw in him?”

 

“He was the opposite of you. That made me feel safe,” Buffy murmured, finally able to tell Angel the truth about her former boyfriend.

“Did you love him?” Angel asked, unable to look at her in case she said yes.

“No I didn’t love him. I thought I might be able to, but there was something missing. I don’t know what.”

“Excitement maybe? I’m not talking about life and death stuff, ‘cause I’m sure you’ve had plenty of excitement in that area. I mean your heart didn’t skip when he entered the room, you didn’t spend hours thinking of seeing him, and you didn’t dream about things you might do together. His voice didn’t make your blood sing, and his kisses didn’t…”

 

“Alright, gees, enough already,” Buffy turned away embarrassed as she realized that Angel no longer moved her in those ways either. She loved him, a part of her always would, but things were different now. No she hadn’t been as excited by Riley as had been by the vampire sitting next to her. If she was truly honest the only man who had aroused those types of feelings in the last year and a half had been Sp…‘You can’t tell Angel that!’

 

She thought about what Angel had said about telling people things before it was too late. She needed to talk to Spike. When he woke up they were going to have a proper conversation, one they’d been avoiding for the past three and a half years.

 

***********************************

 

Anya snuggled next to Xander in bed, glad that Spike was safe and Riley was no longer a threat. They could try and get back to normal now. It wasn’t even late, but the events of the last few days had caught up on them, and they had given in to their bodies’ need for sleep. “Xander are you ok?”

“Yeah, why?” Xander replied holding her tight.

“Just, that it feels as though I’m going to snap in two any moment now.” Xander released her a little and she wriggled slightly trying to get comfortable.

 

“It just feels strange. Everything that’s happened. Riley going crazy ‘cause Buffy didn’t love him enough…” He stopped suddenly and turned his head to look down at her. “You know I love you right. I mean I do love you Anya and I don’t think I’ve ever said it, but it’s true. I love you.”

 

The former demon looked up at her boyfriend in wonder. “I don’t know what to say, I… Xander. I love you too.” She started to cry gently, tears of happiness coursing down her face. He held her beautiful face gently in his hands and softly kissed away all her tears. “I need you and I love you, Anya.”

 

She beamed up at him and laughed lightly. “Make love to me.”

 

***********************************

 

Tara flicked the switch and her small room was flooded with light. She and Willow entered exhausted and slumped down wearily on the bed. Their small black cat jumped up between them and purred softly, nestling into the covers.

 

“Are you sure everything’s alright Willow?” Tara asked, rolling over to face her girlfriend. Willow sat up and pulled the cat onto her lap, stroking her tenderly as she spoke, taking comfort from her warmth.

“Yeah. I don’t know why Buffy wouldn’t let me go get Oz, but she must have had a good reason. She said he wasn’t hurt, and that we should just go get him in the morning. She seemed to think he’d still be there.” Willow hadn’t argued with Buffy when she’d seen the look in her eyes. Something was strange, but it would probably be best all round if she never found out.

 

“But are you ok with Oz being here? If he stays, will it be…” Tara got up off the bed and started to tidy her desk. Her immaculately tidy desk. Willow looked at Tara puzzled, before realising that the other witch was still anxious about Willow’s feelings for Oz. She walked over to her girlfriend and slowly turned Tara to face her.

 

“Tara, I do love Oz. He’s a part of me. Like Xander’s a part of me. They make me, me. I couldn’t be who I am without them. So if Oz is back for good, that’ll be great, eventually. After all the weirdness goes away. There aren’t many people in the world that I love. Four actually, if you don’t count Giles who’s really more of a dad to us all… Buffy, Xander, Oz… and you Tara. Never think I don’t want to be with you. I love you.”

 

She leant forward, closing the gap between then and brushed Tara’s lips gently with her own.

 

****************************

 

It was nine o’clock when Spike awoke. He was disoriented at first, until he recognised his old room at the mansion. The one he’d lived in alone for months while Dru had been with Angel. The one in which he’d planned his Sire’s downfall. Spike didn’t regret it; Angelus had taken the most important thing in his unlife from him. He would never regret trying to keep Dru, trying to put things back to the way they had been.

 

‘If only I’d known then what I know now… How different would things be?’ he thought as he stared around the black room, his vampiric vision allowing him to see everything perfectly. The only thing he had actually regretted since that fateful night two and a half ago was leaving Buffy with a sword at her throat. If he’d realised then that he was in love with her, he’d have dropped Dru in a heap on the floor, and gone to Buffy’s aid. ‘Still, maybe things worked out for the best,’ he thought as he carefully sat up in the bed and switched on the bedside lamp.

 

As the light flooded the room he remembered. Dru was dead. She’d allowed herself to be killed to give Buffy some time to stop Riley. She’d sacrificed herself for him and she wanted him to be happy with Buffy. “Buffy,” he said aloud and pushed the covers off the bed, pulling on the black trousers and light grey jumper that Angel had thoughtfully left out for him. The trousers were a little too big, so Spike fished out a belt from the chest of drawers and then made his way out into the corridor. His wounds had healed quickly and the only reminder to him of his torture at Riley’s hands were the aches that followed him as he moved and the unwanted images that flashed through his brain.

 

Spike sent up a silent prayer of thanks to his Princess for helping him and Buffy, and hoped that she knew he forgave and loved her. Now all he had to do was talk to the woman he loved so completely. Buffy needed to know he loved her, even if she didn’t feel the same way.

 

He walked slowly into the great hall, unsure of what to say to either Buffy or Angel. They weren’t there. He stood in the doorway considering places that they might have gone to wait or rest when he heard someone shift on the couch. He smiled, thinking that Buffy must have fallen asleep and tiptoed across to his Slayer.

 

His eyes widened when he saw Buffy, curled in the arms of his Sire, fast asleep. They both looked so peaceful, so content and Spike felt as though his heart was being ripped in two. This was what she wanted. What she had always wanted. Angel not him. It would never be him. ‘You’re beneath her, remember?’ the demon inside him called out and Spike closed his eyes against the pain welling inside of him once more.

 

Spike walked quietly backwards out of the room, careful not to disturb the sleeping pair. Once he reached his bedroom he picked up his duster and put it on, before running out of the mansion into the night, before the tears he had been holding back since Dru died, started to fall.

 

*****************************

 

Part 7

 

Buffy awoke slowly and nuzzled her head into Spike’s neck. “Mmmm,” she groaned trying to get closer, running her hand up his chest and then around his side to hold him tightly to her. She pressed a kiss against his neck, liking the cool feel of his skin against her lips. “Spike,” she moaned, leaning up so that he could kiss her.

 

“Uh, Buffy?” Angel said, confused as to the Slayer’s behaviour. He was tying his hardest not to react to her, but if she kept wriggling like that…

 

Buffy’s eyes shot open and she stared at Angel. ‘Oh God! What did I do? What did I say?’ She pushed herself up away from him and rubbed her hands over her face. “Hey. Sorry about falling asleep on you. Don’t know what… I mean, I must have been really tired.”

 

Angel sat up next to her and nodded. If she didn’t want to tell him why she’d been moaning Spike’s name, he wasn’t about to ask. “Are you ok?” he asked instead.

“Me? I’m fine. Fine, fine, Buffy’s fine,” she rambled, jumping up away from him. This was all too confusing. She didn’t see Angel’s smile as she turned away. “Uh, what time is it?” she asked, leaning over and grabbing his wrist to look at his watch. “Half nine. Two and a half hours sleep. Do you think I should check on him?”

 

Angel had to bite his lip to keep from smiling this time. He was afraid to answer her in case he burst out laughing. ‘She’d probably die of shock if you laughed, pal,’ his mind called out to him and his resolve weakened. As quickly as he could he stood, turning away to hide the enormous grin that covered his face. “Yeah. Why don’t you go and sit with him for a while,” he said eventually, getting himself under control. He turned back to her, his usual brooding countenance once again in place.

 

Buffy looked at him quickly and then walked to Spike’s bedroom, hating that she might have hurt Angel. “But you are going to hurt him, idiot. He’s going to find out. You should tell him,” she muttered to herself as she pushed open the bedroom door. The bedside lamp was switched on but Spike wasn’t in the bed. Buffy looked around agitatedly. The clothes Angel had found for Spike were missing, as was his beloved duster, which Beth had brought earlier. “Spike?” she called, walking out into the hall, “Spike?”

 

Angel heard her calling and walked quickly to find her. “Buffy. What’s wrong? Where’s Spike?”

“I don’t know. He’s not in there and his clothes are gone.”

Angel could hear the worry in her voice. Spike would undoubtedly be feeling better than he had been earlier, but he still wasn’t back to his old self. “Don’t worry, we’ll find him.”

 

Buffy shook her head and walked back through the great hall and out into the conservatory. She noticed that the gate at the top of the stairs was standing open and she could see the moon shining brightly through the arch.

 

“Oh no. Angel,” she called and the vampire was beside her in a second. “He went out. We have to look for him. He must have seen us on the couch and…” Buffy was talking quietly to herself, but Angel understood where her fear stemmed from. “We’ll search,” he said patting her shoulder gently. Her eyes filled with tears and he cursed. Once he had been so good at comforting her, hadn’t he? “I’ll get my coat,” he said quickly and turned back towards the house. When he returned with his coat however, Buffy was gone.

 

**********************************

 

Spike was miserable. He sat at the piano on stage at the Bronze, letting all of his feelings tumble out one after another. The blonde vampire had walked the streets for a couple of hours, not really knowing where he was going or caring what happened to him. Eventually he had found himself outside Sunnydale’s only club, which by that time had closed for the night. He had broken in, determined to drink the place out of alcohol, but when he had saw the piano at the side of the stage he decided to take the long route to the bar.

 

Now as he thought about the night’s events, he pounded the keys harder. He had done the one thing he had promised himself he would never do over the last three months. He had hurt Buffy. He remembered the look on her face as she watched him kill Riley. She’d never forgive him for that.

 

Buffy heard the soft music as she entered, keeping to the shadows so that Spike wouldn’t see her. But the undead Englishman was engrossed. Buffy moved closer.

 

He could smell her. It felt as though she were right there with him. How long had he felt like this? It seemed as though she had always been with him; always been part of him. His fingers moved over the keys without his bidding, as the words tumbled passionately from his mouth.

 

“She may be the face I can’t forget,

A trace of pleasure or regret,

May be my treasure or the price I have to pay.

She may be the song that summer sings,

May be the chill that autumn brings,

May be a hundred different things,

Within the measure of a day.

 

She may be the beauty, or the beast,

May be the famine or the feast,

May turn each day into a heaven or a hell.

She may be the mirror of my dream,

A smile reflected in the stream,

She may not be what she may seem,

Inside her. She.

 

She, who always seems so happy in a crowd,

Who’s eyes can be so private and so proud,

No one’s allowed to see them when they cry.

She may be the love that cannot hope to last,

May come to me from shadows of the past,

That I remember ‘til the day I die.

 

She may be the reason I survive,

The why and wherefore I’m alive,

The one I’ll care for through the rough and ready years.

Me, I’ll take her laughter and her tears,

And make them all my souvenirs,

For where she goes I’ve got to be,

The meaning of my life is she.”

 

Buffy could hardly breathe as Spike’s fingers wove magic over the keys during the instrumental section. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest; the blood rushing in her ears. Who was he singing to? And he was definitely singing to someone. Did he still love Dru that much?

 

“She may be the reason I survive,

The why and wherefore I’m alive,

The one I’ll care for through the rough and ready years.

Me, I’ll take her laughter and her tears,

And make them all my souvenirs,

For where she goes I’ve got to be,

The meaning of my life is she.”

 

As the song ended, Spike turned his head involuntarily towards Buffy who was standing at the edge of the dance floor. “Buffy!” He jumped up quickly, knocking over the stool in his haste. She had heard it all. Spike ran.

 

Buffy opened her mouth to call him back but it was too late; Spike had ran out of the back exit. Buffy gave chase.

“Spike!” she shouted, angry that he kept running from this; that they both kept running.

 

He slowed. Stopped. It was time to face it. Time to tell the truth. She deserved to know. Deserved an apology for the way he had acted earlier. But he didn’t know how he could do it.

“What now Slayer? Another meaningful conversation in an alley? Isn’t this getting a little old?”

 

“This is about Dru isn’t it. You’re still in love with her,” Buffy said gently. “I know it hurts but eventually…”

Spike still had his back to her and he smiled sadly. “Alright love. If you like, it’s about Dru.”

Buffy winced slightly. ‘You wanted him to say it was about you, didn’t you?’ her mind whispered. “Are you alright?” she asked aloud.

 

He turned around to face her. ‘No, I’m not alright, you stupid bitch! You’re standing ten feet away from me, and all I want to do of grab you and kiss you and shag you into the ground, ‘cause I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t make love to you soon!’ He really couldn’t say that. He searched for a neutral topic. “How’s your mum?”

 

“What?” Buffy was surprised by the question.

“Your mum. Joyce. How is she?”

“She’s doin’ ok. Getting better.”

“That’s good.” He spoke sincerely. He liked Joyce. “I, uh, have a present for her, if she’d like it.”

Buffy nodded, unsure what to say next. He’d never answered her question. She tried again. “Are you ok?”

Spike laughed. At least she’d lost none of her determination.

 

“Me?” he asked quietly, astounded that she was thinking of him at such a time. “How are you?”

It was Buffy’s turn to be shocked. “What?”

“Riley. Are you alright?”

Buffy nodded slightly, confused.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t lie. You hated him.”

 

“Yes, but I’m sorry it happened like that. I knew when I saw your face… Please, you have to believe I never wanted to hurt you.” He walked a little down the alley away from her. “I couldn’t do that. Not now,” he started to laugh, “Funny ain’t it? Spike, the badass vamp, with a chip in his head and a chip on his shoulder, not being able to say, I love you.”

 

“What?” Buffy asked softly. Was he really saying this?

“I love you. William the Bloody. Slayer of Slayers. I’m in love with you.” He rolled his eyes and threw his arms in the air in defeat. “Just kill me!”

 

“You love me?” Hearing it was infinitely more satisfying than suspecting it. She felt a warm glow in her stomach.

“I love you. And I hate it. I hate it and I hate myself for it, ‘cause I can’t hate you. I love you. And seeing you with Riley, that was a thousand times worse than Angel, ‘cause at least I knew that was true love. You’ve haunted me for three and a half years, and now I’m here and I can see you everyday and it’s hell, because I can’t touch you, or hold you. And up ‘til now, I couldn’t even tell you how I felt. And that… song, that was the only way I could say it. The only way I could tell the truth. ‘Cause the truth, that scares me.”

 

He stared at her for moment, scared and confused, before he seemed to realise what he had done, what he was saying. “Shit!” He turned and ran quickly down the alley before Buffy could stop him.

 

*****************************

 

“Will, it’s me. I need to talk to you,” Buffy was bouncing nervously on the spot outside Willow and Tara’s dorm-room. Her sharp knock had disturbed the two witches who were trying, once again, to de-rat Amy Madison.

 

Willow opened the door quickly, realising from her friend’s tone, that there was little time before Buffy simply kicked the door down. “What is it? What’s wrong?” Willow asked standing aside and allowing Buffy to pass by her. Tara saw Buffy’s agitation and decided to leave the two best friends alone. “I’ll be in the library if you need me,” she said, picking up her bag and history texts, and giving Willow’s hand an understanding squeeze as she passed.

 

As the door closed behind Tara, Willow turned anxiously to Buffy, her own fear heightened by Buffy’s tension. “Buffy, are you ok? Has something else happened? Tell me.”

“He loves me!” Buffy spluttered quickly, sitting down on the bed for a moment, before standing again and pacing the room.

“Who?” Willow asked, feeling as though she’d joined the conversation half way through.

“Spike, of course!” Buffy was almost yelling. She didn’t know what to do, or say, or think, or feel, or how to react.

“Of course,” Willow breathed, finally understanding.

 

“Is that all you have to say? Nothing else? No, ‘what’s he thinking Buffy’? Or, ‘what’re you thinking, Buffy’? No exclamations of, ‘Oh My Good God’? ‘Cause I really think that’s what I need right now. Not understanding acceptance!” Buffy was gesturing wilding with her hands. She had thought that it would be easy to deal with. Finding out Spike’s true feelings had been one of main priorities. But hearing him say the words and watching him get so confused by his own feelings… Him. Who was always in control, who always knew what was going on. If he didn’t know, how was she supposed to know?

 

“But it’s easy to understand, isn’t it?” Willow smiled, stopping her friend’s pacing and putting her hands on Buffy’s shoulders. The Slayer stared at her, her face showing Willow that it certainly wasn’t easy to understand. “It’s not?” Willow said, her own forehead now wrinkling in confusion. “But you said you said you had feelings for him.”

“Feelings that he’s incredibly afraid of… God!… I need him to understand; I thought he did. One of us has to.”

“Understand what?” Willow asked, losing the thread again.

“US!” Buffy really was shouting now.

 

“Alright Buffy. I think we need to sit down and start this again, ‘cause you lost me.” Willow pulled Buffy over to the couch and they sat down. Buffy took a couple of deep breaths, while Willow tried to remove the confused look from her face. “Start from the beginning and keep going ‘til the end and then I’ll speak, ‘kay?”

 

Buffy nodded and started to tell Willow everything she’d ever felt about Spike, from the moment she saw him in the alley behind the Bronze three and a half years ago, to the conversation they had had earlier, in the exact same place. She told her about the arousal, the initial fear, the thrill of excitement and the pleasure of spending any time in his company. She explained his ability to read her like a book and understand all her inner most thoughts and feelings, and how his behaviour had changed towards her in the last few months. She detailed the night they’d spent together a few weeks back when she’d forced him to tell her about the Slayers he killed and he’d forced her to realise that there wasn’t any way of fighting it, that one day she’d want to give in. She paid particular attention to the fact that he hadn’t killed her and how complex their relationship had been ever since.

 

“Wow!” Willow sighed when Buffy had finished, finally seeing the cause of her friend’s confusion.

“Tell me about it,” Buffy said, burying her face in her hands.

“Buffy… do you love him?” That was the only thing Willow really needed to know. She knew Buffy and secretly she had thought for a while that Spike would be incredibly good for her friend. Buffy needed someone who would love her absolutely and stand by her no matter what, but also someone who would stand up to her and fight with her when she needed it. And Spike wasn’t really that bad, was he? ‘I mean he’s got a lot going for him. Handsome, smart, strong, funny… there are others… I just can’t think of them all right now!’ Willow thought.

 

Buffy looked across at her best friend and knew that Willow at least would understand. “I do. I do love him.”

Willow exhaled loudly and smiled. “Then that’s all that’s important. Buffy, do you remember what you told me, your first day here? ‘Life is short. Seize the day ‘cause tomorrow you might be dead.’” Willow quoted. “If you think you have a chance at a moment’s happiness… then go for it.” Willow squeezed Buffy’s hand tightly, reassuring the young Slayer that she would always be there for her.

 

“Thank you,” Buffy said, her eyes misting and her throat choked with tears. She and Willow hugged for a few minutes before Buffy pulled herself together and stood. “I really should go; there are a few other people I should see before I do this.”

 

Willow nodded and walked with her to the door. She gave Buffy another quick hug and then whispered with a devilish grin, “Ring me with the details!”

 

*************************************

 

Buffy took a deep breath and knocked on the door of Xander’s apartment. She had gone to Willow first, not only because she was her best friend, but also because Buffy knew that of all the people she needed to talk to, Willow would be the most understanding. Xander on the other hand would be least understanding. Well probably Angel would be least, but Xander was right up there with him in intolerant heaven. ‘Now Buffy, he has good reason,’ she scolded herself, knowing that Xander truly cared about what happened to her.

 

Anya opened the door and waved Buffy inside, her statement telling the Slayer that she was not at all happy about her being there. “Hey Buff,” Xander called appearing in the doorway of the master bedroom, “What’s up?”

“We were in bed,” Anya stated, and Buffy raised her eyebrows at the pair and smiled.

 

“Then I’ll leave you to it,” she said turning back to front door. “I just thought you might like to know that Spike’s in love with me.”

“What?” Xander shouted, stepping in front of Buffy so that she couldn’t leave. “Fang-face? Deadboy Junior? We are talking about Spike right? Our Spike? Vampire, blonde hair?”

“Yes Xander, our Spike. He loves me.” Buffy was enjoying causing someone else some confusion for a change.

 

Xander opened his mouth and then closed it again immediately. He stared at Buffy, not knowing exactly what to say next. Anya rolled her eyes and sighed, accepting that she and Xander were never going to get back to where they had been earlier. “Well, duh. Wasn’t that obvious?”

“What?” Both Buffy and Xander turned to Anya at the same time.

“What? You know now, so what does it matter if I knew?” Anya shrugged and went into the kitchen, leaving the two friends alone.

 

Xander looked down at Buffy again and saw she was expertly avoiding his gaze. That could only mean one thing. “You love him too, don’t you?”

Buffy looked up at Xander startled and knew he wasn’t going to like it, but he deserved the truth. “Yes.”

 

A thousand and one thoughts flashed through Xander’s mind as he tried to find the right thing to say to show her how he felt. ‘What? Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? He’s evil. He’s tried to kill you. He’s tried to kill me… and Willow. He’s your mortal enemy. He’s a vampire. You’re a Vampire Slayer. Didn’t you learn anything with Angel? He’s just going to hurt you…’

 

As he looked at her though, he realised that there was only really one thing he could say. “If he ever hurts you Buffy, I’ll kill him.”

Buffy’s eyes widened as she realised that Xander was giving her his blessing. Her face broke into a huge smile and she thanked God that she’d been given such good friends. She threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly and he hugged back twice as hard. “Thank you Xander. You’ll never know how much this means to me,” she whispered softly, the tears returning to her eyes.

“Yeah well,” Xander smiled slightly, embarrassed.

 

“I think it’s great!” Anya shouted from the kitchen. Buffy and Xander laughed slightly to each other at Anya’s forceful words. “I hope you’ll be very happy,” she said, returning from the kitchen with a cup of coffee, “And I promise that, one day, when you and Spike are in the middle of some hot, sweaty, incredible sex, I’ll come and knock on your door and disturb you.”

 

Buffy laughed and gave Xander a quick kiss on the cheek. “When Spike and I are in the middle of hot, sweaty, incredible sex,” Buffy said opening the front door, “We won’t answer.”

 

*************************************

 

Giles frowned, concerned, at the statement on Buffy’s face when he opened the door to her. She moved past him into the apartment with a tight smile and walked over to sit on the couch. Giles removed his glasses and placed then on his desk before joining her. He waited for her to speak, knowing that whatever it was, was causing her considerable torment, by the fact that she was chewing on her bottom lip. He smiled reassuringly at her and she started to cry.

Giles looked at her bemused for a moment before hugging her to him. She cried softly in his arms for a few minutes before the tears started to recede. He passed her a handkerchief and she blew her nose, wiping the tears from her face with the backs of her hands. As she had predicted, the events of the last few days had eventually caught up with her and the fatherly statement on Giles’ face had pushed over the edge.

 

As she continued to sniffle quietly, Giles went into the kitchen and made a pot of tea. Neither spoke until he was again seated next to her on the couch.

 

“I’m sorry Giles. You must think I’m pretty dumb. After all I’ve seen and faced, the last couple of days shouldn’t really have much of an effect on me.”

“Nonsense,” Giles admonished gently, passing her a mug and offering her a biscuit. “These past few days have been hard on all of us, but you most especially.”

“No, I think I’m way down the list. Faith, Spike, Angel… it’s been worse for them.”

“Yes it has, but you’ve had a lot to deal with, new emotions running through you and the stress is finally catching up. And all that business with Riley…” Giles wasn’t exactly sure how best to help her with that.

 

“Right, Riley. The worst part is, I’m not going to miss it. I mean, sure, sometimes I’m gonna look around and think, where’s Riley? But after all he did… Kinda put things in perspective.” Buffy swallowed audibly, knowing that if Giles said no, there was no way she could be with Spike. As much as she cared about the vampire, she didn’t want to do anything to hurt Giles. She needed him more than anyone; loved him like a father. He had allowed her to be with Angel, as he knew how much she loved him. But it had been an unwilling acceptance because of all that had happened in the past.

 

Buffy put her mug down on the coffee table and turned to face her Watcher. “Giles, I need to tell you something. And you’re not going to like it and I’m sorry if it hurts you, but I want you to be completely honest, and trust that I won’t do anything to hurt you.”

Giles put his own mug down, bracing himself for whatever news Buffy was going to impart.

 

“Spike loves me. And I think, I love him.”

Giles stared at her for a minute unmoving, and Buffy started to worry. “Giles? Giles are you ok?”

As she moved a little closer to him, Giles snapped out of his trance like state and started to laugh. Buffy gaped at him as he continued to shake with laughter. Tears were streaming down his face and he gripped his sides as the laughter caused an ache in his chest.

 

The Slayer continued to stare at him, shocked and concerned, until Giles saw the look on her face and calmed himself. “Oh Buffy, I’m sorry. It’s just that I was prepared for something so much worse than that.” He hiccupped as his laughter died down and then took her small hands in his. “Buffy I’m not going to tell you what you can and can’t do. You should know by now that all I want is your happiness. If you think that you will be happy with Spike, then I’m sure that everyone will try their hardest to accept it.”

 

“Are you disappointed?” Buffy whispered, her throat restricting again as the tears threatened once more.

“Oh no Buffy, I could never be disappointed in you. I’ve been thinking for a couple of days that Spike would be just what you need, which is a longer story than I think we have time for now. It won’t be easy. I seem to remember you two fighting constantly last time when you weren’t, um… but I think that’ll it’ll work out better than all the rest.”

 

Impulsively, Buffy threw herself into Giles’ arms and hugged him close. “Thank you,” she whispered, before adding something she’d been meaning to say for at least a year. “Giles… last time, with Spike… I said something to you, which I’ve meant to say again a hundred times, but never found the opportunity. You’re my family Giles. That thing about you giving me away… It wasn’t because of a spell. It’s because if it ever really happened, you would be the one I’d want there with me. I have a father. A million miles away, I have a father I haven’t seen for three years. And maybe he loves me just as much as my mom keeps telling me he does. But you’re my dad Giles. You’ll always be my dad. And I love you.”

 

*************************************

 

Spike’s mind was racing with the events of the last few days. He unleashed his pent up anger and frustration, through wilful destruction of public property. He broke into several of the stores on the high-street, glad that the chip was restricted to harming humans, and proceeded to tear them apart. He carefully avoided Giles’ magic shop, knowing that part of it would smell of the Slayer and needing to avoid temptation at all costs.

 

“How could I have said that? Why did I tell her? Idiot!” he muttered to himself as he walked through Sunnydale’s streets once more, his fists finding willing targets in car-windows, trying to take pleasure in scaring the local population by openly wearing his game-face.

 

Eventually he found himself outside the mansion once more and, sighing, let himself quietly in through the front door. He couldn’t see Angel anywhere, for which he was extremely grateful. He had no wish to talk to his Sire, feeling that he might end up either ripping Angel’s arms off, or as a big pile of dust.

 

As he made his way down the corridor that led to his old bedroom, he saw a girl standing by the wall-length window, gazing out into the garden. “Faith?”

The girl turned at the sound of her name and she smiled slightly at him. “Hey. Where’ve you been? Angel’s out looking for you.” He nodded faintly and she turned back to the window.

 

“Are, uh, you alright?” he asked moving closer, leaning back against the wall so he could see her face. She didn’t answer and he frowned. “Do you think Riley was the big evil, or do you think there’s worse to come? ‘Cause I don’t think I can take much more.”

Faith smiled again. “I don’t think it was about evil after all,” she answered cryptically and Spike didn’t press for a bigger explanation.

 

They stood in silence for a few moments before Spike came to a decision. ‘You are about to make the biggest mistake of your unlife,’ he told himself, but he knew that it was the only thing he could do.

“Faith, um, I want you to try and do something for me.”

Faith turned fully to face him, her eyes wide. “Look Spike, I know you’re a hottie and we’re both dead, but I don’t think that B would…”

“Not that!” Spike shouted quickly, feeling slightly embarrassed but also considerably flattered by her words. “It’s a spell. For Angel. A restoration spell for the curse, without any strings attached.”

 

Faith frowned slightly, before the implications of Spike’s words hit her full force. “He could be with B,” she whispered and Spike nodded imperceptibly. Faith recognised the pain in his eyes as the same feeling welled up inside her. “You must love her a lot.”

 

Spike smiled sadly and closed his eyes. “Enough to want her happy. Even if it is with that souled wanker.”

Faith nodded in agreement and sighed. She was going to be tied to Buffy forever and if she did this she’d have to watch Buffy and Angel live together happily until Buffy’s death and her own release.

“Where do you want me to start?”

 

*************************************

 

Buffy took a short cut through the cemetery, back to the mansion. As she neared the exit she spotted Angel walking towards her along another path. “Buffy,” he called out as he noticed her and she braced herself. She had to tell him now.

 

“Angel, hey. Did you see Spike?”

“No. You?”

Buffy nodded, avoiding his gaze. “Yeah I saw him. He was at the Bronze.” Buffy took a deep breath and opened her mouth to speak when Angel spoke.

“He loves you Buffy. Did you tell him you were in love with him?”

 

Buffy stared shocked at her former lover, then wrinkled her forehead in confusion. “You know?”

Angel smiled and tilted his head to the side, “Pretty obvious wouldn’t you say?”

“Why does everyone keep saying that? It wasn’t obvious to me. It’s crazy!” she ranted.

Angel continued to smile at her, laughing slightly at her behaviour. “Well everyone on this side of the fence can see the electricity. I guess you couldn’t ‘cause you were in the middle of it.”

 

Buffy slumped to the ground and Angel sat down beside her, putting a comforting arm around her shoulders. “I thought you’d be mad,” she said at length, still unable to look him in the eye.

“Why? Because he’s my Childe? Because he beat with a crowbar? Because he chained me up and had red-hot pokers shoved through me chest? Or because he’s a cocky bastard, who hates my guts?”

Buffy laughed and looked up at him. “All of the above,” she murmured.

 

“Well I think we can work something out,” Angel told her. “I want you to be happy.”

“Everyone keeps saying that too,” Buffy said wryly. “Makes me sorry that I’m such a bitch most of the time.”

Angel laughed again and pulled her to her feet. “Well you’ve met your match with Spike there. You know he’s not going to take any crap when you get all sulky and spoilt.”

 

Buffy punched him lightly in the stomach. “Hey! I’m not that bad.”

“No, you’re not,” Angel agreed, bending and kissing her gently on the top of her head.

 

*************************************

 

Buffy pushed open the door to Spike’s crypt nervously; glad she’d been able to talk to Angel. All of her friends had told her to do this and be happy. She was thoroughly determined that this time she would be. “Spike?” she called softly, hopping down the steps into the main part of Spike’s ‘home’.

 

“He’s not here,” Beth replied, not looking up from her task. Buffy looked across to find Spike’s sister standing by the bed, carefully packing a small bag. “He’s at the mansion.”

“No he’s not,” Buffy told her, walking across to the vampiress. Beth turned and saw Buffy, her quizzical look reminding the Slayer forcefully of the vampire she had come to see.

 

“Buffy. You know I thought this was all going to go a little differently. Not quite so much torture,” Beth said, needing to finally tell the Slayer what she’d come all the way from England to say. “My brother loves you very much Miss Summers. He’s been sending me letters about you for the longest time. Recent ones have given me a little more cause for concern, but like I said the other day, I like you. What I’ve seen of you anyway. You should give him a chance to prove himself. To prove he loves you.”

 

“I know he does. He told me earlier. And I do want to give him a chance,” Buffy informed the elder woman firmly. Beth smiled brightly at Buffy’s words and took two steps to pull the Slayer into an embrace. “Thank God,” she whispered. “I know you’re going to be so happy.” Buffy smiled and returned the hug.

 

As Beth moved away again she remembered one more thing she needed to say to the Slayer. “If you hurt him, I’ll kill you in the most violent way known to man. Understand?”

Buffy nodded quickly and reassured the vampiress, “I won’t hurt him. I promise.”

 

*************************************

 

The next morning Buffy and her friends gathered at Giles’ apartment for a late breakfast. Buffy had been unable to find Spike again the previous night and had returned home in the early hours of the morning to shower and change. Once the sun rose she gave up hope of finding Spike easily before that night and grabbed a couple of hours sleep, before heading to her Watcher’s home.

 

As the Scooby Gang sat at Giles’ dining table, talking animatedly about nothing in particular, all avoiding the subject of Spike in order to try and keep Buffy in equilibrium, there was a loud knock at the door. The nine occupants all looked at each, before Giles jumped up and moved to open to the door.

 

“Uh, hey, Mr Giles? Is, uh, is Oz here?” the young man asked the former school librarian.

“Devon,” Oz said standing and crossing to his friend.

Giles stepped away from the entrance and the lead singer of ‘Dingoes Ate My Baby’ entered the small apartment.

“Hey man. Oh, I’m sorry if I interrupted your breakfast. I can come back,” he said gesturing towards the door.

“No. It’s ok,” Oz stopped him, “I’m not eating. I’m surprisingly full this morning actually. It’s interesting.”

Buffy started to choke on her orange juice and moved nervously in her seat.

 

“Well I just came to ask if you’d thought about comin’ back to the band. We really need you Oz,” Devon told the werewolf, placing a hand on Oz’s shoulder.

“Oooo,” Willow cried excitedly, jumping from her seat. “Yes. Oz. Then you can stay.”

 

Oz looked at his former girlfriend and smiled. “I don’t know Will. Thinks might get awkward…”

“Only for a while. And besides, we all want you to stay. Don’t we?” she asked, looking over at her friends.

“Oh, absolutely,” they chorused. Willow grinned foolishly and clasped her hands together in front of her.

“Ok. Count me in,” he said turning back to Devon.

 

“Actually man, we have this tour thing coming up… If you want to stay in Sunnydale, then you shouldn’t…”

Oz turned back to Willow. “If we write, when I get back, things won’t be weird. It won’t be forever.”

She smiled, knowing that Oz missed his friends and playing with the ‘Dingoes’.

“You better write everyday Daniel Osborne.”

“I promise Willow Rosenberg.”

 

*************************************

 

“Have you seen Faith?” Angel asked Buffy as she entered the mansion that evening. When Angel had returned from searching for Spike, he had found neither his Childe nor Faith in residence, and he was starting to get worried.

 

“I haven’t seen her since last night, why?” Buffy asked anxiously, seeing the quick flash of fear, which crossed his face. Angel was usually in perfect control of his emotions. Recently however they had been kept near the surface, especially where Faith and Spike were concerned.

 

“Is Spike here?” Buffy asked moving closer. She’d gone straight to the mansion as soon as the sun had set, in the hope that Spike had, or would return there. Beth was waiting at the crypt and had instructions to call Buffy the minute Spike showed up.

“No he hasn’t come back,” Angel said gently, watching as disappointment filled Buffy’s face.

 

“Yes he has,” the voice in the doorway disturbed both vampire and Slayer and they spun to face the Englishman. “And he’s brought you a present,” he said carefully, making sure neither one noticed any form of emotion behind the words. “Well it was Faith really, but… well I commissioned it.”

 

Buffy stared intently at the blonde vampire as he crossed the room slowly to where they stood, while Angel looked behind Spike for Faith. “Where is she?” he asked when she didn’t appear.

“Graveyard,” Spike answered his Sire without taking his eyes off Buffy.

Angel glanced between the two and then turned back to Buffy. “I’m going to find her. You gonna be ok?”

Buffy nodded slightly, her gaze still on her mortal enemy, and Angel disappeared out into the evening dark, without either vampire or Slayer noticing.

 

They stared at each other for a few minutes, neither saying a word. Spike was trying to remember every detail. This would probably be the last time he would see her. Once he’d given her the restoration spell he was leaving. Leaving Sunnyhell and all the painful memories. Buffy was trying to find the courage to tell Spike that she was ready to face what was between them. She needed to tell him that she cared about him, needed him. Loved him. “Spike…”

 

“Buffy…” They spoke at the same time, stopping and breaking the tension with slight laughter. “Please let me go first,” Spike said, knowing that if she started to talk he’d rip the damn spell up and pretend it never existed. ‘And why don’t you? Neither you nor Faith wants this, and what they don’t know can’t hurt them.’ But Spike couldn’t do it. He had to let her make her own decisions.

 

“Before she died, Dru told me about this spell,” he began in a rush; fishing the piece of paper Faith had brought him out of his duster pocket. “I asked Faith to try and find it for me… you know, using whatever she can now she’s whatever she is. Wasn’t hard to find actually. Just that no-one ever looked for it.”

 

Spike stopped and looked across at Buffy. She was staring at him, a frown marring her beautiful face. Spike inhaled sharply and wondered for a minute if he could go through with this. ‘Do you know what you’re about to throw away? When did you turn into such a bloody poof?! Idiot! Just grab ‘er for God’s sake.’

“It’s a restoration spell, for Angel. Well, you’ll want to use it on Angel. And there’s… there’s,” Spike’s voice faded away as he looked at her. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t.

 

They were standing so close. His arms came up of their own volition and pulled her to him. Her eyes displayed a moment of surprise before they filled with a desperate need. “Spike,” she whispered, putting her own arms around him, moving closer.

 

He lowered his mouth to hers and for a moment, as he held her close and moved his lips over hers, he experienced a bliss like no other. He tasted heaven for the first time in his existence.

 

But once again he pushed back the temptation, slowly drawing back to look into her flushed face. She blinked her heavy lids open and looked up at him. Then she smiled and for a moment his resolve weakened, but he fought it. “Buffy. This spell… there’s no strings. No ‘one moments perfect happiness’ crap. You can be with Angel. Forever.”

 

“What?” Buffy was having trouble understanding what Spike was talking about. ‘He kissed me,’ she thought, ‘Wow, he really… and it was… wow!’ She raised a hand to her lips and smiled, ‘Even better than last time.’

 

“Buffy, are you listening to me?” Spike asked stepping away from her. “Buffy?” he shook her gently and her gaze snapped up to his. “Sorry,” she said, shaking her head to remove all traces of light-headedness, “What did you say?”

 

Spike sighed. He wasn’t sure he could say it again. She hadn’t listened. Tough.

“This restoration spell for Angel. There aren’t any conditions. Once he gets his soul, it’ll be there forever. And then you and Angel can be together.”

 

Buffy’s eyes widened in shock. “Spike? You… What… I don’t…” She stopped and took a deep breath, unintelligible thoughts flying round her head. “An irremovable soul?” Spike nodded, his face not betraying the slightest emotion. “And you’re giving it to me?” He nodded again. “Why?”

 

Spike frowned. “It’s what you want, isn’t it? You and Angel, perfect love, forever, blah bloody blah.”

Buffy started to laugh. Wild, hysterical laughter, she couldn’t control. She’d finally found a way to put Angel behind her and move on, finally found someone she truly wanted to be with, and he was letting her go before they’d even come together.

 

Spike continued to frown at her. He’d imagined a lot of things, a lot of reactions, but laughter had never been one of them. “Aren’t you going to say thank you?” he asked, becoming annoyed with both her and himself. He watched her, imagining that she must be extremely happy, glad in one way that he had been the ‘cause, devastated in another that she’d never want him that much.

 

Buffy didn’t hear Spike. All she could hear was her own laughter in her ears and a tiny voice telling her to quickly reassure the blonde vampire before her. She tried to control the laughter, wiping the tears from her eyes and taking deep breaths to steady herself.

 

Spike couldn’t bear it any longer. He pushed the spell forcefully into her hands and turned away, walking quickly through the conservatory, into the night and out of Sunnydale, before Buffy could say a word.

 

*************************************

 

Angel couldn’t find Faith. ‘Graveyard’ in Sunnydale didn’t exactly narrow the field a great deal. He’d searched eight of the twelve before Buffy caught up with him. “Angel!” she screamed, running towards him, her face tortured, tears streaming down her cheeks.

 

“What? Buffy what’s wrong?” Angel asked urgently, catching her as she collapsed forward onto him.

“He’s gone,” she choked out desperately. “He gave me this and then he left.” That was all she able to say before she dissolved into shaky tears once more. Buffy had gone immediately to Spike’s crypt following his departure from the mansion. Beth however had told the young Slayer that Spike had been to see her earlier and had said he was leaving town as soon as he had given Buffy something.

 

Angel held her tightly, wanting to know what ‘this’ was, and why Spike thought it necessary to leave. “Buffy,” he asked softly. “Did you tell him you love him?”

She shook her head, unable to form any words. Her crying became even more intense and Angel decided to leave it for the moment. She needed her friends. He scooped her up in his arms and carried her quickly to Giles’ apartment. He kicked the door open, unable to knock and unwilling to let go.

 

The inhabitants of the small room jumped violently as the door crashed open. When Giles saw Angel carrying a shattered Buffy he strode quickly to him and took the younger girl in his arms. She went willingly, clinging to him as he tried to soothe her. “What happened?” he asked Angel over Buffy’s head.

 

The vampire shook his head slightly to indicate that he didn’t really know. “She said something about Spike leaving. They were at the mansion, I went to look for Faith and then Buffy came running up. She said he gave her something and then left.”

 

Giles glanced down at the paper clenched tightly in Buffy’s hand and reached down to take it from her. Willow approached to comfort her best friend as Giles carefully unfolded the paper and read.

“Good Lord!” he exclaimed as he read the ancient spell. “It’s a restoration spell. Rather old, probably one of the first ever produced.” He read the whole spell completely and then re-read it to make sure he wasn’t daydreaming. “It’s permanent,” he said simply when he’d finished.

 

“What?” Angel grabbed the piece of paper from Giles and quickly skimmed through the text. “A permanent soul,” he whispered, finishing the spell and laying it carefully on the table.

“You and Buffy could be together,” Xander exclaimed, not really knowing the reason for drawing attention to the fact. Anya frowned at her boyfriend, “Xander. I think they realise. Why else is she crying?”

“But it’s a good thing right?” he said confused, before remembering Buffy’s disclosures of the previous night. “Oh.”

 

Willow hugged Buffy tightly. She could imagine the pain her friend must be in. When Oz had left the year before she had felt as though her world had been torn apart. “Buffy? Do you want to sit down?” Buffy didn’t answer, but she allowed herself to be led to the couch. The Scooby gang all looked at the Slayer, then at each other. They didn’t know what to do to make things right.

 

Eventually Buffy calmed and looked around at her friends. As she saw their worried faces she decided it would be easier to deal with one thing at a time. She stared up at Angel and his eyes locked with hers, searching, questioning. Finally she nodded. “Do the spell.”

 

*************************************

 

Part 8

 

Faith sat on the edge of the loading docks, wondering what would happen if she jumped in. Angel would have the spell by now. He may even have his soul for all she knew. He and Buffy could be happy, and she was going to spend the rest of her death miserable. ‘Is this my punishment? More effective than hell, I suppose.’

 

She sat, lost in her thoughts and didn’t hear the small blonde Slayer approach. “Mind if I sit here?” Buffy asked, not waiting for an answer and sitting down next to the younger girl. Faith swallowed. She didn’t know what to say. She’d known that sooner or later she’d have to face Buffy, but she had been praying for later. Way later. “B… uh, where’s Angel?”

 

“Nice and casual Faith,” Buffy said, smiling at her friend, “You want to tell me why you found that curse?”

“Spike asked me to find it. He wanted you to be happy,” Faith said factually, not wanting to get into the details of why she had done what she had.

“But you love Angel,” Buffy said matter-of-factly, gazing out over the ocean. “Didn’t you want to try and keep him for yourself?”

 

Faith turned sharply to face the Slayer. “No! Look B, yeah, ok, I care about Angel, but I know how much the two of you want to be together so I thought…”

“We don’t,” Buffy interrupted and Faith’s jaw dropped. Buffy smiled widely. “I’ll always love him in some way, but things change; people change. I love Spike and Angel, well, you’ll have to ask him, but… Now he has a soul… a permanent soul, you two could be together, and be happy.”

 

Faith couldn’t form any words. She was in shock. Did Buffy just say..? “What?”

“What do I have to do to release you Faith?” Buffy asked, ignoring her friend’s shocked question.

“Release me? I didn’t tell you…”

“You said you were bound to two people and the only way I could get rid of you would be to release you. Doesn’t take a genius. I release you, you go to Angel, or something like that, right?” Faith nodded. “Right, so I release you.”

 

At the words Faith slowly faded from Buffy’s view and the Slayer was left alone on the edge of the docks.

 

*************************************

 

Angel found Spike easily enough. He knew his Childe well and Spike hadn’t had enough time to go very far. He was lying on his and Drusilla’s old bed at the factory, clutching Miss Edith to his chest. Angel moved quietly down the stairs and over to the bed, pushing back all the memories he had of this place. None of them were happy ones.

 

“What do you want?” Spike asked without opening his eyes. He had known that his Sire would catch up with him eventually; knew that it would be better just to face Angel this one last time instead of continuing to run.

“I want to know why?” Angel said in a low voice. He had been shocked that Spike had done so much to help Buffy and him be together, especially as he was himself in love with the Slayer.

“Why not?” Spike turned over on his side away from Angel, who growled warningly before pulling the blonde vampire up to face him.

 

“This isn’t a joke Spike!”

“You think I don’t know that?!” Spike roared, forcefully pushing Angel away and jumping up from the bed. He started to pace the small room. “You here to gloat? You’ve got the girl and the soul and now you can live happily ever after, while Spike’s left all alone?”

“I’m not here to gloat,” Angel inserted gently. “I wanted to say thank you.”

“Well you’ve said it. Now, sod off.”

 

“Spike, just this once, could you not be a bastard?”

Spike opened his mouth to retort but stopped when he saw how serious Angel was. He sighed. “I wanted her to be happy ok? And maybe you don’t believe that an evil, soulless demon like myself could do something so unselfish, but, hey… I’ve always been different. I like to keep people guessing, you know.”

“I know,” Angel said with a slight smile. “But, er, didn’t you want to fight for her.”

Spike laughed deprecatingly and sat wearily down on the edge of the bed. “I’ve thought of nothing but. For the last few months I’ve been searching for the right way to show her… I mean I’ve dreamed about her choosing me you know. Over Riley. Over you… And let me tell you, dreams don’t get any better than that one.”

 

Angel laughed at sat down next to Spike. “What happened to us? We used to be such good friends. I never thought…”

“I’d betray you. Well first you joined the other team, which kind of put us into enemy territory. Then you came back to the dark side, and stole my woman. What did you expect me to do? Bake you a cake?”

“I’m sorry.”

“And that’s another thing I hate about you. Stop being so damn forgiving. You may want redemption for past sins, but I don’t think it covers hurts you inflict on your own kind.”

“I’m not apologising for redemption, idiot. I’m apologising ‘cause I’m sorry. You know, if you and Buffy are going to be together, you’re going to have to learn how to accept an apology. And probably how to give one.”

“I know how to apologise. Just ‘cause I don’t do it, doesn’t mean I… ‘S’cuse me?”

 

“I’m going back to L.A. With Faith if I can find her. Buffy and I aren’t meant to be. You should go see her.”

“Angel… Why are you doing this?” Spike couldn’t really believe his Sire was giving up the Slayer. Giving her up, to him! He must be dreaming again.

“I’m noble? Look, she’s happy when she’s with you and I want her to be happy. So go see her. Before she meets another dork whose arms and legs I want to rip off and shove up his…” Angel stopped and took an unneeded breath.

 

Spike chuckled. “You too, eh? And you’re alright with it? Me and her?”

“Yeah. Look Spike, since you’re gonna be a white hat from now on, do you think maybe we could start over? You know, learn to trust each other again. I’d like it if we could be friends.”

The younger vampire nodded. “I’d like that.”

 

*************************************

 

Angel dropped Spike off at the entrance to the graveyard where he lived and drove back to the mansion. He should really go and ask Buffy if she’d found Faith, but he was sure Spike would be on his way to see her after he’d changed clothes and Angel didn’t want to spoil the surprise. He grinned when he thought of what they were all doing. He’d just given up the love of his life to an evil vampire who hated him and was about to tell a woman who’d tried to kill him a few times, how he really felt about her. He’d blame the hellmouth if he didn’t live in LA.

 

As he entered the main hall he saw the slight figure of a woman standing by the fireplace. “Faith?”

She’d turned at the sound of her name and dropped her gaze to the floor when she saw who it was. “Angel… I er… Buffy said…” She stopped and looked up at him, frowning. She twisted her hands together in front of her and started to pace a little from side to side in front of him. “Buffy, she, uh, she released me. So I guess that means I’m bound to you.” She started talking quickly, not looking at him; trying to explain the situation without saying anything that might give her away, just in case… “I’m supposed to be a ghost, not a Guardian, I guess you already have one of those, but I can still touch things, I mean I’m solid. Do you think they’ll give me a handbook ‘cause I’m gonna need one. I always thought ghosts could walk through walls and things, well I haven’t tried but…”

 

She got no father as Angel walked quickly across the room to her and pulled her up close to him. Her face held a look of disbelief as he crushed his lips to hers. She stood still for a second before realising what was happening and wrapping her arms around him. He picked her up carefully and walked to the couch, never taking his lips from hers. He sat and positioned her on his lap, one hand moving to cup her head, the other gently caressing her side.

 

As neither needed to breathe, the kiss continued for several minutes, before Angel remembered he had something to say to her. He pulled away gently and she moaned as his lips left hers, trying to pull his head back down to her. He held her hands in a gentle but firm grip and stared into her eyes. She looked shyly back, wishing that she didn’t get so confused around him.

 

“I love you Faith.”

 

Faith couldn’t believe it. She’d wanted to hear those words for so long; had dreamt about Angel telling her that he loved her and wanted to be with her. He was what had kept her together while she had been in prison. And now he really was saying it. She should say something. ‘Tell him!’

 

“I love you, Angel.”

 

*************************************

 

The first thing Spike noticed when he entered the crypt were the candles. The room had never looked so bright. It was beautiful. And confusing. Spike frowned. No one should be here. Beth had gone to stay with Wesley in a hotel for the night, before they left with Angel for LA in the morning. Or so she had told him earlier. Was he interrupting something? “Beth?” he called softly, descending the steps slowly, ready to turn and leave if he found his sister and her Watcher enjoying a special evening.

 

When he reached the floor the music started. Soft romantic music, which flowed around the room, filling it with loving warmth. He took two more steps before the smell hit him. Vanilla mixed with power and energy. The Slayer. “Buffy?” he croaked. This couldn’t be real. She couldn’t be here, doing this, for him.

 

She stepped out from behind the pillar and Spike felt his chest restrict. If there had been any chance of his breathing before, it would be impossible now. She looked exquisite, stunning, enchanting. She wore a long, light pink, silk gown, which moulded her figure, emphasizing her tiny waist and beautiful full breasts. Her hair was curled and hung freely around her face and shoulders, making her look incredibly fragile and innocent. She smiled shyly at him, her green-grey eyes, blazing with hope and something else Spike couldn’t quite make out.

 

“Buffy,” he said again, more forcefully this time. His eyes raked over her face and body, drinking in every inch. “God I love you so much.”

 

The Slayer’s shy smile grew to fill her entire face as the words were wrenched from his lips without his bidding. For a moment he looked scared as he realised what he had said, but then he couldn’t think anymore as Buffy hurled herself into his arms, pulling his head down to meet hers and kissing him passionately.

 

The kisses of his dreams seemed inconsequential compared to the reality of kissing the Slayer. She fit so perfectly in his arms, moving instinctually with his lips and hands. He ravished her mouth with a desperate need that had been eating away at him for months, and she returned everything in full, allowing him access to her mouth, tilting her head so that he could kiss her neck. ‘She trusts me,’ he thought and a happiness which he had never felt before suffused his body.

 

He pulled gently away and Buffy gave a small squeak of displeasure. Spike grinned, a purely male grin of masculine pride, and stepped slightly back. Buffy pouted and tried to move closer but he held her at arms length. “Slayer, we have things to talk about. Things I definitely want to say before we go any further, but if we carry on like this, I’m going to forget everything except shagging you into the damn floor. Understand?”

 

It was Buffy’s turn to smile. She knew there were things that needed to be said, on both sides, but her ego was swelled with the knowledge that she had that much power over this soulless vampire. “Ok,” she said stepping back to put a little more distance between them, “Lets talk.”

 

Spike sighed and closed his eyes to collect his thoughts. When he opened them again Buffy had moved and was sitting on top of the stone coffin on which he slept. He moved closer and sat down beside her. “Why didn’t you stay with Angel?”

 

Buffy continued to look at the floor, knowing it would be best to get this over and done with. “I don’t love Angel that way anymore. He’ll always be a part of me, but we’ve moved on.”

Spike nodded slightly. “And now you… I mean you…”

Buffy looked up sharply and smiled, taking comfort in his confusion this time. “I love you.”

 

Spike swallowed. Had she just said that? He blinked and decided to make doubly sure. “What?”

“I love you. Me, Buffy, I, love, you, William the Bloody.” She smiled again and he had to restrain himself from grabbing her again. “Anything else? Or can we get back to the smoochies?” she said leaning closer.

 

He jumped down and moved across the room. “Buffy how can you love me? I’m a vampire. And there’s no soul in here like with Angel,” he said, moving a hand up to cover his heart.

“There’s a chip…” she began but he quickly interrupted. He needed to point out all the things that made this wrong and stupid and dangerous. Then if she still wanted him, he’d know that she truly loved him.

“It doesn’t make me a good person. If it wasn’t there I’d still be trying to kill you.”

“If it came out tomorrow would you want to kill me?”

“God no! I could never do that Buffy, I love you.”

 

She smiled at his use of her name. She knew what he was trying to do. It wouldn’t make any difference.

“Spike, I’m going to talk now, and you’re going to listen. And when I’m done, you’re gonna get over here and make love to me, or I’m going to kick your ass from one side of this town to the other. Ok?” Spike nodded and she continued.

 

“You don’t have a soul, but you have feelings and emotions. Maybe you’re not supposed to, but they’re there. And I know that even if you don’t have a soul to tell you not to do things because they’re wrong, you have love and kindness and gentleness and strength, which will help you not to do things that are wrong, in order not to hurt those you love. I saw your love for Drusilla. And it made me so angry at the time, that a soulless demon would go to the length of asking his mortal enemy for help, just so he could be with the woman he loved. Angelus could never love; I don’t believe there are many vampires in the world that could. But you’ve always been different Spike.

 

“Now it won’t be easy. We’ll fight and bitch, and you’ll have to put up with my sulky moods and childish behaviour. And I’ll have to put up with yours. But I don’t expect to be treated any different by you, and that’s what I need. Someone to stand up to me, but love me all the same. And I need you. I have from the first second we met outside the Bronze. Everything you’ve ever said to me has been the truth, and I’m ready to face it all now. We have something special, and I want it to work. I want us to try. Because life, my life, is too short to worry about whether this is wrong or stupid or dangerous. I need you, and I love you.”

 

By the time she finished there were tears streaming down her cheeks. Spike was beside her in an instant and held her face gently in his hands. He kissed away her tears, and she started to laugh shakily as he smoothed her hair away from her face. “Shh. Don’t cry love. Buffy. I love you.”

 

He laid her tenderly back on the stone slab, pulling off his duster before lying down carefully next to her. He looked down into her face and asked a question she had asked him once in his dreams. “Happy?” Her smile lit the room in a way the candles never could and she whispered, “Ecstatic.”

“Are you sure you want to do this here? I wanted everything to be perfect,” he told her, nervously.

“It is perfect,” she reassured him, drawing him down to her, and joining their mouths in a tender kiss.

 

*************************************

 

It was and hour before dawn and the twelve friends stood outside the mansion. Wesley had managed to rent a van, which would ensure that Angel and Beth could travel to LA, without perishing in the sun, and he had promised to return sometime in the next week to pick up Angel’s car.

 

Beth and Spike stood a little apart from the others. His sister seemed happier than Spike had seen her in a long time and he was glad. “So everything’s ok?” he asked, still needing reassurance that his baby sister was alright. She smiled up into his anxious face and hugged him. “Everything’s fine big brother. Wes and I are going to be great. I promise. And you won’t be far away anymore, so that’s another bonus. I expect visits.”

Spike laughed too and held her tight, “Count on it. Especially as ‘dad’ seems to want some family-bonding sessions. Whatever did I do to deserve this?”

“You wouldn’t have it any other way,” Beth said, hitting him gently on the arm. She was glad her brother was happy. And Buffy seemed happy too. She’d known everything would turn out right.

 

Buffy stood with Angel and Faith, glancing across at her new lover, boyfriend… ‘How can I describe Spike?’ She couldn’t really believe she was this happy. She was never happy and the feeling scared her. And Spike..? She snorted with laughter at the thought of loving her mortal enemy so completely, causing Angel and Faith to tear their eyes from each other long enough to find out why she was laughing.

 

Angel smiled when he saw whom Buffy was gazing at. “You two good?” he asked.

“Of course, they are. Did you see them when they got here? So B… is he good?”

“Faith!” Buffy and Angel exclaimed at once and the former Slayer laughed at the expressions on their faces.

“That good huh?” she said and laughed even harder when Buffy blushed bright red.

 

“Uh, guys?” Cordelia called impatiently, as the minutes until dawn quickly slid past. “Do all the vampires want to get inside before the humans get covered in ash?” The Scooby gang wished their friends well and hugged them goodbye. Cordy climbed behind the wheel and started the engine; while Giles and Xander made a final check that no light could get into the back of the van.

 

Beth hugged Spike one final time and kissed his cheek. They walked hand in hand to Wesley who stood nervously by the side of the van. He’d been dreading having to talk to the blonde vampire, knowing that Spike would probably be angry at his treatment of Beth. The vampiress climbed into the back of the van and Spike turned to Wesley. “Take care of her.”

Wesley sighed in relief and smiled. “I will. I do love her.”

“Good,” Spike said nodding, “Cause if you hurt her, I’ll show you how I got my nickname.” Wesley swallowed, nodded once and climbed into the van behind Beth.

 

Spike walked over to Buffy, Angel and Faith, struggling to suppress his laughter.

“Oh. I know what that look means,” Buffy said as he approached. “What did you say to poor Wesley? Have you been tormenting him?”

Spike’s face displayed a look of pure innocence. “Who me?”

She punched his shoulder and he grabbed her around the waist, pulling her to him and burying his face in her neck. She shrieked delightedly at the feel of his lips nibbling her skin.

 

Angel and Faith looked at each other, briefly smiling in amusement at the behaviour of vampire and Slayer. The sound of the van’s horn broke the couple apart and they turned back to their friends. Buffy hugged Angel and Spike hugged Faith. The blonde Slayer and dark vampire held each other’s eyes for a second of complete understanding before wishing each other goodbye.

 

“Thank you,” Spike whispered in Faith’s ear and she nodded. “And I forgive you. For that time, in the Bronze.” Her shocked eyes shot to his laughing ones. “You were right though,” he added and she burst out laughing.

“Care to share?” Buffy said appearing between the two and enfolding Faith in a hug of her own.

“I’ll tell you later Slayer,” Spike promised, moving towards Angel.

 

“I love you,” Buffy said softly.

“I love you too B,” Faith assured the Slayer.

“Take care of her,” Angel told Spike as he hugged his Childe for the first time in a century. “And yourself,” he added softly.

“I promise,” Spike told his Sire. “Be good.”

Angel laughed and took Faith’s hand, and the pair joined Wesley and Beth in the van.

 

*************************************

 

“I did that book already!”

“You might have missed something. We don’t exactly have an endless supply of books!”

“Can the two of you keep it down please?” Giles asked the vampire and Slayer without raising his head.

“He started it,” Buffy mumbled.

“Me? It was you, Miss-I-did-that-book-already. As though you get everything right first time.”

 

“Are they dating?” Anya asked Xander as she watched Buffy wrestle Spike to the floor of the magic shop. He nodded, catching one of the books they were researching from, as it was knocked to the floor by the movement, without stopping his reading. “Xander are you listening? Oh… never mind,” she sighed as the wrestling for dominance turned into wrestling for pleasure and the two blondes started to kiss.

 

“Maybe we shouldn’t be here,” Anya suggested, turning her attention to the two witches on the other side of the table.

“What?” Willow asked looking up, and seeing Buffy and Spike making-out on the floor. In the two weeks since they had announced their relationship to their very relieved and happy friends, the Scooby gang had gotten used to the couple’s inability to sit through a meeting together without having some sort of argument.

 

The first time it had happened they had both stormed from the room angry, and Willow had been worried that her best friend would be hurt. But Buffy seemed happier than ever. In fact Willow had never seen her looking so radiant and joyous on a constant day-to-day basis.

 

When Willow had broached the subject with her friend, Buffy had laughed and explained that all she had ever really wanted was for someone to treat her like an equal instead of putting her on a pedestal and that Spike always made her feel special, even when they were arguing. “I know Spike loves me,” Buffy had told her, “And I love him. Doesn’t mean we’re different in anyway. We disagree, we fight; that’s normal right. All that’s different now is that I get the added bonus of making up with him afterwards.”

 

Looking at the couple on the floor and knowing what was coming next from her long conversations with Buffy, Willow nodded frantically at Anya. “Yes, yes. I don’t think we really need to be here. We should go to Giles’.” She, Tara and Anya stood, each picking up a couple of promising texts, and Anya dragged Xander to his feet. “Hey!” he exclaimed, as his girlfriend pushed a pile of books into his arms. “What the..?” Anya pointed to where Spike and Buffy still lay, the four friends around the table noticing that Buffy’s denim shirt and Spike’s black silk one had been removed.

 

“Giles!” Willow shouted, unable to tear her eyes away as Spike’s hand slid under Buffy’s white vest, and her best friend started to tug at Spike’s white t-shirt. The Watcher looked up at Willow’s call and moved his gaze to follow that of the Slayerettes. “Oh dear God!” he yelped and grabbed his jacket from the chair next to him. He picked up his books and moved quickly to the door, the Scoobies following swiftly behind.

 

The vampire and Slayer were oblivious to everything but each other. Over the next few years they would laugh, cry, fight, fear, learn, care and protect. Most importantly they would love and continue to love, no matter what. And now in the silence and half-light of the magic shop, they loved.

 

*************************************

 

The End


End file.
